Summer Nights

I'm not sure about you, but I have really been enjoying my summer. I'm teaching, but it's a much lighter load than my usual semesters, so I end up having these long stretches of time to enjoy myself. I thought I'd do a blog of recommendations for those of you looking for ways to spend your lazy days!. Here are some things I've watched/read/listened to recently that I think are worth your time!

WATCH

The Good Wife...she's really not that good.

1. The Good Wife-All 7 seasons are finally out on Hulu, and I binged my way through in about 3 weeks. Aside from incredible acting, this show manages to deliver a strong story arc from beginning to end. Once I realized that it's really just a law show, I expected it to become rather formulaic, but it avoided that trap and actually delivered some fresh and creative takes on the same court cases that show up time and time again. While I wasn't pleased with the last half of the last season, (it feels a little rushed and the characters I grew to love just seem to disappear) I can forgive it because as a whole this show is pretty complex. I gave it a solid 8 on IMDB.

2. Love-I had about 6 people Snapchat me to tell me that they thought I would like this show, and they were right. While I'm really trying to commit to only watching shows that are completed, I have a few exceptions on the list and this is one of them. You can find it on Netflix and there is only 1 season so far. This is Judd Apatow's latest endeavor, so if you already know that you don't enjoy him, probably just stay away. However, Love is quirky and probably one of the more true to life shows I've seen in a while. I don't want to say too much about this one except that I think it's down to earth and I like that it doesn't rush itself. You might find that you want more from it...and isn't that the thing about love...? I gave it a 7 on IMDB.

3. The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story- Every time I bring this up, someone says, "I don't have to watch it, I lived it." Yeah yeah. Sure. But set your cynicism and ego aside and see what you can learn over 20 years after we all watched the famous Bronco chase down the freeway. Hindsight is everything, and Ryan Murphy (Glee/American Horror Story) brought his A-Game to the table for this show. In fact, it just received 22 Emmy nominations right behind Game of Thrones. I actually have one of my classes watching the show and doing a weekly analysis of the cultural contents then compared to today, along with an exploration of argument philosophies used throughout the case. The class as decided that sadly, not much has changed in 20 years. But amazingly, the show provides some context for the world we are living in and how we got here. The acting is superb. It's like watching a very well-crafted train wreck where you already know the outcome, but cannot look away. I  have actually watched the 10 episodes 4 times now, and I am enthralled each time. I gave this a 10 on IMDB.

4. Chelsea-Over the last decade I have slowly grown to love Chelsea Handler. I thought she was a little too "out there" for me at first, but then I realized, that her persona is not a character she's working, it's just who she is. (Insert comments about my naivety here, but I stand by this statement). And I do respect authenticity. Chelsea is a representation of the progression of women in comedy. Gone are the days of Carol Burnett's slapstick and Ellen's stand up. Even Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are by most standards rule followers, toeing the line, but always knowing where the line is. Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler have no idea where the line is and they honestly don't care. And it infuriates most people. Women have basically stopped playing by the rules and it's pissing people (mostly men) off. If you don't believe me, just read the comments from men about the new Ghostbusters movie, they are so scared we are going to take over! And Chelsea just might do that. Her show is on Netflix with a new episode released weekly. It's raw and funny and insightful and intriguing. Each episode is stand alone and introduces a new topic that she wants to learn about. The learning is not thorough, but that's by design. It's a short show and we have short attention spans. While the media continues to insult Chelsea, she has no problem surrounding herself with celebrity friends and other people who will gladly give her 10 minutes to discuss whatever thing she's exploring. She loves sex and alcohol and hates Trump. But there's a lot she doesn't understand, and that is what this show is about. Enlightenment. I gave this show an 8 on IMDB.

READ

2014 was Gone Girl, 2015 was The Girl on the Train, now this. Writers, you know what to do!

