Pop-Culture Attack

I slept 11 hours last night. It was awesome. Except that when I woke up, I woke up to a different pop-culture world than the one I fell asleep in. 


Adele is pregnant. I mean, yay! Except is Adele ready for a baby? I know, I know, no one's ever really ready. So will this change her career? I know, I know, it has to. Not even Adele can have it all. Or can she? 

Woah Baby!

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are divorcing. YAY! Have they only been together for 5 years? Cause it feels like 10 at least. I bet it felt that way to Katie too. I am shocked not because I thought their relationship was so great, but because I am surprised she was allowed out. I hear she is going to fight for custody of Suri. I think a paternity test should be in order. We all know Tom is a hermaphrodite and that is NOT his kid.  It appears that her filing was a surprise to him. Does that scare anyone else? Cause he's not rational. Can we get a security detail on Suri/Katie please?

She looks terrified.

Magic Mike is in theaters rendering all of my friends 14 year old girls. I am just jealous I'm sure. It will be months before I can enjoy this ab-fest. So if anyone wants to write a review or has something to say about the movie, by all means, let me know and we will get a guest post up in here.


Lindsay Lohan...sigh...apparently did a photo shoot where she held a gun to her face/put it in her mouth. COME ON LINDSAY! Didn't you read my letter!

"Great picture," said no one ever.

And lastly, Jennifer Lawrence was seen flirting with John Mayer, which in my book just means she's entered womanhood. But you know how up in arms everyone gets about John Mayer. Do you think he has a scavenger hunt list of women to be seen with? Like it's all just a game for him? Also why does everyone like the song, Daughters?

Mulligan!

I need a do over. 


A few weeks ago I made some claims about Carey Mulligan when I wrote this blog about the upcoming Great Gatsby movie. I was less than thrilled that she had been chosen for the role of Daisy, because I see Daisy as someone strikingly, almost breathtakingly beautiful in a very conventional plastic kind of way. I think I mentioned January Jones would have been better. 


Then I saw the movie Never Let Me Go. It's a dystopian movie about people who are cloned and born for one reason and one reason only, to serve as organ donors until they die. It's a quiet and devastating movie, but I loved it. Carey Mulligan stars with Andrew Garfield and Kiera Knightly in it. And when I say stars, I mean she is the star. She steals the screen in every scene. 

Windows to the soul.

I need to watch more of her movies, and I want to watch them now that I have seen her in action. She reminds me of Juliette Binoche in the way that she is able to communicate so much with a twitch of her mouth or slight raise of an eyebrow. And I think I understand why she was chosen to play Daisy. Because as shallow as Daisy might appear to be, she is deeply sad. And if there's one thing that Mulligan can portray, it's sadness. 


I pre-judged her, and I'm not afraid to say it. My newfound admiration for her has increased my excitement about Gatsby. I cannot wait.


Now Andrew Garfield on the other hand....I'm not ready to make nice on that one.

You Call THAT An Ending!?

It takes a lot to make a really good movie. It takes very little to ruin one. How many times have you been to a movie that you thought had great potential only to have the ending absolutely suck? I'm not referring to the obvious sad endings like Braveheart or Gladiator or even Titanic. Those endings are at least well thought out. I'm talking about those movies when someone decides to slap an ending on it that really makes very little sense with the rest of what you've been shown. I'm not sure why this happens, though I do have some theories about what must go through the minds of movie makers in these moments:

1. We're tired, let's just do this thing before we waste anymore time or money.

2. Everyone will want it to end this way, so let's just do it.

3. Everyone will want it to end this way, so let's do the opposite.

4. Everyone will expect it to end this way, so let's throw them a curve ball.
5. We have lost all touch with real audiences and have no clue what people want anymore.


Most movies that struggle in this area fall into the romantic comedy or suspense genres. I have all but stopped watching rom-coms, so that one doesn't bother me much. But suspense is my first love! I crave a movie that builds tension and drops in seemingly random things only to have them all come together in one unexpected swoop at the end. Some of my favorites off the top of my head are The Others, Se7en, Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Shutter Island, The Prestige, The Usual Suspects, and Primal Fear.  Each of these movies offer a shocking twist or at least a clever closed circuit that calls upon the most intricate details of the movie in order to deliver a truly great ending.


