Did You Hear...Katy Perry Likes Garbage Snacks.

Have you ever seen that SNL skit on Weekend Update where Bobby Moynihan plays the "Second-Hand News Correspondent" and doesn't get anything right ever?  Here's the clip if you wanna see it.

Anyway, that was me in my last post.

Here are the things I got wrong:

Jennifer Aniston isn't married yet. I think I messed up on this because such a huge deal was made out of her ring, and then they had that party around Christmas...and somewhere in my slight disinterest, I just made assumptions that this thing was full on go. So when I heard they'd started counseling only after a few months of marriage, I got snarky. I am all for counseling, but the timing seemed strange. Now of course, it makes perfect sense...though I might stop referring to it as "Marriage Boot Camp" if I were them.

I'm not sure where I read this next mistake, or maybe I dreamed it. You know, dreams are made up of like 80% of your deepest desires. And so I was under the impression last night that Adele and Barbra Streisand were going to do a duet on the Grammy's. It made perfect sense to me given the Elton and Sting appearances. But as the credits rolled, I sat there with my mouth open in frustration. Not only was I very aware that I'd have to make corrections in this blog, but I'd kinda held back my excitement waiting for this epic performance that never happened. Sigh. I did read that both women will be performing at the Oscars...but that's all I'm gonna say about it for now. I hate being wrong.

In other "how did I miss this" news...I thought Katy Perry and John Mayer had broken up. Oh well...at least one there's no mistaking one thing...

 

Katy Perry has boobs.

There Are Things To Say...Weekend Fat Is Back.

Upon my return to the States, I thought I might enjoy a little break from blogging to give me time to  adjust into a new routine....and I did. But now there's just too much to say. So I'm back. Now, let's dive in...

Last night I saw a new trailer for the Gatsby movie, and I'm pretty sure I squealed. I still have my doubts about a few things. Will it be too Moulin Rouge-ish? How did they get Leo to look even younger? Can Carey Mulligan play aloof? Why isn't Tom Hardy in it? But overall, I'm pretty excited.

Can you repeat the past? We're certainly gonna try!

Adele and Barbra Streisand are performing a duet at the Grammy's this weekend. Babs hasn't performed there in 36 years; which means my mother wasn't even old enough to drink when she last took the stage. I hope she finds a respectful and encouraging audience at the show, which shouldn't be a problem since she's singing WITH Adele. I'm sure Adele can adele Streisand's career for this generation, since she's a superhero and all.

A star is born.

Maybe it was the Absinthe in my Sazerac, or maybe it was the fact that I was completely bored by the Superbowl (didn't know they still had Superbowls when the Saints aren't participating), but somehow I missed the fact that the lights went out for...apparently, a while. What I did NOT miss that night was the disgusting sound of a nerd kissing a supermodel, the irony of a farmer appreciation commercial in a country that wants to crack down on immigration laws, and the overwhelming feeling to throw my hands up when Destiny's Child performed.

Angel style.

My friend Julie's gonna hate me for this, but I have to pick on Jennifer Aniston. Did you know she and her new husband are already in counseling? They want to get some of those lingering things from past relationships dealt with. Look, I'm ALL FOR counseling. But maybe do that kind of counseling BEFORE you get married??? Also, when is she gonna announce that she's having a baby already? We all know that's what this is all about. Rumor has it that Angelina's pregnant again. Take that Aniston.

Glowing.

In other news, Anne Hathaway's hair is growing back out. Thank goodness we don't have to hear her whine about this anymore. We will know whether or not she's serious about being a "real" actress based on what she does with it from here on out. It's kind of an understanding that unless you're Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, or Jennifer Lawrence, you'd better keep your hair short to avoid those Rom-Com roles. Of course, if she lands an Oscar maybe that's enough to get her into the "people in Hollywood we can respect" club. It does bother me that she's been heard "complaining" about all the attention surrounding Les Mis and the Oscar nominations. She says she's stopped going to lunch. How devastating. So here's the deal...half of me likes her for being authentic even if it is authentically ridiculous. But the other half of me really wants someone to teach her something about being graceful. Did you know there are actually people called, "Hathahaters?"  In spite of it all, I'm actually rooting for you this time around Anne...