5. The Girls by Emma Cline-My friend Joni spotted this title in a Good Housekeeping magazine back in May and texted that we should read it, I pre-ordered it that day. It released on June 14th and has been dubbed the book of the summer. Last I checked it was #3 on the Hardcover Fiction NYT Bestsellers. I read this in 5 hours. I could not put it down. It's beautifully written about a period of time I dream of often: Northern California in the late 1960's. It follows 14 year old Evie who finds herself in the midst of changes in her own life, which makes her perfectly ripe for falling into a new group of friends and their leader, Russell. As the book goes on, the reader realizes that the story is reminiscent of the Manson "family". Emma Cline is 27 and this is her first book. The way she explores the relationship between girls and their need for acceptance from others is so hard to read because every woman has been there at some point in their lives. It's a beautifully haunting book that enters into terrifying territory through a simple relationship, reminding the reader that anyone could be one friendship away from danger. I gave it a 5 on Goodreads.

6. All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister-I am slowly reading my way through this epic nonfiction work by Traister, a New York Magazine contributor. I heard about it on one of my favorite podcasts, "Call Your Girlfriend." The podcast had a meet-up in San Francisco, and Traister was there reading live from her book. The passages she read were addictive, discussing the way women are fulfilled in life, and the need to stop comparing our lives to what we are told they should be. When she stopped reading, I wanted more. I started reading this about a month ago, and it's a lot to wade through. Every single world is measured so carefully and is so validating that each chapter is like digesting a huge steak. It takes time to process and understand. It's also a little infuriating. The way that women have been set up to fail from the start of our country is damning to the fundamentals of Christianity as well as the ideals of equality and freedom that the USA so loves to claim and cling to. But the beauty of the book is that Traister is not mad. She's a reporter, and as I tell my students all the time, if you have good research, you can let the research speak for itself. Perhaps the most important thing the book offers is that there is no one right way to be a woman. The average age of marriage for women is up to 29 now and climbing. There are more single women than ever in our country, and that number is climbing too. Traister's book allows women to look past the assigned checklist of life (College, Job, Marriage, House, Babies) and validates that there are millions of us doing it a little differently. As a single 37 year old who loves to hang out with friends and travel, Traister's book is giving me permission to be happy now in this life rather than hoping any day now when I start my checklist, my happiness will begin. It should be noted that Traister is not anti-marriage (she is married, herself), nor is she anti-male. She's just pro-woman, and that's great to read. I gave it a 5 on Goodreads.

7. Jasmine by Bharati Mukerjee- I actually chose this book for one of my classes, but as I read it, it spoke to me more deeply than just another supplemental text for a class. While I do think the book starts out a little slow, once the reader starts to find out about the journey Jasmine has been on from her home country of India to her current place in life, Iowa, I couldn't put it down. It's a fiction book, but could easily be the story of any person coming to America for the first time. Aside from a good narrative, the book offers subtle commentary on what it means to inundate oneself to the American way of life, as well as the parts of humanity that are not dictated by birth or border. I was pleasantly surprised with it and found myself crying as I turned the last pages. I gave it a 4 on Goodreads.

LISTEN

Who tells your story?

8. Hamilton: An American Musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda-You'd have to be living under a rock to have managed to miss the hype surrounding Hamilton, but I'm gonna just go ahead and jump right on that bandwagon now. I purchased the full recording about 10 days before the Tony's, and I am so glad I did. I haven't stopped listening yet. I have always been amazed by people who not only write music, but write incredible lyrics, and actually twist all of that into a story. Add another layer to this production, because it's not a story Miranda could make up from scratch, he had to commit to the (mostly) true history of Alexander Hamilton's life. Sheer brilliance. It's as timely as it is inspirational, and it's damn catchy too. In case you were thinking that maybe it's been oversold, I'm here to tell you, the hype is legit. Go listen now!

