Why I Cry When Music Idols Die

It started back in January. I rolled over to the sound of the buzzing alarm on my phone and searched for the snooze button. I am not a snoozer really, but I will allow myself those 9 minutes between the initial waking and the getting out of bed to quickly look at what I've missed in the world while I was asleep. I pulled up Facebook first and clicked over to the trending topics. Personal notifications are like candy...they are the people I know saying something I care about, liking or commenting on my links and pictures, they're the dessert. But the trending topics must come first. I need to know if it's worth it to get out of bed each day. I always look at the trending topics and think, maybe today is the day the giant Interstellar wave or Melancholia is going to destroy earth. If that's the case, I have bourbon to drink and people to call. Teaching is not an option on a day like that. Trending topics tell me what I have missed that our society has decided matters. And so on this particular day when I clicked over to see the stats on the latest mass shooting, or what Kardashian was in the news, I never expected to see that David Bowie had died.

I felt my eyes well up immediately. I thought about my cousin who introduced me to Bowie when we were children. My 36 years flashed before my eyes and I saw myself as a child watching Labyrinth, driving along in my rusty Datsun as a teenager with Heroes blasting, and more recently, celebrating his music in some of my favorite movies and television shows of the last few decades, The Wedding Singer, Moulin Rouge, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, and American Horror Story just to name a few. Even though I was born in 1979 and missed several of Bowie's more celebrated phases, his music was still working its way through my life in 2016.

My 9 minutes were up, and though the world wasn't ending with some massive wave or planet crashing into Earth, the news of Bowie's death felt just as devastating and final as any of those apocalyptic situations might.

I showered, got ready, and drove my hour commute while singing Heroes through uncontrollable sobs, the entire way. My mom was in town, and that night we watched as tribute was paid. I'm crying now just thinking of it.

Last week was no different. When the news of Prince's death made its way to me (this time via text), I cried. I cried so hard. I was so grumpy and mad at the injustice of it, though death shows no prejudice. I flashed back to all the upbeat pop songs I enjoyed in my childhood, the way Prince was clearly doing a "new" thing in regards to perception, fashion, branding, and from what I could tell in my limited teen knowledge of these things, he even seemed to be playing with gender and sexuality in a way that made him almost impossible to label. But it didn't matter that no one could label him, because everyone loved his music. I have spent the weekend discussing Prince with my friends, most of whom are older than me, and they were as devastated by his passing as I was. Shocked, sad, and yet, we were all so confused as to why this matters to us in ways that make us feel grief so big and real.

So I thought about it, and here are a few of my theories:

1. Nostalgia.-These artists take us back to a time when life was not as hard or complicated. Innocence was in tact, mistakes had yet to be made. I didn't have many regrets as an 8 year old, and not even as an 18 year old. We were more carefree than we are now. And not just because of age, but because the world was different. Not to say that it was better, it was just so different and given that all change is perceived as loss, it only makes sense that we would long for those years of simplicity. It's the curse of humanity...it's what Gatsby is about. It's what everything is about. Almost all of us want to go back in time to relive, change, or simply just relish in a moment. Music transports us to those times, and we are able to almost feel the same feelings that we once felt. Unburdened and pure.

2. Music is not what it once was.-This is not to say that all music today sucks. I want to be clear on that. However, with technologies like autotune and apps that play the guitar for you, it's easier than ever to produce music. But make no mistake, it is a production. It's not always art, it's lights and choreography, and sometimes it's barely music. Bowie and Prince (among others of that time) had to be all in. They were pursuing their dreams, not dabbling on the side hoping for YouTube views and Facebook likes. They had to learn to play instruments, and usually taught themselves. They had to write music and constantly reinvent themselves along with the culture. Marketing today is easier than ever with social media. Everyone has their 15 minutes of fame, but these musicians worked hard for it. And they were and remain impressive. A few years ago I heard Fleetwood Mac perform and it was truly a performance. They played for almost 4 hours straight, despite being in their 70's, and didn't miss a note. This is in great contrast with Justin Bieber who performed 6 songs and an encore in Fresno a few weeks ago. Fleetwood Mac told stories of sharing one room and a queen sized mattress between the 5 of them and hoping that Stevie's mom would send some cash soon so they could eat. They lived and breathed music and not because it made them money, but because it was their calling. It was art, and art is worth the risk. It's worth the sacrifice. Like I said before, I'm not opposed to music of today. I love some of the up and coming singers like James Bay, Matt Simons, and that Zayn song Pillowtalk is downright catchy.  I am so ready (and a little scared) to hear Beyonce's Lemonade in its entirety. But let's be real...Art paves the way for art. And without Liberace, Bowie, and Prince, there would be no Lady Gaga. One day we will see who Gaga is paving the way for, but it will only be a re-invention, a revamping of what has come before, which is completely expected and wonderful. We can celebrate the revision, but we should honor the foundation.

Lady Gaga's honored Bowie, and also wrote a nice tribute to Prince. She gets it.

3. We are all feeling something together.-My good friend profoundly shared this sentiment with me last week when I posed the question to her about why I cried over Prince, and she is spot on. In no way is Prince's death on par with 9/11 in terms of tragedy, nor would I compare it to other things I have grieved in my life. But the unity of sadness that stretches across our nation and even world in times like these is undeniable. We are all reminiscing, we are all singing in unison. The technology of our day is even participating. Google and Snapchat responded with Purple Rain filters and images. Weather channels changed their graphic colors from green rain to purple for the day. Prince's 2007 Super Bowl performance went viral...again. iTunes moved his music and movies to their front pages because of the onslaught of purchases. We united in grieving together. And while it would be nice if we could find a way to do this on the daily for refugees, the poor, and the persecuted in our world...this feels like a start. For a few hours, billions of people were having a political/agenda-free shared experience, connecting over music and memories. And honestly, I think that is something we all crave more than we can bring ourselves to admit.

As Prince said, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." I think the implication of these words are that we get through it, together.