21 Reasons The World Did Not End Yesterday

All is calm, all is right.

The world NEEDS to see Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host the Golden Globes.

I still believe there is redemption somewhere down the line for Lindsay Lohan.

Knowing whether Daryl Dixon survives the Governor/Zombie Apocalypse will give us all a glimpse into whether or not we actually stand a chance when if it happens.

There’s a royal baby coming!

More Honey Boo Boo please.

My Verizon contract still has a year to go. God forbid I terminate it early.

All those Americans are waiting on Downton Abbey Season 3. 

You procrastinated on buying Christmas gifts thinking the world might end. Cruel joke...now get going!

The last Olympic Games we see should not be London’s.

There are still children for Brad and Angelina to adopt.

We still don’t know who the mother of Ted’s children are.

There are so many more things to do on my bucket list.

If we’re going out, it’s gonna be death by zombies, not Mayan calendar mistakes.

I want to see Notre Dame pull an upset and beat Bama.

Who am I kidding, Bama is gonna win and once again prove that the SEC rules.

It’s time to actually MAKE the things I’ve pinned on Pinterest.

I still have to finish my book.

I need to see Jessica Lange kick some ass on American Horror Story.

I kinda want to see Dexter get what’s coming to him.

I still hold out hope that one day Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds will get married!

No one can know the hour...

My Team-By Vicky

You’ve probably played it at least once.  We may call it something different, but I refer to it as “My Team.”  It may have been a Facebook game, you might have pondered it when you were watching Zombieland or considered the situation when debating whether or not to read Pride & Prejudice & Zombies .  Who you would want around you during a Zombie Apocalypse?  Who would you trust?  This hypothetical group usually consists of people you know and characters from movies/TV shows.  

I’ll give you an example, my example.  If the Zombie Apocalypse happened, I would want the following people on “My Team.”  

1. My husband, Paul.  He and I have discussed extensively about what would go down if one of us were bitten and we know what to do.  Say goodbye, I love you, and then it’s a bullet to the brain.  Don’t even let me turn.  We agree on this 100%.
2. My dogs, Chance and Reese.  They would protect us and keep us warm.  
3. My best friend, Natalie.  I would want her around at the end of the world.
4. My friend, Gary.  He’s a badass.  Enough said.
5. Another friend, Greyson.  Doctor and lifelong friend, check.
6. The group from Zombieland.  They are all awesome and hanging out with Emma Stone/Wichita wouldn’t suck.  
7. A few people I don’t care much about as bait.  (You know you need it, don’t judge me).
8. Daryl Dixon

Yup.

For those of you who don’t know, Daryl Dixon is a character on AMC’s The Walking Dead.  This is a show about zombies and the people who are left behind after the infection.  It is intense to say the least and though I am not a fan of gore and horror, the stories of the living are compelling.  I am absolutely obsessed, waiting all week for Sunday to roll around so I can found out what the hell is going to happen to my misfit band of zombie survivors.  

Daryl Dixon is my favorite character.  Warning, some spoilers ahead.  He started out with as a smaller role in Season One, but by Season Two he had become a part of the group and worked his way into my heart.  He is a badass, he cares despite himself, and he protects people who left his brother cuffed on top of a building for goodness sake.  He’s a southern boy who knows how to handle a crossbow and his determination to find Sophia was downright heartbreaking.  

Daryl has grown from the annoying little brother of bad-boy Merle to an important and intricate member of the group.  He has become Rick’s right hand man; he has taken on some of the burdens that have plagued the group and Rick relies on his skills and instinct more than anyone else in the group.  He had an intense moment in the woods during the search for Sophia, but came out better for it in the end.  I adore him and I would want him on my team, even if he was having a broody moment.

Truer words have never been memed.

So if you haven’t watched The Walking Dead and think that maybe you wouldn’t be interested, let me just tell you as a person who doesn’t like zombies and gore, it is a show worth watching.  The makeup alone is amazing, but the characters, storyline, and relatable fantasy really make it worth the watch.  So go on, it’s available on Netflix, On Demand, online.  Jump on the bandwagon and don’t be afraid, Daryl Dixon will protect you.

