Disappointing Endings--A Guest Post by Vicky

I have a beef with Hollywood. I have noticed there are an increasing amount of disappointing endings to movies. You know what I mean. Those movies that have amazing trailers, that look epic, there are talented actors involved, this movie is going to be the best thing you’ve seen in years. So you pay your ten or thirteen dollars depending on if it’s in 3D, you sneak in some sodas in your purse, but buy the movie popcorn because there’s just something about it. You might wait in line for a while, then you take your seat, and endure endless commercials you could watch on TV, answer stupid trivia questions that everyone knows, and wonder if people actually text in answers to who is best dressed. Finally the screen gets dark, the lights dim, the ambient crowd noise dies down, and there is an excitement in the air. You watch awesome trailers to movies you plan to see later to the point that you forget which movie you came to see in the first place. Now, fifteen minutes after the start time, the movie you paid to see begins its journey. It’s epic, it’s sweeping, the actors are doing great work, and you react to the sadness, the joy, and the jokes. You are about to declare this an amazing movie.  But suddenly, something happens, the movie starts to wrap up its epic, sweeping story and you are left empty and unfulfilled.  

W...T...F?

What just happened? That movie was so good, but now all I can think about is how unfulfilled I was by the ending!  Why didn’t they just: (insert suggestion here)?  Why? WHY?  WHY?!?!?!?!? (Cue: falling on knees, in the rain, arms up, crying up to the sky at the movie gods for this pathetic ending.)

So I have compiled a small list of movies that I found to be disappointing in the end.  These are star-filled, action-packed, good concept movies until the end screwed them up. The only thing they have in common is the disappointing ending and that I paid money to see them in the movie theater. Warning: major spoilers ahead, proceed at your own risk.

Snow White and the Huntsman 

This movie was pretty good and the concept was great. A strong Snow White who teams up with the Huntsman sent to capture her, a slightly crazy, power-hungry queen who wants immortality and to rule the land forever. There are so many things this movie got right: Charlize Theron as the gorgeous Queen Ravenna, Chris Hemsworth as the brooding, handsome Huntsman, Bob Hoskins (Smee!) is among the dwarves, Sam Claflin as Prince Charming William, the visual effects and cinematography are breathtaking, Ravenna’s back story is rich and gives us an insight to why she’s so angry. Then there was this one choice that threw everything off…

All believability, lost.

(Side rant)  Kristen Stewart was a poor choice. I’m sorry, I’m not a fan. I’ve seen her in a few things and I don’t like her as an actress. I don’t understand why she’s so sought after; she has NO EMOTIONS!  I understand that the whole “fairer” thing is not just about the looks but more about the goodness that is inside Snow White. However, knowing that the whole deal was originally about looks and that the queen is so beauty obsessed, they should have cast someone more looks-worthy and acting-worthy and just overall-worthy.

But back to the ending, it was sub-par. There was all this build-up to an epic battle that fell a little short and led to the crowning of Snow White as the new queen. The last scene left me so wanting. What about the Huntsman, why is he just standing at the back while she’s named queen, why isn’t he by her side, are we going to address that he loves her, does she love him, if the Huntsman isn’t her choice, is it William? There was this little indication that the land was returning to normal, sun shining and trees setting out blooms, but I would have loved to see an indication of the people being rejuvenated as well, something to let me know that everything truly is on the mend.  Maybe they have sequel stuff in mind, but still, now I’m completely disinterested because I was SO disappointed.  

Robin Hood

I’m talking about the Russell Crowe version because in no way do the Kevin Costner (“I would die for you” and Sean Connery) or Cary Elwes (Patrick Stewart and “Call the locksmith!”) versions disappoint.  All of the buildup; the back story of Robin Hood being a soldier and the circumstances by which he becomes Robin Hood, meeting Cate Blachett’s Marion, the amazing moment when he hops on the horse and declares his love for her (sigh), the epic battles throughout, it’s all good.

Someone is about to get an arrow through their neck.

I was swept away, Kevin Costner’s lack of accent fading in my mind, when suddenly King James is jealous of Robin and declares him an outlaw.  What?  So now we’re at the point where Robin’s adventures as we know them begin?  NOW, Robin of Loxley is an outlaw?  And how did they set up that little forest community so quickly?  Meh.  

And who are we kidding really?  Alan Rickman will always be the best Sheriff of Nottingham, hands down.  

Hancock

I only have one thing to say. They’re gods/angels/superheroes and soul mates?  Really?

I will cut you (because when we’re together it will actually hurt)

What movie endings did you find disappointing?  Do you agree with my disappointing choices?

(Vicky, 29, lives in Tallahassee, FL where she is impressed with the fact that there is more than just a Hobby Lobby to buy fabric.  She is a writer, reader, wife, dog mom, theatre lover, and costume maker.  Mostly, she is what she likes to refer to as a sous of everything, master of nothing.)

Cabin In The Woods: Take 2

Ok, so I re-watched Cabin In The Woods. I wasn't going to, but so many people that I respect seemed to like it, and so I thought...maybe I missed something. 

Turns out, I did. 

See...I'm a multi-tasker by nature. Usually when I sit and watch movies, I am also blogging, researching, chatting, and eating...though I probably could have not told you about that last one. My students here in China have downloaded a program on my computer that is basically a search engine for movies. Given that China really has no problems pirating American films, I get to watch a LOT of stuff for free. So on my Chinese computer, I watch movies, and on this one, I do this. But the movies on the Chinese computer aren't always great. Sometimes the subtitles get in the way of the action. Other times they are recorded right from the theater. That was the case with Cabin in the Woods. And since I hated the way it began, I think somewhere in all of that, I tuned out.