It's rare though. And more times than not Hollwood gets it wrong. Here are some movies that managed to be ruined in their final minutes. Oh and seeing as how I will be discussing ENDINGS, there will be spoilers ahead.

The aliens can't afford the rent on this side of town!

1. War of the Worlds
We stuck around through a terrifying alien attack and watched the way chaos turns humans into horrific animals. Tom Cruise was even bearable in this one, and yet suddenly when we should have been given no reason to hope, we find out that as long as you live in a brownstone in a high end area of a major metropolis, you'll probably survive. The ending is made worse by a voice over explaining the strangely optimistic "cure" in a matter of a few seconds.

And then the slinky attacked him...yeah...let's end it like that!

2. The Number 23, Secret Window, Hide and Seek, and many many more...
It's a tired trick. Psycho did it first and best. And while other movies have pulled it off, many have not. The main character is living some delusion, maybe has a split personality or something and is the culprit/killer/bad guy. The problem with the above three I've listed is that you don't expect the ending to be bad because of the actors who are in the movies: Jim Carrey, Robert DeNiro, and Johnny Depp. But in truth, all three are in a long line of lacking and sorely disappointing movies that claim this "trick" ending.

It goes downhill from here. 

3. The Village
It's true that M. Night Shyamalan has done some great things for movie making. I was his loyal fan until this one. And honestly, this particular movie did pull me in with all the right silences and colors and terrifying moments. But in the end, I felt ripped off. I don't find the paved road exciting, I just find it blah. Of course we all know that Shyamalan hasn't pulled off another decent twist ending since this attempt. It's too bad because when he was hot, he was on fire!

Can you just arrest him and call it a day?

4. Zodiac
I should have known better. I should have done my research. How horrible to sit through such an intense and scary movie about a serial killer only to never have a resolution. The only thing that's worse is that it happened that way in real life.

Dear Amanda, even Jennifer's Body will be better than this movie. 

5. Letters to Juliet
I don't even remember why I hate this movie other than the fact that this old lady kept brushing Amanda Seyfried's hair. Weird. I didn't bother refreshing myself on this movie, I'm just certain that I hated the ending.

What is your least favorite movie ending?

Our Obsession With The Beautiful and The Bloody

If there's anything at all that we can credit the Twilight series for (other than the opportunity to look at Taylor Lautner's abs) it's that it brought about the revival of "monsters" in our "literature." I use quotes to emphasize the fact that I am letting monsters be an all encompassing term and more importantly to emphasize the fact that I do NOT consider Twilight, to be literature.


It's hard to trace the origin of the growing obsession with zombies, vampires, and more. Or maybe it's not hard at all, maybe I'm just lazy. I speculate that each generation has its own introduction to the undead. Maybe a movie, a TV show, or a book breaks through to the mainstream and before long there's a full blown period of obsession. Even though these things come and go in cycles, I think it's fair to say that our most recent items in pop-culture have brought us face to face with a new level of obsession. Even in China, my students cannot get enough of vampires and zombies. We are infiltrated with The Vampire Diaries, The Twilight movies, Jennifer's Body, The Walking Dead, Zombieland, True Blood, The Cabin in The Woods, Dark Shadows, Daybreakers, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,
Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters, Resident Evil, Gossip Girl...oh wait...that's a whole other kind of monster.


Last weekend the movie, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter came out in theaters. Now of course, I haven't seen it, but I was surprised at how many of my friends seemed interested in the film. Our society is so ripe for it, that if this movie fails it will be simply because it takes itself too seriously or doesn't deliver a clever twist.

Just a sampling of the comments on my "how will i survive the zombie apocalypse in China" picture I drew recently.

I have some theories that are much too complex for this blog about how in times of uncertainty, bad economy, bad politics, polarized ethics, and war, our culture tends to embrace this kind of entertainment. We need a clear and common enemy. Vampires and zombies are about as clear as you can get. They will eat you and me and everyone we know...we must work together! It really is something we can all get behind. It's something that you can't help but think about if you are at all plugged into TV or Movies. Sure it seems silly and extreme, and maybe some of it is all in fun, but it never hurts to have a plan. There are entire websites dedicated to surviving the impending doom. Also, Bangor Maine decided to do this recently. We really are a culture obsessed.