Just had to throw in one more picture...

Who would you want on “Your Team” for the Zombie Apocalypse?  Who’s your favorite character on The Walking Dead?  

Horrifying Hump Day: Zombie Apocalypse

Tell me that's not something you want to be prepared for.

It's not real. I mean, it can't happen. I know this. You know this. And yet, there are TV's, movies, websites, and books dedicated to the topic of the Zombie Apocalypse. It seeps into our conversations and even the subconscience. Today, I was walking through the hallway and saw a long-handled hammer, and I thought, "I could kill a zombie with that." Yep.

Average indeed.

I've thought a lot about zombies this year because in some ways being in a foreign country is like living in the zombie apocalypse. You are surrounded by people, but cannot communicate with most of them. Which means you cannot connect emotionally. And the few interactions you do have with people are usually a little terrifying. What do the want from me? What are they saying? Am I going to have to eat something weird?

Ok...maybe not terrifying.

See, just like in China.

I took a "Will you survive the Zombie Apocalypse" quiz...my results? I. Am. Legend. That's right. Of course, the quiz didn't ask about cardio...

I think our obsession with zombies plays on a few things that are central to our humanity.

First, the fact that they used to be us. That drooling, growling, bleeding creature in front of you resembles your mom. In fact, a few minutes ago, she was. But now she's a brainless killing machine. And she's probably going to try to kill you.

Secondly, zombies are a metaphor. Have you ever heard of groupthink? It's happening all over Facebook right now. Clicking like if you think Romney this, if you think Obama that. And the likes just keep adding up. It's a sad state of affairs when people stop using their brains and start "liking" things that really make no sense or have no actual foundation in truth. I don't want to get political, but I mean, we are zombies.

Exactly.

Thirdly, it gives us a chance to make those emotional breaks that hold us back in life. When you daydream about your ex deciding he's made a huge mistake and wants you back, it's hard to enjoy life to the fullest. But when that ex is oozing life threatening bacteria from his ears and missing an arm, it makes it a little easier to forget about him. Want a divorce? To move out of your parents' house? To get revenge on a back-stabbing friend? To stick it to the man? A zombie apocalypse solves all that. It's like free and very effective therapy with no lingering consequences, regrets, or baggage.

Fourthly, (I hate the word fourthly.)

Fifthly, you aren't that special. In a zombie apocalypse no one stands out. Everyone is cynical of everyone, there's no trust. In a zombie apocalypse there are no story toppers. Everyone has PTSD. No one cares about who you lost or who you loved or where you're from or what degrees you have. All those things that divide us now: sexuality, social status, education, religion, political affiliation, race...none of that matters in a zombie apocalypse...

Wow...that actually sounds really nice right about now...

Our Obsession With The Beautiful and The Bloody

If there's anything at all that we can credit the Twilight series for (other than the opportunity to look at Taylor Lautner's abs) it's that it brought about the revival of "monsters" in our "literature." I use quotes to emphasize the fact that I am letting monsters be an all encompassing term and more importantly to emphasize the fact that I do NOT consider Twilight, to be literature.


It's hard to trace the origin of the growing obsession with zombies, vampires, and more. Or maybe it's not hard at all, maybe I'm just lazy. I speculate that each generation has its own introduction to the undead. Maybe a movie, a TV show, or a book breaks through to the mainstream and before long there's a full blown period of obsession. Even though these things come and go in cycles, I think it's fair to say that our most recent items in pop-culture have brought us face to face with a new level of obsession. Even in China, my students cannot get enough of vampires and zombies. We are infiltrated with The Vampire Diaries, The Twilight movies, Jennifer's Body, The Walking Dead, Zombieland, True Blood, The Cabin in The Woods, Dark Shadows, Daybreakers, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,
Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters, Resident Evil, Gossip Girl...oh wait...that's a whole other kind of monster.


