Impending Doom

If you know me at all or have read this blog for any amount of time, you know I love scary movies. I love disaster movies. I love movies about zombies, vampires, disease, anything dystopian, anything superhero. There's one thing all of these movies have in common, and it's my favorite part of any movie with any of these themes. I don't have a specific term for it, and I refuse to Google and find out if there is a word for it already because I don't want to have it ruined or over explained for me. Maybe it's the "turn" or the "change" or the "build." I don't know. It doesn't matter.

What a cute baby DINOSAUR...I wonder if he will try to eat us.

What matters is that I love the moments in the movie before we end up in the new reality. I love when Peter Parker gets bitten by the spider and we see the inner workings of that venom. I love the first clues that people are becoming zombies. The moment the "little girl" is in the hallway and you realize she is not a little girl anymore. The rising tides and raging fires that start to threaten life as we know it. The shot of the spaceship/meteor/planet as it approaches earth and the scientist are just beginning to discuss the probability of it hitting. The tension of knowing that "life will find a way." The horror in those dreams before you realize that Freddy can only hurt you while you are sleeping. And though it would traumatize my dear friend Holly to know this...I even love the moments between Ursula and Ariel.
There is something about the impending doom that I love more than the actual doom. (I guess this would explain why I enjoyed Melancholia so much!)

I love a good earth from space shot...especially with a large smoking rock in it.

Once the doom (whatever it might be) actually hits in full force, the characters have adapted. They know that to kill a zombie you have to "double tap" it, or to use the new superpower you have to turn your wrist a certain way. But before that, the characters are thrown off. They are wobbly and carelessly experimental. They are unsure of themselves and desperate. They lose dignity and do things that they would never normally do. There is no polished response in those first moments of coming crisis. Only fear and confusion. The best and worst of humanity is represented as people on the screen help their fellow humans or just throw them out of the boat to create more room for themselves.

She was just this.

The great thing about these impending doom moments is that you get to live in both worlds. I mean, uh...you get to see the characters live in both worlds. There is that "life as we have always known it" world fighting it's way through, but everything around them, everything they have known, is changing and becoming something new, and most of the time, becoming something tragic. It's the calm before the storm.

Then this happened. (The Impending Doom moment.)

Yesterday was the 7 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I have friends who were there for the storm, friends who left, and friends who had to deal with the aftermath. As Isaac landed yesterday, I saw the tension on Facebook. The excitement of preparing for the tragedy that might occur, while clinging to the hope that things will be fine.

And then she became this.

We love the agony and the ecstasy. Without those moments of uncertainty and chaos, we wouldn't recognize the resolution.

I've given a variety of references here to a variety of genres and impending doom moments. But here are a few of my very favorite movies that nail the build up before all hell breaks loose.







1. Jurassic Park-Life Will Find A Way.
2. Titanic-I mean, the title alone let's you know what's coming. You gotta admit, that from the moment you hear "Iceberg ahead!" It's a wild ride!
3. Cloverfield-Who knew a monster movie could be done so well!
4. X-Men (Any of them)-It's just fun watching all of the various characters learn and finesse their "powers." And the X-Men movies have so many characters it's extra fun.
5. The Towering Inferno-This movie is responsible for my fear of fire, and justifiably so.
6. Die Hard-This entire movie is one big action packed build up to the confrontation between the terrorists and Bruce Willis.
7. Melancholia-I've discussed this one before, but the entire movie is impending doom.
8. Speed-That forever long repetitive shot of the elevator shaft during the opening credits with the haunting music is actually a really classic way to prepare you for what's ahead.
9. We Need To Talk About Kevin-Great writing. You know he needs to be discussed, but you only have clues as to why...
10. Unbreakable-Before M.Night was known for his twists, he did this movie and it is one of the best "superhero" movies out there. Not to mention, watching Willis and Jackson as they come to terms with each other is phenomenal.

What is your favorite movie that has a transition from life as it was to life as it will be? 

Pouring Salt in the Wound: All About Angelina

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog that I knew would be unpopular. It detailed my slightly negative perception of Jennifer Aniston and what I perceive to be her failures. You can read it here. My friend Julie wrote a nice rebuttal in defense of Aniston, and I enjoyed reading it because what she said was very true. Her rebuttal is here. 

But even with the opposing comments and rebuttal, I am still on Team Angelina. I hate to beat a dead horse, but I feel the need to explain my position. Feel free to disagree with me. I don't claim all of the following as fact, but just as my personal perception of her. I think this blog will explain why I like her, and maybe, it will soften your heart toward her too...

"Playing the villain baby, just like you want."

Angelina hit the scene about the time I graduated from high school. Her first substantial movie was Gia, which is an interesting choice for an up and coming actress. It set the stage for her to be taken seriously as an actress. I didn't see Gia until much later, but her follow up role was in Girl, Interrupted and I was hooked. Of course I loved the movie itself, but Jolie nailed the part of crazy. And she did it so well that I felt the envy, hatred, and intense love for her that Brittany Murphy and Winona Ryder also felt in the movie. Jolie stole the screen against some more recognized names. I cling to this part, as do many Angelina fans, because to play that kind of crazy, you have to be a little crazy. I will get back to the crazy in a minute...