Oh geez.

Thoughts on TV and Some Other Stuff

Whoopie Goldberg reprised her role from Ghost on 666 Park Avenue this week.

The devil/demons in American Horror Story are hands down more terrifying than anything on 666 Park Avenue, AND Walking Dead...except maybe the Governor. That guy's a freak.

Can someone feed Julie Bowen?

That guy agrees.

I have 3 degrees, have traveled to 8 countries, have lived in 5 states, and have already held down 1 successful career in my life, but cannot find a full time job. Finn gets kicked out of the military, has never left Ohio, and lands a job working at a school at age 19.

Santana is the only thing worth watching about Glee. Ever.

Remember that jerk from The Bachelor, Jake? Yeah, Kristin Chenoweth is dating him. She apparently hit her head on the set of The Good Wife and it made her have this awakening that life is too short and she should do what makes her happy. I am betting when she recovers fully from this head injury, she will also recover from her huge mistake of dating Jake.

She's gonna make him pop-u-lar.

Revenge is the biggest flop this season. It's like watching a soap opera. I keep waiting for Stefano to come in and ruin things for everyone.

Nashville is seriously rising to the top of my list as best show on TV.

Kate Middleton is pregnant. Adorable. Next up, I'm calling it...Jennifer Aniston. Julie...start preparing your gushing blog!

Dexter...you're killing me with this Russian mafia in Miami, borderline incestual stuff. KILLING ME.

Taylor Swift is dating someone...

Grey's Anatomy's April and her thoughts on God/ her regurgitation of personal conviction is probably very normal for a Christian girl who promised herself to wait and has broken her promise. However, it makes her look crazy, and those thoughts need to be an internal monologue...that we never have to hear.

Grey's Anatomy's Jackson is hot. Have I mentioned that?

Adam Levine criticized Honey Boo Boo this week, saying something about her existence being the sign of a demise of Western Civilization. Adam...you, rebel you. Just sit there and look pretty please.

Don't fill your head with silly thoughts, just sing.

Um, Fleetwood Mac is going on tour in 2013. I think this is my chance to see them. Also, I think I want to make 2013 the year of concerts. I don't even know what to do at concerts, but I love music and so it's time to figure it out.

Lindsay Lohan is...I can't. I just don't have the energy.

What notable things did I miss?

RE: Friendship Three-ways: Handler/Aniston/Cox-By Julie

As Weekend Fat's resident Aniston promoter (I'm seriously happy with this self-appointed title), I am back to discuss Jennifer's gal-pal choices based on a previous post about friendship.

My own thoughts on friendship in my life goes like this: I am not one to have a million friends. I'm not a social butterfly. I find it hard to have surface relationships, friends of convenience, even just acquaintances. I hate insincerity. I hate snobbery. I hate any type of fake. Thus, I keep friends for a long time. If we become friends, we are going to be friends for the long haul. So, I can relate to the threesome Jennifer Aniston has going on. Let's dissect.

I'll be there for you!

Jennifer and Courteney Cox: This relationship makes everyone happy. They were on a show called Friends. I mean, you can't get better than that. This is your best friend from high school. You spent some very formidable years together. They have seen your awkward phase and love you anyway. You basically grew up together. You shared experiences that make you who you are today. These types of friends are super important. They may not be the friend you see the most these days. You are probably in different stages of life now. But, these friends are the ones that you can pick up right where you left off. No explaining needed. They just get it.

Then you hear that these two friends might not be as close as you thought (did Jenn and Courteney have a fight???). Maybe there was a tiff here or there. Well, that happens. Remember, these people know you. They have known you for a long time. If you start dating someone that isn't really great, they might tell you. And you might not like it. Then, you realize they were right to begin with and all is good again. That's how it works. BFF. To the end.

