"We'll Put on a Performance Like They'll Never Forget!"

In case you can't tell from the title of this blog, I'm still hate-watching Smash. I've had it with the over the top drama that begs the question, does the content serve the form or the form serve the content? I mean, this IS a show about the drama of Broadway. Is the ridiculous drama meant to immerse us into that culture? Or could the show possibly be approached from a slightly different form that would allow us to appreciate the drama of the actual musical within the show. As it stands now, the scenes that are musical numbers seem LESS strained than the interactions between characters and bipolar plot twists. Talk about some high highs and some low lows...

How can these people afford to sit around and wait for Jennifer Hudson to save their show?

Glee has desensitized us from being turned off by characters bursting into song. Nashville has worked music into the drama of their show seamlessly. But Smash...well...it plays like...a musical. Which to some people is bad enough. Remember when you took your friend to see Evita and they were like..."What! There was no talking!" It happens. The thing is, I'm a person who loves musicals. But I like GOOD musicals. Smash is not too different from the off-off---OFF Broadway shows that it's referring to in the film. The only thing is that...those musicals don't get NEAR the attention or talent that is given to this one. It would never have such a "high-powered" financial backer like Anjelica Huston's character. Nor those writers with so much success under their belts.

You're gonna love me.

Now when I say talent, I am being very hesitant and even selective. I mean...Ivy. She is the only enjoyable part of this show. Watching Debra Messing with a perma-frown is no fun after her years as Grace...and where is her hair? Jennifer Hudson's appearance was simply to boost the show back onto our radar. And don't EVEN get me started on Katherine McPhee. Is there like a "Fembot American Idol Club" that she and Carrie Underwood are members of? You can be pretty all day long, but can you carry on a conversation? Can you raise your eyebrows in time with your emotions? Come on! I worry that someone like Idina Menzel is going to get pegged for this show...but I seriously hope she will remember her RENT days and jump over the moon, laughing at "the man" (the man being Smash) all the way. Of course, her level of talent might be what it takes to save this show. Do we want it saved?

Frenemies. More of this please.

Aside from the talent, the writers of this show should be ashamed of themselves. No one gets away with rhetorical dialogue without a laugh track or a Shonda Rhimes backing. Stop writing the obvious and throw us for a loop. Let Ivy lean into her badness. Let Katherine lose her ridiculous faux innocence that no one even buys because we all know in real life she's a bitch, and let's get on with this thing. Enough with the affair scandals. We want to see you focus on 2 things: The Musical and The Competition. And by the way, this season better end with the musical being on GO, so that next season (oh geez, I just said that...) can be about the drama of actually making a musical. And here's the thing...if the show will get it's act together...then I guarantee we could be seeing an ACTUAL SMASH MUSICAL on Broadway in a few years. Stranger things have happened. Right?

Look, I gave up on Revenge. I gave up on Once Upon a Time. Smash...you're next if you don't watch out. Now..get out there and give me a performance that I'll never forget!

Are you (still) watching Smash? What do you think?

3 Shades of Red: Anger According to Celebrity Gingers

When you start a blog about pop-culture, you have to be open to challenges. Recently a friend issued a challenge for me to write a blog called, "3 Shades of Red." I asked her what it should be about and she said, "That's up to you. Just see if you can do it." Challenge. Accepted.

My first thought was to go the route of the best seller "50 Shades of Grey," but since I am not ready to admit that I have read it haven't read it yet, I decided it would be a stretch.

It's no secret that people with red hair are known for their tempers. I happen to have more redheaded friends than the average person, and so I think it's safe to say that I am somewhat of an expert when it comes to observing the different levels of anger they channel on any given day. But instead of risking making the redheads in my life angry by using them as examples (NO THANK YOU), I've decided to turn to a few of my favorite Celebrity Gingers to help me discuss three different ways people deal with anger. 

Florence Welch and Christina Hendricks

Watch Your Back-The Passive Aggressive 

The Dog Days are never over for a Mad Woman.

You won't know that you've pissed these two off at first. You might even continue for months acting the same way you always did: bobbing your head along to Florence's music, admiring Christina for being a plus-sized (normal woman) in Hollywood. They are both goddess-like and while you have been busy worshipping them for their femininity, you have under-estimated just how sensitive and powerful they are. Maybe you told Florence that you like her bangs a little longer, or you glossed right over Christina's acting abilities to ask her if her boobs are real. These comments did not go un-noticed. They are just laying dormant waiting to be summoned up and used at the right moment. And the result will cut you unexpectedly and deep. Suddenly you realize that when Florence is singing about her boy building coffins, she is implying that he will build one for YOU. And with one statement to the media, Christina discredits you by saying that anyone who has actually SEEN a real pair of boobs would never have to ask if hers are real. You won't see them lose their shit, but they never forget an offense and know just how to make you pay.

Julianne Moore and Dana Delany

Death by Lecture-The Confrontational 

      The Kids are NOT all right and I need you to listen to me!

This dead body is proof that we should have a long conversation.

Even though these two women have sex appeal, a more defining quality is that they just look smart. They are distinguished and confident and extremely competent in communication. While this might be a blessing for them, it is a curse for anyone who crosses them. Just take a look at their current roles: Delany plays a former Neurosurgeon with shaky hands which means she must resort to operating on those she can't hurt; dead people. In most crime shows the medical examiner is practically an extra, never the center of attention. But Delany's character refuses to stay in the operating room. She charges from place to place confronting detectives, policemen, criminals, her boss, her mother, her daughter, and her ex-husband. Moore's approach is slightly different, but nonetheless straight on. During her brief time on 30 Rock, she portrayed a Boston-grown hard-ass girlfriend to Jack Donaghy, who knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to walk away from his two-timing antics. She nailed her more recent role as Sarah Palin. And though I don't think that Moore and Palin have much in common, there is no denying that the words coming out of her mouth in Game Changer were terrifying. And let's just face it. It takes real guts to play the controversial character of someone who is still alive. Make them angry, and these women won't run, they won't seek revenge, but be prepared because you've probably opened yourself up for a string of sarcastic and cutting words that would put anyone in their place.

Lindsay Lohan and Debra Messing

These Two Will F*@K You Up!-The Irrational

Don't let the pretty smiles fool you.

Sure Lindsay got her start in Disney with the Parent Trap, and Debra practically played Lucille Ball incarnate on Will and Grace, but this anger is not cute, it is not sweet, it is not funny. If you make these two angry, you need to run. Messing's name alone is a clue that she isn't kidding around. And crazy runs in Lohan's family. Of course everyone wants to see Lindsay leave her train wreck ways behind and rehabilitate. Celebrities from Tina Fey to Ellen to Oprah have personally offered to help Lohan recover. But her answer to this is to write obscenities on her fingers when she sits before the judge who will determine her fate. She is a HONEY BADGER. Messing is of course more subtle in her approach, and maybe personally, a little more together than Lohan. Okay, a lot more together. But her character on Smash is a high pitched screamer, an overly emotional cryer, and just one rewrite away from punching someone. Watching her on-screen rants has me convinced that pissing her off in real life would no doubt unleash the same kind of tantrum. Truthfully, and I have no idea why, but I just picture these two with baseball bats running through the streets in a redhead celebrity riot knocking the hell out of anyone who gets in their way. No talking them down. Just run.