So not too long after she started with the Laura Croft and detective/agent action packed movies, adding in a kids movie or drama here and there. So I admit, her resume isn't incredibly noteworthy. But in a time when it's a lot easier to be the cookie cutter rom/com actress, Jolie found her place. And that niche is accompanied by women like Halle Barry and Uma Thurman, whereas Aniston blends in with Katherine Heigl and...[insert generic straight haired female actress here.]

What mistakes did you make at 25?

Back to the crazy...the thing about Angelina's crazy is that it's not the typical brand of Hollywood crazy. While most celebrities can only get a little attention from overdoses and wild parties, Angelina took it up a few notches. Blood vials and incestuous kisses, not to mention that just being the daughter of the terrifying Jon Voight gives her an edge. Seriously, watch Anaconda, that man is scary. So rather than looking at her (during my college years) and thinking sarcastically...really...more drinking, that's impressive. I was genuinely intrigued by her. At one point she stopped acting to become a funeral director. This time of her life was marked by depression, cutting, and family turmoil. She has never hidden this or denied it, but rather admitted it and embraced it as what made her who she is today.

Best picture ever of Angelina.

The Brad Pitt stuff...yeah, it gets tricky. But as I said in my last blog about this...no one can be stolen unless they want to be stolen. And by the time Mr. And Mrs. Smith was being filmed, Angelina had already been named the world's most beautiful woman a few times. Supposedly he and Jenn were having some issues concerning kids. I mean...it was a perfect storm, and if anyone is to "blame" it's Brad. So that happened. And truthfully, at times, I feel like Brad is holding her back. But this is not a blog about him.

When I see this I get "It's a small world" stuck in my head.

Angelina's fame as the Tomb Raider launched her international success, which introduced her face to the world. This might seem a little ridiculous, but having lived in China this year, I can tell you that the few stars considered international really do have the attention of other countries. They pay attention to our celebrities, because if we're honest, that's really all America produces these days. Entertainment.

So when Jolie started to make the move from self-serving, crazy, actress to self-aware, stable, humanitarian, the world took notice. Her political and charitable involvement is smart, she knows how to lobby for her chosen causes in various countries rather than attempting to take on the entire system. She stays dedicated to those causes, most of which aid children and community development in underdeveloped environments. While some people criticize her for her adoptions and having 6 kids, I see this as her putting her money where her (yes, very large) mouth is, and her acting work has slightly slowed with each child allowing her more time to be a mother.

I think I saw this in a slideshow from a mission trip at church once.

Here's the rub for me when people talk about how they don't like Angelina. I have attended quite a bit of church in my life. And when someone comes in with this kind of "testimony" we Christians LOVE it. Objectively, it goes something like this: "In her younger days she was cutting, drinking, in the depth of depression, from a crazy family and now look at her! She's successful, a humanitarian. Using her money for good! And oh...those orphans have a home now!" Even secular culture loves seeing someone change for the better. It's why we still root for Lindsay Lohan! And honestly, there is no better story than that of Angelina's when it comes to being rehabilitated. But most people I know resent her for it. They hate her even. She is definitely polarizing. I make no claims that Jolie has found God...but I do believe she's cleaned up. She is focused. She tamed her crazy and channeled that blood vial passion into life-changing issues. She made her way in this world and now she makes a difference.

And also...she's sexy.

And maybe slightly ridiculous. ;)

Why It's NOT ALL McDonald's

Yesterday I posted a blog featuring Jim Gaffigan and his hilarious ode? tribute? rant? to/about McDonald's. If you didn't see it, go watch it.

In the video he makes claims that we all take part in some kind of "McDonald's" which basically means, we all do something, that isn't great for us, but just feeds this almost primal, definitely lazy part of ourselves. He included pop-culture in that statement. He specifically refers to watching Glee and says, "It's ALL McDonald's."

What do you get if you add Billions and Billions?
Fat.

As much as I laughed at the video, I kinda felt my feathers ruffle. I mean, here I am, with my own pop-culture centered blog, and he's saying it could be a waste of time...it's not good for you...it does nothing productive. And here's the thing...I know he's right. It really COULD ALL be McDonald's.

But I don't want it to be.

I want to write about fun things that happen in pop-culture, but I also want to connect them to things in real life that matter. I had a writing professor that once defined literature as "making meaning." This definition works for me because I think...anyone can tell a story, repeat the facts, or even make someone laugh. But can you make people relate? Can you compare the most mundane things to the most meaningful things? Can you find the common threads that run through all stories, all people, in all places, just because we are all human? That's really my goal with Weekend Fat.

I know a lot of the time I fall short of that. And I think that's ok. Like Gaffigan says, we all get and even "need" McDonald's days. But I do hope that more times than not, whatever gets written here at least makes people think, or engages people on a different level than the one that tells your brain to eat those cold limp fries.