Chelsea's face says it all.

Jennifer and Chelsea Handler: This type of relationship is your later-in-life type. You both have experienced a lot of things (Jenn's divorce, Chelsea's.... ummm, whatever she has experienced) and you have lost that need to impress people. You are who you are. That doesn't mean that you make friends super fast. It means that when you find that type that cuts through the BS and is actually being real about life, you latch on to them. You laugh a lot. You probably hang out a lot. They are probably in a similar life stage. These types can be complete opposites and that is the beauty of it. They like you for you. And, I'll bet that in Jennifer and Chelsea's case, that is a true rarity in Hollywood.

To be sure, it takes a while to find the Chelsea's. I'm no celebrity, but even I am super guarded around new people. I can be nice and friendly. But, true friends? That takes time. I'm not fake at all. Just not likely to be emotionally slutty around new folks.

I can't say that I can really pick sides on this one. No Team Courteney or Team Chelsea here. Both friendships have their place. And, if Jennifer is anything like me (I like to think that we are alike), then I'm guessing that both of these friendships will be around for a while. I say, Mazel to them!


(Julie Bunkley is a wedding planner in Auburn, Ala. If you ever see her at a Starbucks with her computer, she probably isn't working. She's just looking up celebrity life photos, red carpet gown photos and celebrity wedding news. You can learn more about her here!)

Pouring Salt in the Wound: All About Angelina

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog that I knew would be unpopular. It detailed my slightly negative perception of Jennifer Aniston and what I perceive to be her failures. You can read it here. My friend Julie wrote a nice rebuttal in defense of Aniston, and I enjoyed reading it because what she said was very true. Her rebuttal is here. 

But even with the opposing comments and rebuttal, I am still on Team Angelina. I hate to beat a dead horse, but I feel the need to explain my position. Feel free to disagree with me. I don't claim all of the following as fact, but just as my personal perception of her. I think this blog will explain why I like her, and maybe, it will soften your heart toward her too...

"Playing the villain baby, just like you want."

Angelina hit the scene about the time I graduated from high school. Her first substantial movie was Gia, which is an interesting choice for an up and coming actress. It set the stage for her to be taken seriously as an actress. I didn't see Gia until much later, but her follow up role was in Girl, Interrupted and I was hooked. Of course I loved the movie itself, but Jolie nailed the part of crazy. And she did it so well that I felt the envy, hatred, and intense love for her that Brittany Murphy and Winona Ryder also felt in the movie. Jolie stole the screen against some more recognized names. I cling to this part, as do many Angelina fans, because to play that kind of crazy, you have to be a little crazy. I will get back to the crazy in a minute...

So not too long after she started with the Laura Croft and detective/agent action packed movies, adding in a kids movie or drama here and there. So I admit, her resume isn't incredibly noteworthy. But in a time when it's a lot easier to be the cookie cutter rom/com actress, Jolie found her place. And that niche is accompanied by women like Halle Barry and Uma Thurman, whereas Aniston blends in with Katherine Heigl and...[insert generic straight haired female actress here.]

What mistakes did you make at 25?

Back to the crazy...the thing about Angelina's crazy is that it's not the typical brand of Hollywood crazy. While most celebrities can only get a little attention from overdoses and wild parties, Angelina took it up a few notches. Blood vials and incestuous kisses, not to mention that just being the daughter of the terrifying Jon Voight gives her an edge. Seriously, watch Anaconda, that man is scary. So rather than looking at her (during my college years) and thinking sarcastically...really...more drinking, that's impressive. I was genuinely intrigued by her. At one point she stopped acting to become a funeral director. This time of her life was marked by depression, cutting, and family turmoil. She has never hidden this or denied it, but rather admitted it and embraced it as what made her who she is today.

Best picture ever of Angelina.

