Girls

I just finished watching Girls! I might be a little late to the game on this one, but is that really a thing anymore with the ability to stream almost anything we want to whenever we want to? Anyway, I might have missed the timeliness of Girls, but the brilliance of it is not lost on me.

Let me preface this by saying, Lena Dunham's polarizing and at times ridiculous statements have never super impressed me, but I have always been intrigued by her. As a wannabe writer and TV fanatic, I just can't look away. In 2013, a friend of mine suggested that I watch the show, but I resisted, mostly due to lack of access at the time, and a growing unwillingness to watch any series that isn't fully complete. (Something I will definitely blog more about soon.) Last week, I was looking for something to clear my palette from the cerebral fiasco that is Westworld, and I remembered the recommendation from so many years ago...Girls.

In the beginning, I felt old. I definitely found myself relating more to Hannah's parents in the pilot as they cut her off financially 2 years after she graduated from college. I wasn't sure I would be able to move out of my "college instructor" mentality and truly appreciate the show for what it is. I mean, everything concerning the set-up of the show is pretty much the opposite of my experience. For example, I'm 39 now and was 25 in 2004. These girls are 25 in 2014. I grew up in the South and now live in California, Girls takes place in NYC. The characters seem to have an endless supply of money, I...never have and don't expect to any time soon. And while these girls are experiencing all the developmentally normal adventures of being twenty-something, I was working as a Children's Minister in a Southern Baptist Church when I was their age. The similarities do not abound. Still, it didn't take long until I found myself yelling out all-in cheers of support at the TV, "YASSSSSS" as the Girls navigate their way through early adulthood. I might not have been who they are at 25, but I found myself rooting for them as I watched. I can't relate to most of their behaviors, the setting, or pretty much any of the other trappings of the show...but who among us can't relate to fears about having to grow up.

Here's what I loved...

The Girls!
Early on, the 4 main characters seem to follow the basic conventions and narrow view of women presented in every show ever. There's Shoshanna, the naive virgin. Jessa, the hippie, free spirit. Marnie, the pretty one...no other description necessary. And Hannah the kinda pudgy, kinda weird, kinda nerdy, kinda funny girl. It only took a few episodes to realize that I'd been fooled...there is more than meets the eye with these characters. While there is no complete or cohesive back story on each one, we get enough of the puzzle pieces to know that there are layers and quirks in each of the characters, and underlying reasons for them. Shoshanna develops a "true north" personality, driven, independent and practical. Jessa turns out to be wounded, a little broken, and very sentimental. Marnie is also a rigid type A personality, who lacks self-awareness due to living in the "bubble" of her beauty which often leads her to embarrassing moments and failed relationships. They even show her on the toilet in multiple scenes, reminding you that even pretty girls poop. It's honestly, refreshing. Yeah, I said those two things beside each other. Since the story centers around Hannah primarily, her character is the most complex. Her development through the last season and into the series finale brings her to a fitting reality for a girl in her stage of life. The writing allows the characters to be more than meets the eye. I hated them all at some point, but each of them were my favorite too. The humanity of the show is where the hook is. No one is all good and no one is all bad. People aren't that simple. The show captures this concept perfectly.

The Friendships
I love the topic of friendship and could spend way too long on it, but what I enjoy about the friendships in the show is that it captures the flakiness of being a friend at that age. Trying to support others who are trying to figure themselves out, while trying to figure yourself out too is a lot to take on...balls will be dropped in the process. It can end up looking like the blind leading the blind. These friends don't hesitate to make each other mad by saying what they need to say. They call each other out on bad decisions or when they feel judged, but there's also a really nice thread of support that connects the characters. They believe in each other and push each other to be their best. That's a great view of friendship.


It's Funny!
The show is surprisingly funny. It's not your average sit-com, and I would call it a dramedy, but the things that made me laugh, made me laugh out loud. It happens about two or three times an episode and it always catches me off guard. I am a total humor snob, but the humor in Girls worked for me.