It's ALL McDonald's

I love Jim Gaffigan. My friend Julie introduced me to him years ago, and he had me at his love for bacon. Here is he talking about McDonald's. At one point, he goes into how we all have our own versions of McDonald's. Including, pop-culture that really doesn't matter. (ie...this blog!) Do you agree with him? Are we just perpetuating a McDonald's mentality? Watch the video and let me know what you think. I will give you my thoughts soon. Click on this link if you can't see the video.

Miley's Hair Is....

My verdict is still out on the hair. 

But those eyebrows....ugh. 

If Robyn and Draco Malfoy had a baby...

So what do you think? 

Like it? Hate it? What does it say about her? 

Attention starved, mental breakdown, or is 19 the right age to do something crazy with your hair? 

Team Jennifer-A Rebuttal

The following is a response to my unpopular post last week entitled The Failures of Jennifer Aniston.


I've never really had to defend my choice of celebrity love. I just figured you love a celebrity or you don't. Very subjective. How can anyone define what it is that attracts people to others? But, since the great debate of the age seems like it will be Team Jennifer vs. Team Angelina, then I'll play. *To make very clear, I'm not going to speak on anyone "stealing" anyone else. Not at all. Moving on...

The Golden Couple. Damn, I want her arms.

Let's just start with Friends. It's pretty much where Jennifer started. So many folks will have a soft spot for Jennifer just because of Friends. I spent my high school and college careers with these people. So, I look very favorably on the whole thing. Really, my Thursday nights haven't been the same since Friends left. Thus, I own the entire series on DVD. Jennifer spent ten years of her life with one character. Out of all of the Friends characters, Rachel aged the best (Joey's stupidity didn't read well as he aged; Ross just got more annoying, Monica just got stranger, etc.). So call it good casting. Call it good writing. Rachel/Jennifer will be one and the same. I don't know that I could call it type casting really. TV actors have to embody their characters more so than film actors for the show to be good for ten seasons. Jon Hamm will always be Don Draper (thank God). Jeremy Piven will always be Ari Gold. I'm okay with Jennifer always being a little bit Rachel.

Kind of a hippie moment for them, but they match!

I really don't think that people are fair when they say Jennifer is a bad actor and can't do other types of roles. Let's be honest. Do we want to see Jen get uglied up for a role? Nope. Even while on Friends, I can only come up with 2 episodes where she was less than completely put together - The One Where It All Started (pilot - Rachel in a wedding dress drenched from rain) and The One With The Fake Party (where she ended up in her high school cheerleading uniform and a fat lip). We have done this to her. She played her role in The Breakup well because she could be beautiful and angry at the same time. No harm, no foul. Same goes for Rumor Has It. There will be no Charlize Theron/Monster transformations in Jennifer's career. And I think we all want it that way. I believe that Charlize is absolutely gorgeous and can do anything she wants. But, we have allowed ourselves to want Jennifer only in a certain way. And that doesn't include her being ugly (or, gosh, even messy) for a role. Was Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn ever criticized for this? I don't think so.

Stop with the leg! Brad, control your woman.

On to the whole Brad Pitt thing. Well, what can you say? I liked them together. Mostly because I like matching things (it's kind of weird actually) and I just thought they matched. Golden colored hair. Tanned and toned. The cool, beachy thing totally working for them. I loved it. Yes. I am extremely superficial. I'd say that she hasn't been super discriminating in her choice of men since. I mean, if you start at the top, there isn't anywhere else to go but down (in the looks department). But, who hasn't made some mistakes with men? Let her live her life. At least she hasn't dived into the weird category (more on that later).

So, since we've made it to Brad Pitt, let's start comparing Jennifer to Angelina.

Acting: Jennifer - sometimes there is only so much you can do as an actor in terms of your career. Hollywood is a fickle beast. Tom Cruise will always be a cocky jack-ass role. Jennifer, the pretty girl. And you are comparing this to Angelina's... what?... Tomb Raider series? No thanks. I say, Jennifer's being darn smart by taking all her type casting straight to the bank. How many older female actors have complained about the lack of roles? Jen's crossed the 40-year-old mark. She's got to play it super smart. Make her cash now. Then, she can do whatever she wants.

How to have fun on the red carpet!

Sexiness: I am always confused at the folks who claim Angelina is the sexiest thing ever. How so? Because she gives off the dirty girl vibe? Well. You can have that. Angelina is weird. Weird, weird, weird. Vials of Billy Bob's blood? Making out with him on red carpets? Kissing her brother? She's just strange. And that doesn't equal sexy in my book. I like Jennifer's personal style. Or, her stylist's choice for her personal style. She just looks so relaxed in her clothes. And, she smiles!!! Every red carpet she does, she's smiling. Angelina always looks uptight or has decided that she's only there to put on a show. Who poses like that with their nasty skinny leg hanging out of their dress at the Oscars? A weirdo, that's who. And, would it kill her to take a red carpet photo looking slightly more animated than a wax figure? Jennifer has always seemed like someone I'd love to hang out with. Just cool. It's like she knows the whole scene is over-blown and ridiculous. So, bring it down a notch. Even when you compare photos of them on a regular day. I pick Jennifer. And, I've always heard that men like it when women aren't all done up. They like the relaxed, albeit clean and put together, look. Jen wins.