The Brad Pitt stuff...yeah, it gets tricky. But as I said in my last blog about this...no one can be stolen unless they want to be stolen. And by the time Mr. And Mrs. Smith was being filmed, Angelina had already been named the world's most beautiful woman a few times. Supposedly he and Jenn were having some issues concerning kids. I mean...it was a perfect storm, and if anyone is to "blame" it's Brad. So that happened. And truthfully, at times, I feel like Brad is holding her back. But this is not a blog about him.

When I see this I get "It's a small world" stuck in my head.

Angelina's fame as the Tomb Raider launched her international success, which introduced her face to the world. This might seem a little ridiculous, but having lived in China this year, I can tell you that the few stars considered international really do have the attention of other countries. They pay attention to our celebrities, because if we're honest, that's really all America produces these days. Entertainment.

So when Jolie started to make the move from self-serving, crazy, actress to self-aware, stable, humanitarian, the world took notice. Her political and charitable involvement is smart, she knows how to lobby for her chosen causes in various countries rather than attempting to take on the entire system. She stays dedicated to those causes, most of which aid children and community development in underdeveloped environments. While some people criticize her for her adoptions and having 6 kids, I see this as her putting her money where her (yes, very large) mouth is, and her acting work has slightly slowed with each child allowing her more time to be a mother.

I think I saw this in a slideshow from a mission trip at church once.

Here's the rub for me when people talk about how they don't like Angelina. I have attended quite a bit of church in my life. And when someone comes in with this kind of "testimony" we Christians LOVE it. Objectively, it goes something like this: "In her younger days she was cutting, drinking, in the depth of depression, from a crazy family and now look at her! She's successful, a humanitarian. Using her money for good! And oh...those orphans have a home now!" Even secular culture loves seeing someone change for the better. It's why we still root for Lindsay Lohan! And honestly, there is no better story than that of Angelina's when it comes to being rehabilitated. But most people I know resent her for it. They hate her even. She is definitely polarizing. I make no claims that Jolie has found God...but I do believe she's cleaned up. She is focused. She tamed her crazy and channeled that blood vial passion into life-changing issues. She made her way in this world and now she makes a difference.

And also...she's sexy.

And maybe slightly ridiculous. ;)

Team Jennifer-A Rebuttal

The following is a response to my unpopular post last week entitled The Failures of Jennifer Aniston.


I've never really had to defend my choice of celebrity love. I just figured you love a celebrity or you don't. Very subjective. How can anyone define what it is that attracts people to others? But, since the great debate of the age seems like it will be Team Jennifer vs. Team Angelina, then I'll play. *To make very clear, I'm not going to speak on anyone "stealing" anyone else. Not at all. Moving on...

The Golden Couple. Damn, I want her arms.

Let's just start with Friends. It's pretty much where Jennifer started. So many folks will have a soft spot for Jennifer just because of Friends. I spent my high school and college careers with these people. So, I look very favorably on the whole thing. Really, my Thursday nights haven't been the same since Friends left. Thus, I own the entire series on DVD. Jennifer spent ten years of her life with one character. Out of all of the Friends characters, Rachel aged the best (Joey's stupidity didn't read well as he aged; Ross just got more annoying, Monica just got stranger, etc.). So call it good casting. Call it good writing. Rachel/Jennifer will be one and the same. I don't know that I could call it type casting really. TV actors have to embody their characters more so than film actors for the show to be good for ten seasons. Jon Hamm will always be Don Draper (thank God). Jeremy Piven will always be Ari Gold. I'm okay with Jennifer always being a little bit Rachel.

Kind of a hippie moment for them, but they match!