9. Lemonade by Beyonce- I should be clear, I'm referring to her music in this entry, not the visual album. So, I've been meaning to blog an entire blog on this, but I've decided to fit it into this one instead. I will admit that while I respect the influence Beyonce has had on the world, I have not been a big fan of her music in the last decade. But when Lemonade dropped, I picked it up to try again. Especially with all of the rumors circulating and cultural references being made--I am nothing if I'm not a fan of connectivity in the world. I had this on repeat for about a month after I listened. The album is a reminder that Beyonce doesn't have to grunt, whisper, or repeat herself to make music, she can really sing. It's a diverse album with a lot of unpredictable style and varied tracks on it, and it offers an empowering message. It's not Katy Perry's Roar or Sara Bareilles' Brave, which seek to build you up, Beyonce's message is more about breaking you out. I know there are rumors that the implication of Jay-Z cheating on her was a publicity stunt for selling the album, and if that's the case, I have to say Beyonce is taking a risk that no one has come close to taking with their stardom so far; deliberately spitting in the face of her fans to see if they will ride the rollercoaster with her. And most likely, they will. I'm afraid I would have to get off of that ride if that proves to be the case. There's a line between marketing strategies and blatantly lying to people to make money, and Beyonce is in a unique position to influence for good. But my gut (remember, we've already established that I'm naive) says that the time and heart Beyonce put into this album come from a real and raw place, which is what ultimately makes it so appealing and enjoyable. Anyone can be drunk in love, but it takes investment to offer a real piece of yourself to your fans.

10. Tell Me I'm Fat by This American Life- I listen to TAL weekly as a podcast on my drive to work, but this episode (#589) had me listening to it three times, jotting down names of books and people mentioned as I replayed it each time. As our culture begins to move into a more accepting place regarding what a body should look like, it's discussions like the one in this episode that will eventually move us to total change. Listening to a fat girl talk about coming out as fat, sharing the problems with finding clothing, and revealing that she is at her happiest, her most confident, is vital in a nation where the average woman is a size 14. On the other hand the podcast reveals the doubts of a woman who has recently lost over 100 pounds and finds herself married to someone who would not have loved her if she had not been skinny, forcing her to question everything. As a fat woman, I have spent too many years hating and shaming myself in this skin. I want to be healthy and strong, and I am. I am probably the most confident I have ever been, and I have no intention of altering my body in dangerous ways or never eating cake again just so other people might be more comfortable when they look at my skin. This episode is validating but challenging too, and incredibly painful to hear during some sections.

What are you watching/reading/listening to this summer!?

Why I Cry When Music Idols Die

It started back in January. I rolled over to the sound of the buzzing alarm on my phone and searched for the snooze button. I am not a snoozer really, but I will allow myself those 9 minutes between the initial waking and the getting out of bed to quickly look at what I've missed in the world while I was asleep. I pulled up Facebook first and clicked over to the trending topics. Personal notifications are like candy...they are the people I know saying something I care about, liking or commenting on my links and pictures, they're the dessert. But the trending topics must come first. I need to know if it's worth it to get out of bed each day. I always look at the trending topics and think, maybe today is the day the giant Interstellar wave or Melancholia is going to destroy earth. If that's the case, I have bourbon to drink and people to call. Teaching is not an option on a day like that. Trending topics tell me what I have missed that our society has decided matters. And so on this particular day when I clicked over to see the stats on the latest mass shooting, or what Kardashian was in the news, I never expected to see that David Bowie had died.

I felt my eyes well up immediately. I thought about my cousin who introduced me to Bowie when we were children. My 36 years flashed before my eyes and I saw myself as a child watching Labyrinth, driving along in my rusty Datsun as a teenager with Heroes blasting, and more recently, celebrating his music in some of my favorite movies and television shows of the last few decades, The Wedding Singer, Moulin Rouge, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, and American Horror Story just to name a few. Even though I was born in 1979 and missed several of Bowie's more celebrated phases, his music was still working its way through my life in 2016.

My 9 minutes were up, and though the world wasn't ending with some massive wave or planet crashing into Earth, the news of Bowie's death felt just as devastating and final as any of those apocalyptic situations might.

I showered, got ready, and drove my hour commute while singing Heroes through uncontrollable sobs, the entire way. My mom was in town, and that night we watched as tribute was paid. I'm crying now just thinking of it.