How to hate the red carpet.

One thing I particularly appreciate about Jennifer is that she seems to be living her life on her terms. She doesn't splash her life all over the place. She isn't trying to be someone she isn't (in real life - not on a set...ha!). Angelina always comes off as trying too hard for my taste. Okay, we get it. You want to be known as a decent person. One adoption would have been plenty to make that point. Stop throwing it in everyone's face. I appreciate those that help others behind the scenes. Or, maybe taking on causes that aren't so high profile. Who's to say what charity work is better than others? Basically, Angelina is an over achieving B. Calm down and don't take yourself so seriously!

Therefore, I love Jennifer Aniston. Always have. Always will.

P.S. I take issue with the fact that Angelina is pictured first on a post focusing on Jennifer. ;)


(Julie, 30, lives in Auburn, Ala. and balances her serious and superficial sides by being a self-employed wedding planner and amateur style/celebrity critic. Some of her current goals include: be a reoccurring guest on The Real Housewives of Atlanta (preferably as Nene's bestie); become best friends with Martha Stewart; actually become Kate Middleton. You can keep up with her views on weddings on her blog www.invevents.com.)

A Prideful Letter Of Persuasion Against Unmerited Prejudice

My dear Ms. Weekend Fat,

You must pardon my affrontery, my friend, and allow me to refute your shocking censure of historically-set cinema. Your claims, however strongly felt, are contrary to every feeling on the subject. Your disdain for those of us who enjoy watching "women in binding clothing" shows a lack of taste I have not met with in all my days. What words can be spoken against a man with longish hair sporting a high collar and cravat, I ask you? What manner of woman feels nothing for another who is prevented from loving someone not of her station? Amber, where is your heart? I will now endeavor to address the offenses you laid against period cinema: The Four Feathers had many a handsome man in their regimentals, therefore you can not complain about any other vice the movie may have contained.  Master. Simply because you lack the education to distinguish a butler from his master does not mean this skill cannot be learnt. You are a woman of education and have improved your mind with much reading. All the anger notwithstanding, exert yourself my friend or simply watch alongside myself for clearer understanding. Or text me.  Butler. Clueless is a most worthy adaptation to be sure, but it does not prevent me from enjoying the sight of Jeremy Northam in a cravat in its counterpart, the movie Emma. If you desire to find something amiss, hate with me if you will, the simpering face, painfully tight hair, and fake accent of Gwyneth Paltrow. goop indeed! Your assertion that Kiera Knightley and Anne Hathaway are interchangeable is a scandalous falsehood! Don't be daft! Other than wearing a very bad wig, Kiera is a very fine Elizabeth Bennet. She is made even finer by the work of Joe Wright and the amazing acting of Matthew MacFayden. I will speak no more about Miss Hathaway for we have discussed her previously, and at a greater length than she deserves. As for your admiration of Sense and Sensibility, this shows me that you have not lost both yourself. You are to be commended. Only your great taste in other fine areas of art and culture could release you from saying you cannot abide Emma Thompson. And Colin Firth and Hugh Grant as well? You are devoid of every proper feeling. Just sayin'.  I must allow that your love for Helen Mirren does speak of some spark of feeling. For a woman with liberal notions such as yourself, your acceptance of her as Ayn Rand shows a warmth of affection that is generally pleasing.  Have you lost your senses woman? Of all the Bronte works, to accept the one that is so affected, so altogether immoral and displeasing as Wuthering Heights? This is not to be borne! As for Mr. Pitt, do not speak his name to me again for I have declared my strong opinion of his bafoonery in the comments of your blog entitled The Failures of Jennifer Anniston.  As for stories, I daresay there is not one more beloved story than Pride and Prejudice. It has recommended itself to every generation for nigh on two centuries. If you would but read it! (Note to self:start pinning for a bicentennial party next year). Cravat. I know not how seeing Alan Rickman as Snape would have tainted my love for him as Colonel Brandon. Thankfully,his performance as Colonel Brandon preceded his Harry Potter tenure. I do know that not even the sight of him as Sheriff of Nottingham alongside Kevin Costner, a man with not so much as an accent never mind a cravat, did not sway me in the least. A cravat goes a long way my friend.  If you can view Amadeus with no objection, you must surely find regard for these aforementioned stories. If you can find your way to overlooking powdered wigs of a most ridiculous nature, then you will surely flow with approbation of such movies as other women find exceedingly divertive. (That means you will like them soon.) I beg leave to ask that you recommend me fondly to your readers. I thank you most prodigiously for the opportunity.  Warmest regards,  RB (Romelle Blanton is a hippie homeschooling mom, the blight of her normal neighborhood, and a fan of cravats. She is mother to 2 adults, 4 children, and is happily married...annoyingly so. You can read more from her on her blog, Raising His Child.)