I really don't think that people are fair when they say Jennifer is a bad actor and can't do other types of roles. Let's be honest. Do we want to see Jen get uglied up for a role? Nope. Even while on Friends, I can only come up with 2 episodes where she was less than completely put together - The One Where It All Started (pilot - Rachel in a wedding dress drenched from rain) and The One With The Fake Party (where she ended up in her high school cheerleading uniform and a fat lip). We have done this to her. She played her role in The Breakup well because she could be beautiful and angry at the same time. No harm, no foul. Same goes for Rumor Has It. There will be no Charlize Theron/Monster transformations in Jennifer's career. And I think we all want it that way. I believe that Charlize is absolutely gorgeous and can do anything she wants. But, we have allowed ourselves to want Jennifer only in a certain way. And that doesn't include her being ugly (or, gosh, even messy) for a role. Was Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn ever criticized for this? I don't think so.

Stop with the leg! Brad, control your woman.

On to the whole Brad Pitt thing. Well, what can you say? I liked them together. Mostly because I like matching things (it's kind of weird actually) and I just thought they matched. Golden colored hair. Tanned and toned. The cool, beachy thing totally working for them. I loved it. Yes. I am extremely superficial. I'd say that she hasn't been super discriminating in her choice of men since. I mean, if you start at the top, there isn't anywhere else to go but down (in the looks department). But, who hasn't made some mistakes with men? Let her live her life. At least she hasn't dived into the weird category (more on that later).

So, since we've made it to Brad Pitt, let's start comparing Jennifer to Angelina.

Acting: Jennifer - sometimes there is only so much you can do as an actor in terms of your career. Hollywood is a fickle beast. Tom Cruise will always be a cocky jack-ass role. Jennifer, the pretty girl. And you are comparing this to Angelina's... what?... Tomb Raider series? No thanks. I say, Jennifer's being darn smart by taking all her type casting straight to the bank. How many older female actors have complained about the lack of roles? Jen's crossed the 40-year-old mark. She's got to play it super smart. Make her cash now. Then, she can do whatever she wants.

How to have fun on the red carpet!

Sexiness: I am always confused at the folks who claim Angelina is the sexiest thing ever. How so? Because she gives off the dirty girl vibe? Well. You can have that. Angelina is weird. Weird, weird, weird. Vials of Billy Bob's blood? Making out with him on red carpets? Kissing her brother? She's just strange. And that doesn't equal sexy in my book. I like Jennifer's personal style. Or, her stylist's choice for her personal style. She just looks so relaxed in her clothes. And, she smiles!!! Every red carpet she does, she's smiling. Angelina always looks uptight or has decided that she's only there to put on a show. Who poses like that with their nasty skinny leg hanging out of their dress at the Oscars? A weirdo, that's who. And, would it kill her to take a red carpet photo looking slightly more animated than a wax figure? Jennifer has always seemed like someone I'd love to hang out with. Just cool. It's like she knows the whole scene is over-blown and ridiculous. So, bring it down a notch. Even when you compare photos of them on a regular day. I pick Jennifer. And, I've always heard that men like it when women aren't all done up. They like the relaxed, albeit clean and put together, look. Jen wins.

How to hate the red carpet.

One thing I particularly appreciate about Jennifer is that she seems to be living her life on her terms. She doesn't splash her life all over the place. She isn't trying to be someone she isn't (in real life - not on a set...ha!). Angelina always comes off as trying too hard for my taste. Okay, we get it. You want to be known as a decent person. One adoption would have been plenty to make that point. Stop throwing it in everyone's face. I appreciate those that help others behind the scenes. Or, maybe taking on causes that aren't so high profile. Who's to say what charity work is better than others? Basically, Angelina is an over achieving B. Calm down and don't take yourself so seriously!

Therefore, I love Jennifer Aniston. Always have. Always will.

P.S. I take issue with the fact that Angelina is pictured first on a post focusing on Jennifer. ;)


(Julie, 30, lives in Auburn, Ala. and balances her serious and superficial sides by being a self-employed wedding planner and amateur style/celebrity critic. Some of her current goals include: be a reoccurring guest on The Real Housewives of Atlanta (preferably as Nene's bestie); become best friends with Martha Stewart; actually become Kate Middleton. You can keep up with her views on weddings on her blog www.invevents.com.)