So what is it about these monsters that gets us so caught up? I propose three things:
1. We are fascinated with the concepts of death and living forever. 
It's true, no one really wants to die. And if someone you love dies, it's a fabulous thought to consider that they might come back. We love ghost stories and hauntings. Our history is steeped in them. I think it's because no matter what our religious beliefs, ultimately what happens after we die is unknown. Vampires and zombies play on our greatest fears, because they are dead and yet undead. They are enemies yet we want to be them. They are mythical and have origins that go so deep into our past that it's hard to just pack them away in the name of "that could never happen" or "you know better" statements.

Bite me. No, really, please, bite me.

2. Vampires live the lives we want to live.
From perfectly pale skin and ruby red lips to glowing eyes, Vampires look good. Even before Edward sparkled, vampires have always been beautiful. It's one of the reasons they make our skin crawl. To see something so stunning react in such a primal way and end up with blood all over its face is a frightening image, and yet one we see a lot. They are so beautiful these days that my friends and I have joked in regards to Twilight and TrueBlood...I wouldn't mind having one of THOSE vampires bite me. Even the environments of vampires are better than ours. I saw Daybreakers yesterday and was very aware of the minimalist modern furniture in the home of the vampires. They have had hundreds of years to make money and they all seem to be rich. It's proven by the sleek lines and impressive technology that each vampire seems to have access to. Who doesn't want to live at the Cullen's house? And even digging back to Interview with a Vampire, Louis and LeStat live lives of pure glamour. And lastly, they live it forever. At first you might deny that you would be interested in life forever. But think about it. Say you get to be 25 forever and with access to all that money and those looks? You could do all of the things you never got to do. Admit it, it's appealing.

Suddenly your mother in law doesn't seem so bad huh?

3. Zombies make us like each other better.
We are not very likable at times. We think too much or feel too much. We piss each other off and hurt each other's feelings. We get jealous and betray each other. Sometimes the only thing we have going for us is the fact we are not trying to eat each other, and in recent weeks even that seems to be up for grabs. Humans suck. EXCEPT when faced with zombies. Then...we are the shit. Nothing makes you appreciate your fellow man (woman) more than being chased by a bloody mindless body with one goal, to eat you. As we've seen in The Walking Dead, Zombieland, and other zombie classics, people tend to pull together and the best in all of us comes out when there is a mob of the risen dead chasing you. It also teaches us to cut our losses and fast when we are watching zombie entertainment. So your boyfriend was talking to you about forever a few minutes ago then he got bit and now he's passed out. You know what you have to do. Sure it's hard to say goodbye, but ultimately it's just somebody that you used to know and it's time to shoot him in the head. No room for that kind of baggage. In the midst of a zombie apocalypse you will be thrilled to see your high school rival or Ann Coulter even. You won't mind snuggling up to that homeless man to stay warm. When zombies attack we have a common enemy, and that makes us all friends, right?

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield

So there was some article the other day about how Andrew decided that Emma was right for him. Um...that's great Andrew but we really wanna know how Emma decided that YOU were right for her.

Please let that be a wig over your gorgeous red hair.

I'm having a hard time embracing this couple. Sure, Andrew is the new Spiderman, but why do we need a new Spiderman already? I mean, is Tobey Maguire even 30 yet? Oh, he's 36? Well, that's depressing. And what has Andrew really even done? The Social Network? Big deal. And sure he's got okay-face, but he's so so skinny. And he has a huge head on that tiny body. Plus does he seem whiny to you? He seems whiny to me.

I think she's looking for someone better.

Meanwhile Emma is adorable. She's smart, her roles are vast and brilliant, and her career is promising. Her SNL appearances have been spot on. And she's adorable. Did I mention that? I mean, I want her a hundred miles away from Jim Carrey and his weird obsession with her. But it would be nice to see her with someone like...Chace Crawford or Josh Hartnett (he's still alive, right?)

I'm just not sure I can get on board with this. 

What do you think? Can you convince me? 