The Importance of Being...Honest

I've never told you this before. In fact, some of you who know me well don't even know this about me. I mean, you might know my deepest darkest secrets, and you don't even know what I am about to confess here on this public forum. I know this will devastate some of you. My friend Amy might feel as though she's been lied to for over 20 year of our friendship. (I'm so sorry Amy...I promise I have no more secrets left after I tell this one!)  My friend RB who has used her powers of persuasion to convince me to watch Downton Abbey will realize why it never seems to be a good time. And Julie and Sandi might understand why I can't love Game of Thrones, or The Tudors the way they do. And maybe it will finally explain why and even set me free, though I cannot BELIEVE I am about to admit this, to tell you that I have never read a Jane Austen book. NEVER. Not even one whole chapter.

You see...I loathe...I abhor...I hate...period pieces. Even that term, period movie. How gross...and talk about being so OBVIOUSLY made for women! Unacceptable!

Amy, I am sorry...I do not seek him everywhere! I do not!

I Googled "period piece" and the consensus is that the term is used to describe movies/tv/and other works that take place during a time period in history. Ok, that's pretty broad and so maybe I don't hate them all. I do love Braveheart, and I am a big Titanic fan. Both are considered period pieces.

My personal distaste for this type of movie is more specific, so let me try to define it. The general genre that I hate bounces around (but is NOT limited to) British Romantic Dramas and are usually adapted from books that I have never read but have told everyone I have and enjoyed. Always the women are wearing clothing that is restricting and almost always they are crying about a man that they saw once from a distance who is not in their acceptable social class. Elaborate costumes, thick and hard to understand accents, too many characters introduced too fast with long last names but no defining characteristics up front turn me off of a movie almost instantly. And usually they begin with a tragedy and end up in romance, because love conquers all? "Our father died but at least we got married!"

I would be angry too if I had to wear 13 items of clothing with no A/C. 

There is no way I can give you an extensive history and explanation here that would begin to explain fully my feelings on these period movies. So instead I will just give you some statements that will give some samples and examples of my prejudice when it comes to this category, as well as a few notable exceptions.

• I thought I liked The Four Feathers, but then I realized I just liked Heath Ledger. 
• I tried to watch Downton Abbey, but once they stopped talking about the Titanic, I got bored and  plus, I couldn't even tell who was the butler and who was the patriarch. So much anger in that house (castle? abbey?).
• I appreciate the "adaptations" of these particular movies, but in most cases I haven't actually seen/read the originals: Clueless (Emma), O (Othello), Romeo and Juliet (The Leo and Claire version), 10 Things I Hate About You (The Taming of the Shrew), and Cruel Intentions (Dangerous Liasons) just to name a few.
• Any of these period pieces with Kiera Knightly and/or Anne Hathaway (who are practically the same person) is bound to piss me off. 
• Anything with Kate Winslet, I will give a fair chance. And Sense and Sensibility is perhaps one of my exceptions to my "rules." I adore that movie, but mainly because of the relationship between the sisters. 
• Fake accents drive me crazy, as do horse drawn carriages, servants, and taking a walk in the garden because what else are you gonna do?
• If I am flipping channels and see Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, or Hugh Grant, I usually go take a walk in the garden to avoid them. 
• On the other hand, Helen Mirren has my attention. Always...even as Ayn Rand.
• Wuthering Heights is acceptable because it is dark and brooding...as is Interview with a Vampire because...well, it has Brad Pitt in it and he's a vampire. 
• The story has to be a good one. The Secret Garden is example of an acceptable story.
• Since the Harry Potter movies gathered up almost all of the good British actors and actresses how could I ever watch Rowling's characters gaze longingly at each other in another movie?
• Amadeus is obviously absolved from any of the above crimes.

Just remember Kate, the accent, the bosom, and Austen are the Holy Money Trinity.

As you can see, there is no real rhyme or reason to what I like or don't like. I just know it when I see it...or don't see it. Maybe it sets off my feminist sensitivities to see a woman waking up when the sun rises, getting all dressed up, and then sitting around all day waiting on a man to visit her just so he can fall for her sister. I know, I know...there's more to it than that and how could I even know enough to criticize since I have avoided seeing most of them? 

Come on, convince me otherwise. 

Fear and Loathing Under The Sea--A Guest Post

Terrifying right?

When I tell people that I’m afraid of the Little Mermaid, I’m met with the typical type of derision you’d expect. Usually, it’s skepticism, thinking that I’m making it up, or overstating my actual fear. Sometimes, it’s mocking, with the “I wasn’t even that much of a baby when I was baby” type comments. Worse, it’s the trying to force me to watch it, or singing the songs at me, so that I get to relive the trauma that was watching the movie for me as a child.

You see, the movie came out while I was still quite young, only 7. Which is an age that is old enough to understand the full effect of what Ursula was threatening Ariel with, but young enough to not fully understand that it was all just make believe. I was in the in-between, magic was real, but so was evil.