The Failures of Jennifer Aniston

It's no secret that I am Team Angelina ALL THE WAY. Not only does she out-sexy, out-act, and out-philanthropy Jennifer Aniston (as well as most celebrities), I like her way in the world. We have gotten to watch her grow up, to watch her change. From kissing her brother and wearing Billy Bob's blood around her neck, to taking a genuine interest in global dilemmas and becoming a mother of...what is it, 6 now?

I love strawberries and now, so do you.

You probably don't like Angelina because of the whole Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston thing. You can't see how anyone could leave or hurt adorable Rachel! But the truth I have accepted about this, that you should also come to terms with is that: no one can be stolen unless they want to be stolen. Maybe that is an ignorant single girl's perspective, but I think it has some truth to it. So stop blaming Angelina for all the bad things that have happened to Aniston and let's look at the reality of things. I won't point out the details of her failures, just generalities to keep things polite.

Jennifer Aniston is not a good actress.

As my friend, Carmen stated earlier this week, Aniston doesn't usually take roles outside of her little Rom/Com genre. When she does (The Good Girl, Friends With Money) the movies kind of go under the radar. Because NO ONE wants to see Aniston try to play sad or down on her luck after her time as Rachel on Friends. The closest to good acting that I have seen from her was in The Break Up. Both she and Vince Vaughn stepped a foot or so outside of their normal smiley roles and showed a slightly darker side or what I like to refer to as "what happens after the Rom/Com ends." It's fine that she is niche, it pays the bills. But being cute doesn't make you a good actress and being typecast does not make you respected. Just ask Katherine Heigl.

Wait, is this the angle of my head right? Oh, she had a strawberry? 

Jennifer Aniston has no discernment when it comes to men.

You would think that Aniston would go after a Tom Hanks type...a really nice guy since she seems to wear her badge as America's Sweetheart so proudly. Someone like James Marsden, Brendan Fraser, or Hugh Jackman even. Instead,her dating history includes Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, and Bradley Cooper. And you think that's gonna work out for you? So now she's engaged to Justin Theroux. Who, by the way, usually plays a jerk....a bad boy. And he proposed on his birthday. HOW MANIPULATIVE CAN YOU GET?  I wish her the best in this relationship...but I have my doubts. How could I not?

Jennifer Aniston has no REAL friends.

This is a slap in the face I know given that her fame came from a show called Friends. And yes, I've seen the pics of her and Courtney Cox hugging and read all about how supportive Cox is of her. But if she had any real friends, they would tell her...knock it off with the bad boys. Stop looking like you're pining after Brad and like you're jealous of Angelina. That break up has seemed to define her life. I guess if she were really as great as everyone says she is, if she were really America's Sweetheart...she wouldn't come across as so...pathetic. Maybe it's just the media twisting these things, but when you are a celebrity, you almost have to do something purposefully to change the vibe...and I don't mean do a movie that's a little out of character or something weird with your hair (Miley...what are you thinking!). I mean, make a change. Be real. Whatever you need to do, do that thing already Aniston. Angelina has reinvented herself time and time again, take some cues from her since she "took" so much from you.

I am and will always be Team Angelina. But I don't wish bad things for Aniston. I love nothing more than a story of a comeback, an underdog. "The most celebrated are the rehabilitated." I believe that with all of my heart. But on the other hand, I hate a victim. We all have heartaches, but take control of your life already Jennifer!

Here we go again.

I know many of you will have a hard time with this post, even though it honestly doesn't even BEGIN to cover my feelings on Jennifer and Angelina. (I have written entire essays about this topic.) I just wanted to address some of my thoughts on Aniston alone to get the conversation going. I welcome your rebuttals. I am sure you are Team Jenn...so tell me why!

You can post in the comments, or if you want to write a blog response, please send it to catidwell222@gmail.com or message me at Weekend Fat on Facebook.