How NOT To Be On Nancy Grace

I've been watching a lot of crime shows lately. Criminal Minds, Law and Order (SVU), and I am considering starting...(swallow) Castle. Even though I think it's a campy rip off of Moonlighting and the premise itself is ridiculous. A writer being allowed to "help" solve cases! Yeah right. 


It's impossible to watch these shows and manage to avoid seeing the similarities to real life famous cases. There are constant comparisons between the fictional crimes they are investigating to those of high profile cases of the past 50 years. When I think of these media storms, one name comes to mind...Nancy Grace.

You do NOT want to cross this woman. 

Nancy Grace isn't kidding around. Her most recent rampage was directed at Casey Anthony, who was on trial for the murder of her daughter. She is famous for her thick southern accent that delivers her rhetorical and over the top verbal beatings, and of course the entertainment value of her rants. She likes to promote that she is concerned with victim's rights, and often creates more drama than is necessary surrounding any given case. It's working for her. The bottom line is that she is very concerned with making sure criminals get what's coming to them and that victims get vindicated.


A friend of mine suggested the other day that I write a blog about Nancy Grace and these crime shows I've been watching. (I love blog suggestions.) I wasn't sure where to start though.


Criminal Minds, SVU, and other crime dramas are enjoyable to watch because they are formulaic. Watch them enough and you start to get the timing down, you realize that defining lines get said at the same time by the same character in each episode, you start to pick up on whether or not the victim will live or die, and whether or not the criminal will be convicted, captured, or escape. It's a 40 minute roller coaster that you've ridden before. That's part of the fun of these shows. You come in watching what would ordinarily be a terrifying situation but because you've figured out the formula, you feel like you have a sense of power over it.  


I have no idea if these situations translate to real life, but based on what I have seen in my last few weeks of crime drama, I've compiled two lists of ways to avoid having your name come out of Nancy Grace's mouth. Because whether you're the bad guy or the victim, it's just a good idea to avoid being mentioned on her show.


How NOT to be a victim:
Don't go jogging.
Don't even wear work out clothes.
Don't be a blonde.
Don't have hair at all.
Don't be a kid.
If you have to be a kid, leash yourself to your parents.
If you leash yourself to your parents, make sure they are not crazy.
Don't live in the suburbs.
Don't live in the midwest.
Don't go from one room to another in your house.
If you go from one room to another, don't look in the mirror when you get to the second room.
Don't be rich.
Don't drink wine.


How NOT to be a bad guy:
Don't have access to a dungeon, a concrete hole, or any dark damp place.
Don't be anti-social.
Don't be a momma's boy.
Don't have daddy issues.
If you do have any issues, resolve them ASAP.
Don't have a nagging wife who tries to control you.
Don't own random tools.
Don't own a truck or a van.
Don't wear black.
Don't wear boots.
Don't get bullied as a child.
If you do get bullied, channel your anger into being the next Steve Jobs.
Don't be overly religious.


And in the spirit of staying out of all kinds of trouble, here are the famous words of 30 Rock's Jack Donaghy...

What's your plan for avoiding attention from Nancy Grace?

Getting Lost and Getting Found

Each week I check iTunes to download their free song of the week and see what their $.99 rental is. Most of the time this is a great way to discover an up and coming band or see a movie I've never heard of. This week, the movie was The Way.

Don't choose a life, live one.

The Way is a film about a doctor (Martin Sheen) who gets a call that his son (Emilio Estevez) has died while traveling in Spain. Through a series of flashbacks, we see that they were slightly estranged, choosing to live their lives in different ways. Sheen's character goes to Spain to collect the body of his son, only to find out that he was on a pilgrimage called El Camino de Santiago, (The Way of St. James). Sheen decides that he will finish this journey in honor of his son. The story goes on from there as Sheen starts the walk and meets up with some interesting people along The Way. It's a very simple plot, great characters, and I really enjoyed it. 

Of course, I always enjoy a good journey story. You know, one that not only takes a character from Point A to Point B physically, but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Maybe it's my love for travel and maps, my growing wanderlust, or my need to discover new things within myself. Here are a few of my favorite movies (with brief and possibly vague notes) that cover quite a bit of distance in more ways than one.

Happiness is only real when shared.