I was also fully indoctrinated into a church that believed the devil was a real and powerful force in the world. Now this church wasn’t hell-fire and brimstone by any means, but it’s the creation of duality which makes Christ sacrifice have meaning, without learning about evil, how can you understand good? But that’s a tangent I don’t want to walk down. At 7, I knew about the devil. I knew that he wanted to trick you, to make you his for eternity. 

Enter Ursula: Up until her entrance into the movie, there were some tense scenes, but none that were truly terrifying. Ursula comes in with all the answers to Ariel’s problems, but if you renege on your side of the bargain (and this is the part that was pee-your-pants scary for me) she took your soul and withered it up and added it to her collection to be used by her at a later date. 

I remember watching the movie with friends at a slumber party and then lying in my sleeping bag trying to will the monster away. The image of a tiny, shriveled, imprisoned, worm-like, former-mermaid would not leave my mind. My dreams were filled with soundless screams and terrified eyes. Ursula would enter, feeding off their misery, and I would wake in a sweat.

But I was too embarrassed to admit that a children’s movie gave me nightmares. I was old enough and young enough, that being called a baby was an insult that actually meant something. While in my 3rd grade class on a rainy day, we watched “Little Mermaid” and I pretended to use the bathroom during all the exceptionally scary parts. Pretending to need to pee was less embarrassing than crying during the “Poor Unfortunate Souls” song.

As an adult, I haven’t revisited the movie. A part of me is still afraid, another part of me feels a residual shame I felt at being afraid.

Even more Terrifying.

(Holly is a 30 year old, wanderlusting, child free, singleton, who enjoys spending her time making coffee, teaching writing, flirting, biking, hiking, and general frivolity.)

The Failures of Jennifer Aniston

It's no secret that I am Team Angelina ALL THE WAY. Not only does she out-sexy, out-act, and out-philanthropy Jennifer Aniston (as well as most celebrities), I like her way in the world. We have gotten to watch her grow up, to watch her change. From kissing her brother and wearing Billy Bob's blood around her neck, to taking a genuine interest in global dilemmas and becoming a mother of...what is it, 6 now?

I love strawberries and now, so do you.

You probably don't like Angelina because of the whole Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston thing. You can't see how anyone could leave or hurt adorable Rachel! But the truth I have accepted about this, that you should also come to terms with is that: no one can be stolen unless they want to be stolen. Maybe that is an ignorant single girl's perspective, but I think it has some truth to it. So stop blaming Angelina for all the bad things that have happened to Aniston and let's look at the reality of things. I won't point out the details of her failures, just generalities to keep things polite.

Jennifer Aniston is not a good actress.

As my friend, Carmen stated earlier this week, Aniston doesn't usually take roles outside of her little Rom/Com genre. When she does (The Good Girl, Friends With Money) the movies kind of go under the radar. Because NO ONE wants to see Aniston try to play sad or down on her luck after her time as Rachel on Friends. The closest to good acting that I have seen from her was in The Break Up. Both she and Vince Vaughn stepped a foot or so outside of their normal smiley roles and showed a slightly darker side or what I like to refer to as "what happens after the Rom/Com ends." It's fine that she is niche, it pays the bills. But being cute doesn't make you a good actress and being typecast does not make you respected. Just ask Katherine Heigl.

Wait, is this the angle of my head right? Oh, she had a strawberry? 

Jennifer Aniston has no discernment when it comes to men.

You would think that Aniston would go after a Tom Hanks type...a really nice guy since she seems to wear her badge as America's Sweetheart so proudly. Someone like James Marsden, Brendan Fraser, or Hugh Jackman even. Instead,her dating history includes Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, and Bradley Cooper. And you think that's gonna work out for you? So now she's engaged to Justin Theroux. Who, by the way, usually plays a jerk....a bad boy. And he proposed on his birthday. HOW MANIPULATIVE CAN YOU GET?  I wish her the best in this relationship...but I have my doubts. How could I not?

Jennifer Aniston has no REAL friends.

This is a slap in the face I know given that her fame came from a show called Friends. And yes, I've seen the pics of her and Courtney Cox hugging and read all about how supportive Cox is of her. But if she had any real friends, they would tell her...knock it off with the bad boys. Stop looking like you're pining after Brad and like you're jealous of Angelina. That break up has seemed to define her life. I guess if she were really as great as everyone says she is, if she were really America's Sweetheart...she wouldn't come across as so...pathetic. Maybe it's just the media twisting these things, but when you are a celebrity, you almost have to do something purposefully to change the vibe...and I don't mean do a movie that's a little out of character or something weird with your hair (Miley...what are you thinking!). I mean, make a change. Be real. Whatever you need to do, do that thing already Aniston. Angelina has reinvented herself time and time again, take some cues from her since she "took" so much from you.

