So You Finished Season 3 of Downton Abbey...

First of all...welcome. I've been expecting you. Having sat quietly on that horrific ending of Season 3 for the last 2 months, I can honestly say that it's been tough watching your Facebook posts of celebration over marriages, babies, Bates' freedom, and Thomas not being a complete asshat. But alas, the celebration is over.

Matthew is dead.

Wait, I think I saw him breathe!

I've seen lots of anger at Julian Fellowes on Facebook and received quite a few texts regarding this most recent plot twist turn dead end. And it is in fact, tragic and maybe a bit reactionary. But my questions are not for Fellowes, they're for Dan Stevens.

What kind of guiding principles do you have that lead you away from THE most watched show in PBC history? Stevens insists he has other things coming down the pipe, some stage shows in New York, some writing opportunities, maybe a movie or two. He swears that he didn't want to be just the next big TV star. But my gut says he just put a nail in the coffin of his short-lived stardom.

The NICEST thing Fellowes could have done for him was to kill him off, because it keeps us sympathetic for him. Had Matthew left Mary, we would HATE him. Plot-wise it had to happen that way. Mary has a son, Matthew is practically Judas...serving his poetic purpose in a much larger story.

Ok, let's do this, I have to make a stop by Downton Abbey for what is basically becoming a British Horror Story.

Stevens' decision to leave goes directly against something I recently read from Tina Fey that I have adopted into my own guiding philosophy. Fey says:

The fun is always on the other side of a yes. Say yes, and you'll figure it out afterward. This has helped me to be more adventurous. It has definitely helped me be less afraid.

"We're offering you a job here at 'Saturday Night Live' -- can you move here within a week?"

"Ummm, yes I can."

"You know, you haven't been here that long, but do you want to move up and try to be one of the head writers?"

Feeling completely terrified inside, but saying, "Uhhh, yes, okay, yes, for sure."

"Do you wanna do 'Weekend Update' with Jimmy?"

Petrified. "Yes, thank you, of course!"

There are limits of reason to this idea of saying yes to everything, but when I meet someone whose first instinct is "No, how can we do that? That doesn't seem possible," I'm always kind of taken aback. Almost anyone would say, "It's Friday at two in the morning. We don't have an opening political sketch. We can't do it." Yeah, of course you can. There's no choice. And even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward. 

I remember observing the tendency people have to say "no" first when I was on staff at a church. No matter what was thrown out as a new idea, the fact it was new meant that there was built-in resistance. I was disgusted that our members and staff were investing themselves by thinking about the church and trying to make it better, only to be shut down around every corner. Fey's advice and experience resonates with me on a very personal level. Saying "no" guarantees one thing...that nothing changes. You stay as poor, as rich, as successful, as stuck, as happy, and as depressed as you are at that moment. A yes, guarantees movement every time.

Does this look like the face of the next big superstar?

Steven's might get by for a few more years on his floppy blonde hair and his sultry eyes, but I find it hard to believe that he will ever compete with the likes of Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling  on the big screen. I understand the concept of "leave 'em wanting more" but I also understand the concept of job security and being the most adored character on a super popular TV show. Ok...I don't understand that last part at all, but man...if I did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say no.

How long can Downton go on like this? Who will leave next? Why is this happening!? IS THIS REAL LIFE!!!???