Into the Wild- Eddie Vedder does most of the soundtrack which is great for immersing you into the scenery from the movie. Catherine Keener is awesome. Beautifully tragic movie that teaches, no matter how far you go, no matter how much you want to get away, you really do need people.

Super Freak.

Little Miss Sunshine- Has a family ever loved a little girl this much? One can only hope. This family is wrought with dysfunction but for the sake of Olive and her dream of being in a pageant, they set it all aside and do what they can to support her.

Flying solo.

Up In The Air- "Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components in your life." Considering that Clooney's character starts with a monologue including the that quote, in this movie he covers a lot more emotional distance than air miles.

He's off the map!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- It's hard for me to talk about this one in sport spurts because it's my very favorite movie. But it is about a journey that Joel (Jim Carrey) takes through Joel's mind as he to try to forget his ex, Clementine (Kate Winslet). Of course it's hard to tell how much the characters actually change in this movie in light of where it begins and ends, but I think it's safe to say, it's definitely about a journey.

As I'm typing this I am thinking of so many more that could be included. Here are a few I am conflicted about:

I will not die today!

The Beach has so much potential, showing beautiful scenery, and perpetuating the dream of truly going off the grid, living simply. But it always loses me in the last 30 minutes of the movie by going into video game mode...?

Probably the first piece of pizza she's had in years.

Eat, Pray Love is one of those that seems like the greatest formula. And what a great title with words and countries like that it could have been such a wonderful approach to a soul-searching journey. But it becomes so obvious that soul searching is not her goal, she just wants to find a "better" man. Yes, I've read the book, I know about Committed. I get it. I'm just not impressed. And honestly, as hard as this is to admit about my dear Julia Roberts, the movie was a little boring.

Best. Gift. Ever.

Elizabethtown was practically a Garden State rip-off in most ways, but at the end there's a great little road trip that Orlando Bloom takes. It's really sweet and meaningful and I would like to design a trip like that for someone some day. You think I could get paid for that?

What are some of your favorite movies that revolve around a Journey? A road trip? Travel and Searching? 

If I Could Be A Superhero, I'd Be Adele

Not only did Adele help you (and me, and everyone we know) through that last break up.... 
Not only has she repurposed plus size as sexy (I owe her personal thanks for that one).... 
Not only does she sing like an angel with an attitude....
But NOW Adele is also a Superhero. 


That might be slightly exaggerated. At the very least she is the catalyst of a recent medical miracle. Did you hear about this?  A 7 year old British girl was in a coma after suffering a rare brain hemorrhage. Her mother curled up beside her in the bed and Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" came on the radio. The mom started singing and before long, the little girl was smiling. Now she's back in school and dance class. What the what!

It looks like she's an Angel, but this is really her Superhero cape...a nice soft sweater.

If this doesn't give Adele Superhero status, can we at least verb her name? 
Adele: 
Definition: To wake from a coma upon hearing Adele's music. 
Example Sentences:
"We were so glad she Adeled! It was really a miracle."
"The doctors said that short of Adeling, there was really no chance he would wake from the coma."
"The family gathered around and prayed for their mother to Adele."
"The people in rehab tried to Adele Lindsay Lohan out of her craziness."
(It's worth a try...)


So it needs a little refining, but if this kind of thing happens again, you mark my words, Adele is gonna verb. (And in a positive way, not the Urban Dictionary snarky way that pokes fun at her weight and her tendency to sing about fruitless behaviors.)


So maybe it's a coincidence, but you can bank on this: If one of my loved ones is EVER in a coma, I WILL bust out the Adele music so fast and sing at the top of my lungs with all the passion I can muster, "YOU HAVE MY HEART AND SOOOUUUL IN YOUR HANDS...." 


Cause you just never know...

My other super power is that I can burn rain.

My 5 Favorite Moments in Musicals

This past weekend Rock of Ages hit the big screen. Unfortunately most of the reviews have been negative. I can't help but think these opinions are from people who either don't enjoy musicals or people who don't enjoy the 80's. There are a lot of both kinds of people out there. Rock of Ages was facing an uphill battle before it ever hit theaters. Of course, the thing that people tend to forget about both musicals and the 80's is that they are/were completely over the top and cheesy, and that's what is/was so great about them!