I am and will always be Team Angelina. But I don't wish bad things for Aniston. I love nothing more than a story of a comeback, an underdog. "The most celebrated are the rehabilitated." I believe that with all of my heart. But on the other hand, I hate a victim. We all have heartaches, but take control of your life already Jennifer!

Here we go again.

I know many of you will have a hard time with this post, even though it honestly doesn't even BEGIN to cover my feelings on Jennifer and Angelina. (I have written entire essays about this topic.) I just wanted to address some of my thoughts on Aniston alone to get the conversation going. I welcome your rebuttals. I am sure you are Team Jenn...so tell me why!

You can post in the comments, or if you want to write a blog response, please send it to catidwell222@gmail.com or message me at Weekend Fat on Facebook.

To Be or Not To Be...An Actor--A Guest Post

Recently I was sucked into a popular book and movie franchise. Whenever I get interested in a movie, person, author, or whatever, I read all I can about them.  I use Wikipedia (I know, I know, not a reliable source), IMDB, YouTube, reviews, soundtracks; whatever I can to know everything about everyone involved. In my “research” I learned that the actress playing the main character in this franchise is considered a bad actor. 

Okay fine, it is Twilight and Kristen Stewart (insert hanging of the head here).  These bad reviews baffled me a little bit.  I didn’t find anything in her portrayal bad (the only thing I can say on her performance is that I read Bella in my head happier than she played her). She gave Bella a few qualities, like eye blinking and being clumsy, and I thought her waking up screaming in New Moon was quite good. Did you see the scene when the change started, her internal struggling? 

After that I watched another one of her movies on Netflix, Welcome to the Riley’s.  She plays an under-aged, foul mouthed, stripper/hooker and I didn’t find anything wrong with that performance either. It was very different from Bella, so I thought, she has range.  But review after review said “she is a bad actor”.

                Clearly I don’t know what makes someone good at acting. 

I would think that the main consideration is being able to make others believe you are someone else.  I truly believe that Jim Parsons is Sheldon Cooper.  There is no one else who could make that character what Jim makes him.  He uses his voice, inflection, facial features, and body to make me believe he is a crazy dork. Wait, he’s not crazy, his mother had him tested.  I believe that Jim Parsons is not like that in real life, so he is acting. 

There are some actors I don’t believe have to act to play their characters. Rachel Green and Jennifer Aniston are the same person, so I don’t think any actual acting was happening there.   She is usually cast as an ingénue and I believe that is what she basically is. Now you will remind me of her character Justine in The Good Girl.  Yes, it was a vast departure from her previous work, but because it was so different I didn’t buy it.  On the flip side of the Friends coin is Lisa Kudrow, such a smart person playing a ditz. All Acting.

There are actors who have been around a while and have honed their chops who are supposed to be good actors that I don’t enjoy watching.  Meryl Streep is one of them as is Claire Danes.  But I immensely enjoy Enrico Colantoni from Just Shoot Me to Veronica Mars to Flash Point.

It is easy for us to name our favorite actors and call them good.  But really, what is it that makes a good actor?  What performances did you buy?  Or not?

Author’s Note:  The author understands that some people may not like Kristen Stewart because they don’t like Bella’s weak character.  But we can’t all be Katniss Everdeens. 

(CJ Mitchell is not a writer, but a reader and tv watcher. She recently tried to teach a youth group 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon and they said “Who is Kevin Bacon?”.   If she could empty her head of all the useless knowledge there might be room for something important like brain surgery or rocket science.)

The New "Best" Movie of All Time

During my unintentional hiatus last week, I read an article that said Citizen Kane has been replaced as the greatest film of all time, by Vertigo.

What the what.

I disagree. Get ready, there will be spoilers.

I wish my memories could be captured in snow globes.

Citizen Kane, while old and black and white, is the film that changed film culture! It's the story (loosely based on the life of William Randolph Hearst) of a man who says, "Rosebud" on his deathbed. We get flashbacks that sweep over his life to see him become quite successful, achieving the American dream even! However, Rosebud is a mystery to those around him and they wonder, could it be a lost love...who could it be? In the end we learn that Rosebud was the name of his sled when he was a child. A memory of the only truly happy time in his life. The movie represents an internal awareness that films had not really addressed at that point. Rather than a focus on the materialism and external nature of what's important, Citizen Kane got to the heart of the matter. Aside from being narratively smart, there were cinematic moves that created mystery, drama, and built story in a groundbreaking way. It's been the best film for decades.

Until last week. When the poll was taken, the critics decided that Vertigo trumped Citizen Kane this year.

Um. Really? Vertigo?

Maybe it's not such a wonderful life.

First of all, everyone knows that Rear Window is the best Hitchcock movie ever made! And IF I had to pick a second, it would be The Birds or even Psycho before Vertigo! These clueless critics claim that their decision was based on some kind of meta "this is a critic's film cause of something dreamlike and something else reconstructing and something else ideal...." (that's not an exact quote) oh and also something about how cruel love can be and how it can turn us into something we are not...

Are you kidding me?