Witty References
The show is damn clever with its references. I mean, there's a target audience for sure, but it's more accessible than I expected it to be. It made me feel smart when it referenced something I'd heard of...like I was totally "in the know" but it also made me feel dumb at times, or at least left out. New York is its own culture, and if you're not a part of it, you just have to kind of step back and let it be. Not everything is for everyone, and that's okay.


The Boys!
I don't love that a show called Girls, also happens to revolve around the same 4 or 5 boys, but at least the guys are interesting characters too. They are sensitive but oblivious, awkward in their man-child skins, trying to keep up emotionally, but also tired of being in their heads. Many of them are just playing at manhood, not sure they are ready to fully commit to all that it means....which is a parallel journey to the girls in the show. I recently tried to watch Felicity, so I had my fears that the focus of the show would end up being the boys, but they find a good balance and I ended up really enjoying the evolution of a few of the men throughout the series.

But the boys also bring me to my first point of criticism of the show...I really did get tired of the same few guys rotating around the girls. I understand the powerful concept of attachment which often keeps people in bad relationships, but it was frustrating to see all the revisiting of the exes and trading of partners happening within this small group of friends. The characters live in New York and are involved and connected girls. I don't know if they would all hover around the same guys consistently, especially with the kind of drama between them that manifests as the show goes on. The only way I can really excuse this is that it's showing how hard it is to move past that first real romance. The one that you mess up because of timing, of being in different places in life, the one you'll never replicate, but always look for. Leaving allowance for that and the logistics of casting new people of course....

Another thing to note is that the show definitely has an elitist view. It's not on a Gossip Girl level of oblivion to how "the rest of us" live, but it's definitely not exploring the various socio-economic classes. Writers are told to write what they know, so in that way, I appreciate that Dunham isn't reaching into some world that she doesn't belong to. She was born to artist parents in NYC and is related to the Tiffany family. The show leans into the lives of the privileged, the educated, city-dwellers, and liberal hipsters. And yet, it's not really as pretentious as it seems like it might be. I didn't get too caught up in all of that because it was just a setting for these characters to exist in. And while the elitism has definitely shaped them and their perspectives, ultimately those things fade to the background and the characters become all that matter. The writers cover themselves very well to make sure it doesn't take on a tone of condescension. The characters don't take themselves too seriously, but instead, they turn moments in the show that would normally be obnoxious and out of touch into perfect doses of satire...playing up and exaggerating the details to serve as a reassuring wink of acknowledgment to the audience, reassuring us "yeah, don't worry...we know this isn't how everyone else lives."

I think my favorite thing about the show is the portrayal of the constant battle that most women face between total insecurity and projecting confidence. As a watcher of the show, you get to see the girls at their weakest, at their most insecure. You get to see the vulnerable moments even if the characters aren't sharing them with anyone else. And yet, these pits of despair they each trip into are punctuated by moments where the girls hold their own. They are confident, articulate, and mostly unwavering on their opinions. They are strong, to the point where they almost lose self-awareness about how they are affecting a situation. They end up in over their heads, at times displaying a disproportionate amount of confidence for what they actually bring to the table, and embracing the inevitable narcissism of the millennial generation (a favorite theme of mine from the show). These insecure and vulnerable moments feel true to the characters and true to what we know about young women and the demons they face.

This is nothing new to TV. Women are often portrayed as emotional wrecks. The difference with Girls is that where past generations would apologize or cower, backing off their strength for fear of losing something...a job, a boyfriend, an opportunity, or a preferred place in society, the characters in Girls pull out their confidence reserves and blast right through, refusing to be a passenger through life. They act on their convictions and stick to their opinions, as flawed as they may be, to the point of making situations awkward and people around them uncomfortable. And yet these are the best parts of the show. These are the parts of the show that reach through the screen to remind the audience that women aren't playing by the same rules anymore. And THAT is what had me screaming "YASSSSSS" at the TV. I found myself in awe and envy over the courage that comes with youth, and hopeful that maybe this show has influenced a generation of women who won't make themselves small, the way that so many women before them, have.