3 Shades of Red: Anger According to Celebrity Gingers

When you start a blog about pop-culture, you have to be open to challenges. Recently a friend issued a challenge for me to write a blog called, "3 Shades of Red." I asked her what it should be about and she said, "That's up to you. Just see if you can do it." Challenge. Accepted.

My first thought was to go the route of the best seller "50 Shades of Grey," but since I am not ready to admit that I have read it haven't read it yet, I decided it would be a stretch.

It's no secret that people with red hair are known for their tempers. I happen to have more redheaded friends than the average person, and so I think it's safe to say that I am somewhat of an expert when it comes to observing the different levels of anger they channel on any given day. But instead of risking making the redheads in my life angry by using them as examples (NO THANK YOU), I've decided to turn to a few of my favorite Celebrity Gingers to help me discuss three different ways people deal with anger. 

Florence Welch and Christina Hendricks

Watch Your Back-The Passive Aggressive 

The Dog Days are never over for a Mad Woman.

You won't know that you've pissed these two off at first. You might even continue for months acting the same way you always did: bobbing your head along to Florence's music, admiring Christina for being a plus-sized (normal woman) in Hollywood. They are both goddess-like and while you have been busy worshipping them for their femininity, you have under-estimated just how sensitive and powerful they are. Maybe you told Florence that you like her bangs a little longer, or you glossed right over Christina's acting abilities to ask her if her boobs are real. These comments did not go un-noticed. They are just laying dormant waiting to be summoned up and used at the right moment. And the result will cut you unexpectedly and deep. Suddenly you realize that when Florence is singing about her boy building coffins, she is implying that he will build one for YOU. And with one statement to the media, Christina discredits you by saying that anyone who has actually SEEN a real pair of boobs would never have to ask if hers are real. You won't see them lose their shit, but they never forget an offense and know just how to make you pay.

Julianne Moore and Dana Delany

Death by Lecture-The Confrontational 

      The Kids are NOT all right and I need you to listen to me!

This dead body is proof that we should have a long conversation.

Even though these two women have sex appeal, a more defining quality is that they just look smart. They are distinguished and confident and extremely competent in communication. While this might be a blessing for them, it is a curse for anyone who crosses them. Just take a look at their current roles: Delany plays a former Neurosurgeon with shaky hands which means she must resort to operating on those she can't hurt; dead people. In most crime shows the medical examiner is practically an extra, never the center of attention. But Delany's character refuses to stay in the operating room. She charges from place to place confronting detectives, policemen, criminals, her boss, her mother, her daughter, and her ex-husband. Moore's approach is slightly different, but nonetheless straight on. During her brief time on 30 Rock, she portrayed a Boston-grown hard-ass girlfriend to Jack Donaghy, who knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to walk away from his two-timing antics. She nailed her more recent role as Sarah Palin. And though I don't think that Moore and Palin have much in common, there is no denying that the words coming out of her mouth in Game Changer were terrifying. And let's just face it. It takes real guts to play the controversial character of someone who is still alive. Make them angry, and these women won't run, they won't seek revenge, but be prepared because you've probably opened yourself up for a string of sarcastic and cutting words that would put anyone in their place.

Lindsay Lohan and Debra Messing

These Two Will F*@K You Up!-The Irrational

Don't let the pretty smiles fool you.

Sure Lindsay got her start in Disney with the Parent Trap, and Debra practically played Lucille Ball incarnate on Will and Grace, but this anger is not cute, it is not sweet, it is not funny. If you make these two angry, you need to run. Messing's name alone is a clue that she isn't kidding around. And crazy runs in Lohan's family. Of course everyone wants to see Lindsay leave her train wreck ways behind and rehabilitate. Celebrities from Tina Fey to Ellen to Oprah have personally offered to help Lohan recover. But her answer to this is to write obscenities on her fingers when she sits before the judge who will determine her fate. She is a HONEY BADGER. Messing is of course more subtle in her approach, and maybe personally, a little more together than Lohan. Okay, a lot more together. But her character on Smash is a high pitched screamer, an overly emotional cryer, and just one rewrite away from punching someone. Watching her on-screen rants has me convinced that pissing her off in real life would no doubt unleash the same kind of tantrum. Truthfully, and I have no idea why, but I just picture these two with baseball bats running through the streets in a redhead celebrity riot knocking the hell out of anyone who gets in their way. No talking them down. Just run.