Cabin In The Woods: Take 2

Ok, so I re-watched Cabin In The Woods. I wasn't going to, but so many people that I respect seemed to like it, and so I thought...maybe I missed something. 

Turns out, I did. 

See...I'm a multi-tasker by nature. Usually when I sit and watch movies, I am also blogging, researching, chatting, and eating...though I probably could have not told you about that last one. My students here in China have downloaded a program on my computer that is basically a search engine for movies. Given that China really has no problems pirating American films, I get to watch a LOT of stuff for free. So on my Chinese computer, I watch movies, and on this one, I do this. But the movies on the Chinese computer aren't always great. Sometimes the subtitles get in the way of the action. Other times they are recorded right from the theater. That was the case with Cabin in the Woods. And since I hated the way it began, I think somewhere in all of that, I tuned out.

But I tuned back in recently and rented it on iTunes and stopped everything to really watch it. And it turns out, I liked it better. I appreciated what they were doing with it. The meta stuff that bothered me before was a little more fun the second time around. In fact, I think it ended up being pretty solid. I especially like the ending where they are discussing the "evil gods" and how the sun will rise in 8 minutes. It stands to reason that maybe they are talking about...us...the audience. I mean, we love horror movies, and 8 minutes after that is spoken, the movie ends...lights come up in the theater. Of course they could be referring to movie producers/studios...yeah...let's go with that. Much more evil. At any rate, this meta part of the movie was kind of fun.

Who is more likely the virgin...come on...

Except for 1 thing...

I would have changed the ending. Spoilers coming now:

So we learn that the death of the "virgin" is optional in a movie, and at the end we are left with the girl who is somewhat innocent and sweet even though we know is not a virgin from the very beginning of the movie. Sigourney Weaver explains this by pointing out that they "work with what they have." And we are left with the guy who is the "fool" the drunk, high, nerd boy who is responsible for comedy relief. So the two are both left and the boy has to die in order to keep the "evil gods" from getting mad and destroying the Earth. The girl's death is optional...because she is the "virgin." The two have a moment where she is about to shoot him, but then she is attacked by a werewolf and there's some struggle and Sigourney Weaver and werewolf end up dying. SO...now we are back to just the two, and again, to save the Earth we think that the boy must die. EXCEPT WHAT IF HE TURNS TO HER WITH THE GUN POINTED AND SAYS, "I'M THE VIRGIN!" Boom. He kills her and the world is saved. Because let's face it, he was a much more believable virgin than the girl who we KNOW has had sex. And yes, I get that they are just icons of the greater "formulas" of horror movies, but if you really wanted to meta it out and then twist it up on its end, I think my ending would have ruled. Instead...they sit there, smoke some pot and wait for the world to end. Where are the convictions of these young horror movie characters these days!

So, Cabin in the Woods...worth a watch. Just don't blame me if you aren't thrilled with the ending. I would have obviously opted for something different. 

Who wants to see the movie with MY ending on it!?