The shift in this new choice is meant to reveal the shift in film culture. Supposedly we are reaching a place where people choose movies based on their own personal leanings, based on what the movie means to that person. It sounds emotional rather than educated or even experimental. I've been choosing movies based on emotions for YEARS! But I am not a film critic. My job is not to take an objective view to see what rises to the top.

If I were to choose the BEST movie of all time based on emotion, these would be my top 5.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Inception
Shawshank Redemption
Sense and Sensibility
Saved

These 5 (among a TON of others) move me, personally. Even so, this does NOT mean I think they are the best movies ever made! Maybe they are too long or too predictable, or too antagonistic, or too "indie." And so if I were going to have to choose a BEST of all time, I would try to look at more than just what made my heart stir or what I could relate to.

I really don't have anything against Vertigo. And maybe some of you can leave some comments defending it or helping me to come to a place of peace with this decision. I think what really bothers me  about this new choice is that Citizen Kane is a movie about inner happiness. The entire message is that you can have it all, but that won't make you happy! I mean what more culturally RELEVANT message can you deliver after a year of having it all conversations! Vertigo is about debilitating fear, lies and obsession, deceit, manipulation, becoming someone/pretending to be someone you are not, and the consequences of all of that. What does this new choice say about where we are in society? Can we just go back?

Rosebud...

Legends of the Hemsworth Brothers

Remember the movie, Legends of the Fall? Aidan Quinn, Brad Pitt, and Henry Thomas as brothers? And then Julia Ormond with her weepy "I just can't choose" #prettygirlproblems, comes in a ruins the whole perfect trio? But before that happens, the basic story is about three extremely handsome and happy brothers living in the "wild" with their grizzly father, Anthony Hopkins. I love that movie.

That's how I picture the Hemsworth Brothers. Chris just landed the "most coveted role in Hollywood" in Spielberg's next bound to be blockbuster, Robopocalypse. Liam is making waves in the Hunger Games trilogy. And Luke, (yes, there are 3), is the oldest brother, known mostly for soap opera roles, but could blossom a little on the coattails of his younger brothers.






























It's a tragedy in itself, but the boys are all "taken" as of now. 


Luke and Chris are both married, and Liam is dating Miley Cyrus, though marriage rumors are circling like vultures. And I use the word vulture very specifically, because Miley's involvement with Liam means impending doom for him. Miley knows her days are numbered, she's got to get in while the getting's good. Have you seen her lately? Trash. She could be the next Lindsay Lohan. Anyway...this is supposed to be about three really good looking boys.

I've added pictures here to give you a glimpse at what I think is a slight resemblance to the Legends of the Fall brothers. Maybe you can see it too. Luke is the put together, clean cut, blue eyed gentlemen like Quinn. Chris is a little wild and extremely HOT like Pitt. And Liam is slightly innocent and naive, but still super handsome like Thomas (Disclaimer: Like Thomas was in the movie not before or since then.)



Of course, if you've seen the classic, then you know, these three do not fare well over the course of the movie. Young Samuel (Henry Thomas...that's right...from ET) dies in battle.

Tristan (Remember how great of a name that was when you first heard it? Then everyone named their kid that and now there's a bunch of pimple faced sweaty skinny teenage boys running around being called, irreverently, Tristan.) Anyway, Tristan, played by Brad Pitt at his finest, was the wild card of the bunch. He was the wanderer, the free spirit, and naturally, his father's favorite. But he experiences great loss too.


After Samuel dies, Alfred (Aidan Quinn, who was really hot back in the day! Remember how he was the "perfect" man in Practical Magic. Gosh I love that movie. ) Yeah, so Alfred and Tristan basically fight it out over Susannah the rest of the movie. The feud is hard to watch because it just rips the brother apart. In case you don't remember the movie ends with more tragedy. No one gets to be happy.

You gotta wonder if Miley is the Susannah of the Hemsworth Brothers.
HAHAHAHAHA! Okay...yeah right. I mean, it's bad enough that Liam fell for her but there is NO WAY Chris ever could. Look at him. Plus he's truly devoted to his wife and baby. (Sigh. It's like once a baby's involved you have to really respect the marriage. Unless your name is Scarlett Johansson or Abbie Cornish, then I think all bets are off.)

Maybe fame will be the wicked mistress that disrupts these three. Already, Luke is hardly on anyone's radar. And it must be difficult to see your obviously better looking younger brothers come up and land multi-million dollar movie deals.

Liam and Chris can just battle it out for sexiest man alive and grow bitter over that. Right?











I am sure every set of brothers in Hollywood has had their moments of jealousy and envy. Some of these disputes go public...rarely do they end in tragedy like the Legends of the Fall. Though with TMZ around, sometimes things seem that dramatic.


My prediction is that the Hemsworth's will join the ranks of the Hansons, Baldwins, Jonas', and many more. Surviving the fame and fortune of celebrity with a few rough moments, but loyalty, class, and handsomeness above all.


(That last part kind of sounds like a pledge to the Hemsworth brothers!)

Which brother do you like best? 

And HOW HOT was Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall!?