But I tuned back in recently and rented it on iTunes and stopped everything to really watch it. And it turns out, I liked it better. I appreciated what they were doing with it. The meta stuff that bothered me before was a little more fun the second time around. In fact, I think it ended up being pretty solid. I especially like the ending where they are discussing the "evil gods" and how the sun will rise in 8 minutes. It stands to reason that maybe they are talking about...us...the audience. I mean, we love horror movies, and 8 minutes after that is spoken, the movie ends...lights come up in the theater. Of course they could be referring to movie producers/studios...yeah...let's go with that. Much more evil. At any rate, this meta part of the movie was kind of fun.

Who is more likely the virgin...come on...

Except for 1 thing...

I would have changed the ending. Spoilers coming now:

So we learn that the death of the "virgin" is optional in a movie, and at the end we are left with the girl who is somewhat innocent and sweet even though we know is not a virgin from the very beginning of the movie. Sigourney Weaver explains this by pointing out that they "work with what they have." And we are left with the guy who is the "fool" the drunk, high, nerd boy who is responsible for comedy relief. So the two are both left and the boy has to die in order to keep the "evil gods" from getting mad and destroying the Earth. The girl's death is optional...because she is the "virgin." The two have a moment where she is about to shoot him, but then she is attacked by a werewolf and there's some struggle and Sigourney Weaver and werewolf end up dying. SO...now we are back to just the two, and again, to save the Earth we think that the boy must die. EXCEPT WHAT IF HE TURNS TO HER WITH THE GUN POINTED AND SAYS, "I'M THE VIRGIN!" Boom. He kills her and the world is saved. Because let's face it, he was a much more believable virgin than the girl who we KNOW has had sex. And yes, I get that they are just icons of the greater "formulas" of horror movies, but if you really wanted to meta it out and then twist it up on its end, I think my ending would have ruled. Instead...they sit there, smoke some pot and wait for the world to end. Where are the convictions of these young horror movie characters these days!

So, Cabin in the Woods...worth a watch. Just don't blame me if you aren't thrilled with the ending. I would have obviously opted for something different. 

Who wants to see the movie with MY ending on it!?

You Call THAT An Ending!?

It takes a lot to make a really good movie. It takes very little to ruin one. How many times have you been to a movie that you thought had great potential only to have the ending absolutely suck? I'm not referring to the obvious sad endings like Braveheart or Gladiator or even Titanic. Those endings are at least well thought out. I'm talking about those movies when someone decides to slap an ending on it that really makes very little sense with the rest of what you've been shown. I'm not sure why this happens, though I do have some theories about what must go through the minds of movie makers in these moments:

1. We're tired, let's just do this thing before we waste anymore time or money.

2. Everyone will want it to end this way, so let's just do it.

3. Everyone will want it to end this way, so let's do the opposite.

4. Everyone will expect it to end this way, so let's throw them a curve ball.
5. We have lost all touch with real audiences and have no clue what people want anymore.


Most movies that struggle in this area fall into the romantic comedy or suspense genres. I have all but stopped watching rom-coms, so that one doesn't bother me much. But suspense is my first love! I crave a movie that builds tension and drops in seemingly random things only to have them all come together in one unexpected swoop at the end. Some of my favorites off the top of my head are The Others, Se7en, Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Shutter Island, The Prestige, The Usual Suspects, and Primal Fear.  Each of these movies offer a shocking twist or at least a clever closed circuit that calls upon the most intricate details of the movie in order to deliver a truly great ending.


It's rare though. And more times than not Hollwood gets it wrong. Here are some movies that managed to be ruined in their final minutes. Oh and seeing as how I will be discussing ENDINGS, there will be spoilers ahead.

The aliens can't afford the rent on this side of town!

1. War of the Worlds
We stuck around through a terrifying alien attack and watched the way chaos turns humans into horrific animals. Tom Cruise was even bearable in this one, and yet suddenly when we should have been given no reason to hope, we find out that as long as you live in a brownstone in a high end area of a major metropolis, you'll probably survive. The ending is made worse by a voice over explaining the strangely optimistic "cure" in a matter of a few seconds.

And then the slinky attacked him...yeah...let's end it like that!

2. The Number 23, Secret Window, Hide and Seek, and many many more...
It's a tired trick. Psycho did it first and best. And while other movies have pulled it off, many have not. The main character is living some delusion, maybe has a split personality or something and is the culprit/killer/bad guy. The problem with the above three I've listed is that you don't expect the ending to be bad because of the actors who are in the movies: Jim Carrey, Robert DeNiro, and Johnny Depp. But in truth, all three are in a long line of lacking and sorely disappointing movies that claim this "trick" ending.

It goes downhill from here. 

3. The Village
It's true that M. Night Shyamalan has done some great things for movie making. I was his loyal fan until this one. And honestly, this particular movie did pull me in with all the right silences and colors and terrifying moments. But in the end, I felt ripped off. I don't find the paved road exciting, I just find it blah. Of course we all know that Shyamalan hasn't pulled off another decent twist ending since this attempt. It's too bad because when he was hot, he was on fire!

Can you just arrest him and call it a day?

4. Zodiac
I should have known better. I should have done my research. How horrible to sit through such an intense and scary movie about a serial killer only to never have a resolution. The only thing that's worse is that it happened that way in real life.

Dear Amanda, even Jennifer's Body will be better than this movie. 

5. Letters to Juliet
I don't even remember why I hate this movie other than the fact that this old lady kept brushing Amanda Seyfried's hair. Weird. I didn't bother refreshing myself on this movie, I'm just certain that I hated the ending.

What is your least favorite movie ending?