Last week was no different. When the news of Prince's death made its way to me (this time via text), I cried. I cried so hard. I was so grumpy and mad at the injustice of it, though death shows no prejudice. I flashed back to all the upbeat pop songs I enjoyed in my childhood, the way Prince was clearly doing a "new" thing in regards to perception, fashion, branding, and from what I could tell in my limited teen knowledge of these things, he even seemed to be playing with gender and sexuality in a way that made him almost impossible to label. But it didn't matter that no one could label him, because everyone loved his music. I have spent the weekend discussing Prince with my friends, most of whom are older than me, and they were as devastated by his passing as I was. Shocked, sad, and yet, we were all so confused as to why this matters to us in ways that make us feel grief so big and real.

So I thought about it, and here are a few of my theories:

1. Nostalgia.-These artists take us back to a time when life was not as hard or complicated. Innocence was in tact, mistakes had yet to be made. I didn't have many regrets as an 8 year old, and not even as an 18 year old. We were more carefree than we are now. And not just because of age, but because the world was different. Not to say that it was better, it was just so different and given that all change is perceived as loss, it only makes sense that we would long for those years of simplicity. It's the curse of humanity...it's what Gatsby is about. It's what everything is about. Almost all of us want to go back in time to relive, change, or simply just relish in a moment. Music transports us to those times, and we are able to almost feel the same feelings that we once felt. Unburdened and pure.

2. Music is not what it once was.-This is not to say that all music today sucks. I want to be clear on that. However, with technologies like autotune and apps that play the guitar for you, it's easier than ever to produce music. But make no mistake, it is a production. It's not always art, it's lights and choreography, and sometimes it's barely music. Bowie and Prince (among others of that time) had to be all in. They were pursuing their dreams, not dabbling on the side hoping for YouTube views and Facebook likes. They had to learn to play instruments, and usually taught themselves. They had to write music and constantly reinvent themselves along with the culture. Marketing today is easier than ever with social media. Everyone has their 15 minutes of fame, but these musicians worked hard for it. And they were and remain impressive. A few years ago I heard Fleetwood Mac perform and it was truly a performance. They played for almost 4 hours straight, despite being in their 70's, and didn't miss a note. This is in great contrast with Justin Bieber who performed 6 songs and an encore in Fresno a few weeks ago. Fleetwood Mac told stories of sharing one room and a queen sized mattress between the 5 of them and hoping that Stevie's mom would send some cash soon so they could eat. They lived and breathed music and not because it made them money, but because it was their calling. It was art, and art is worth the risk. It's worth the sacrifice. Like I said before, I'm not opposed to music of today. I love some of the up and coming singers like James Bay, Matt Simons, and that Zayn song Pillowtalk is downright catchy.  I am so ready (and a little scared) to hear Beyonce's Lemonade in its entirety. But let's be real...Art paves the way for art. And without Liberace, Bowie, and Prince, there would be no Lady Gaga. One day we will see who Gaga is paving the way for, but it will only be a re-invention, a revamping of what has come before, which is completely expected and wonderful. We can celebrate the revision, but we should honor the foundation.

Lady Gaga's honored Bowie, and also wrote a nice tribute to Prince. She gets it.

3. We are all feeling something together.-My good friend profoundly shared this sentiment with me last week when I posed the question to her about why I cried over Prince, and she is spot on. In no way is Prince's death on par with 9/11 in terms of tragedy, nor would I compare it to other things I have grieved in my life. But the unity of sadness that stretches across our nation and even world in times like these is undeniable. We are all reminiscing, we are all singing in unison. The technology of our day is even participating. Google and Snapchat responded with Purple Rain filters and images. Weather channels changed their graphic colors from green rain to purple for the day. Prince's 2007 Super Bowl performance went viral...again. iTunes moved his music and movies to their front pages because of the onslaught of purchases. We united in grieving together. And while it would be nice if we could find a way to do this on the daily for refugees, the poor, and the persecuted in our world...this feels like a start. For a few hours, billions of people were having a political/agenda-free shared experience, connecting over music and memories. And honestly, I think that is something we all crave more than we can bring ourselves to admit.

As Prince said, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." I think the implication of these words are that we get through it, together.