Last weekend the movie, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter came out in theaters. Now of course, I haven't seen it, but I was surprised at how many of my friends seemed interested in the film. Our society is so ripe for it, that if this movie fails it will be simply because it takes itself too seriously or doesn't deliver a clever twist.

Just a sampling of the comments on my "how will i survive the zombie apocalypse in China" picture I drew recently.

I have some theories that are much too complex for this blog about how in times of uncertainty, bad economy, bad politics, polarized ethics, and war, our culture tends to embrace this kind of entertainment. We need a clear and common enemy. Vampires and zombies are about as clear as you can get. They will eat you and me and everyone we know...we must work together! It really is something we can all get behind. It's something that you can't help but think about if you are at all plugged into TV or Movies. Sure it seems silly and extreme, and maybe some of it is all in fun, but it never hurts to have a plan. There are entire websites dedicated to surviving the impending doom. Also, Bangor Maine decided to do this recently. We really are a culture obsessed.


So what is it about these monsters that gets us so caught up? I propose three things:
1. We are fascinated with the concepts of death and living forever. 
It's true, no one really wants to die. And if someone you love dies, it's a fabulous thought to consider that they might come back. We love ghost stories and hauntings. Our history is steeped in them. I think it's because no matter what our religious beliefs, ultimately what happens after we die is unknown. Vampires and zombies play on our greatest fears, because they are dead and yet undead. They are enemies yet we want to be them. They are mythical and have origins that go so deep into our past that it's hard to just pack them away in the name of "that could never happen" or "you know better" statements.

Bite me. No, really, please, bite me.

2. Vampires live the lives we want to live.
From perfectly pale skin and ruby red lips to glowing eyes, Vampires look good. Even before Edward sparkled, vampires have always been beautiful. It's one of the reasons they make our skin crawl. To see something so stunning react in such a primal way and end up with blood all over its face is a frightening image, and yet one we see a lot. They are so beautiful these days that my friends and I have joked in regards to Twilight and TrueBlood...I wouldn't mind having one of THOSE vampires bite me. Even the environments of vampires are better than ours. I saw Daybreakers yesterday and was very aware of the minimalist modern furniture in the home of the vampires. They have had hundreds of years to make money and they all seem to be rich. It's proven by the sleek lines and impressive technology that each vampire seems to have access to. Who doesn't want to live at the Cullen's house? And even digging back to Interview with a Vampire, Louis and LeStat live lives of pure glamour. And lastly, they live it forever. At first you might deny that you would be interested in life forever. But think about it. Say you get to be 25 forever and with access to all that money and those looks? You could do all of the things you never got to do. Admit it, it's appealing.

Suddenly your mother in law doesn't seem so bad huh?

3. Zombies make us like each other better.
We are not very likable at times. We think too much or feel too much. We piss each other off and hurt each other's feelings. We get jealous and betray each other. Sometimes the only thing we have going for us is the fact we are not trying to eat each other, and in recent weeks even that seems to be up for grabs. Humans suck. EXCEPT when faced with zombies. Then...we are the shit. Nothing makes you appreciate your fellow man (woman) more than being chased by a bloody mindless body with one goal, to eat you. As we've seen in The Walking Dead, Zombieland, and other zombie classics, people tend to pull together and the best in all of us comes out when there is a mob of the risen dead chasing you. It also teaches us to cut our losses and fast when we are watching zombie entertainment. So your boyfriend was talking to you about forever a few minutes ago then he got bit and now he's passed out. You know what you have to do. Sure it's hard to say goodbye, but ultimately it's just somebody that you used to know and it's time to shoot him in the head. No room for that kind of baggage. In the midst of a zombie apocalypse you will be thrilled to see your high school rival or Ann Coulter even. You won't mind snuggling up to that homeless man to stay warm. When zombies attack we have a common enemy, and that makes us all friends, right?