I haven't seen Rock of Ages, on stage or on screen, but I do love the cast of the film and cannot imagine that I would leave the theater with anything other than a huge smile. Just thinking about it makes me want to crank up the soundtracks to some of my favorite musicals and re-watch my favorite scenes from them. I recognize that what I'm about to do could be polarizing and cause great debates, but I just have to go out on a limb and give you my top 5 musical moments (on stage or film).

Puerto Rico...America...wherever Rita Moreno is, that's where I wanna be!

5. West Side Story-America-Movie
I can pretty much recite every note to this musical from the beginning whistles to the ending overture. Many of the musicals of the last 20 years have easter eggs in their lyrics that shout out directly to this masterpiece. The Romeo and Juliet story is tragic, but there is one moment in this musical that is so full of fun (and cultural awareness) that it stands out for me. The song "America" starts out like any conversation between friends that soon turns into a playful pissing match. The young men and women from Puerto Rico "argue" back and forth about the pros and cons of being in America. The men take the side that they are mistreated, the women promote that it's full of opportunity for them. The result is an upbeat dance number with hilarious rhyming one liners exposing the lingering racism and hopeful promise of the "land of the free." It's beautifully choreographed, brilliantly written, and maybe the last moment of pure happiness in the musical.

Hide your face so the world will never find you!

4. Phantom of the Opera-Masquerade-Stage
I've seen POTO on stage about 7 times. It's the only musical I've seen on Broadway. I will always take the opportunity to see it if it plays near me. It's magical from the first bang on the auction block to the last decrescendo of the minor to major chord progression. And the fact it's about theater gives it another layer of complexity. The ballads are unforgettable, the lyrics and overlapping melody in "Notes" is maybe one of the greatest musical feats ever completed, but the most fabulous and breathtaking scene in the musical is "Masquerade." The colorful and ornate costumes and sheer size of the cast is overwhelming. But what really does it, is the moment the cast breaks out singing in unison, the orchestra falls away, letting the voices boom out, punctuated by a bass drum and high trumpet. The scene is truly phenomenal. And just at the height, the Phantom enters breaking up the celebration with his demands for a new opera. Chilling. I couldn't find a video for this one that I could embed here. So Youtube it yourselves here!

I guess an 8th sibling would mess up that perfect staging.

3. The Sound of Music-So Long, Farewell-Movie
I had a great childhood. It was easy, trauma free other than the occasional cut or scrape, and full of love. But I would have traded it all to be one of the Von Trapp siblings with a nanny like Julie Andrews (as Maria OR Mary Poppins). It's hard to choose just one scene from this musical that encapsulates the greatness of Maria. "My Favorite Things" displays her kindness after the kids are so mean to her. "Do-Re-Mi" might prove that she's the best teacher ever. And "The Lonely Goatherd" is the most fun anyone has ever had in a musical. But "So Long, Farewell" is kind of every kid's fantasy. You show up at your dad's dinner party, put on a little show, and have every grown-up in the room respond to you. How many times did my cousin and brother and I attempt this feat? Hundreds. But it never quite went down as sweet as this.

To going against the grain, going insane, going mad!

2. Rent-La Vie Boheme-Either
I loved Rent the first time I heard the music, but when I learned the story of Jonathan Larson, the creator of the musical, it became my favorite hands down. Never has a life purpose been so clear, Larson lived so Rent would be written. The content is raw and in your face as it deals with AIDS, drugs, homosexuality, and the gap between the squatting poor and corporate America. It's the story of struggling artists trying to make their way in life without selling out to a 9-5 job that will just pay the damn rent. I get that struggle. I respect it. A lot of sad things happen in this musical, but right after a successful night of protest, the gang of friends goes to the local diner to celebrate with wine and beer, and are met with a former friend who has sold out. That's where "La Vie Boheme" begins, citing every fabulous thing that this subculture stands for from "Sondheim to Sontag to anything taboo." There are entire websites dedicated to this song and the many references in it. Some might think it's offensive, after all it does quote the Bible in ways you might not have heard before, but it's definitely an unforgettable moment in the musical. Oh, and if you don't know the story behind Rent and Jonathan Larson, go read about it right now. Go. Now. No day, but today.

And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free!

1. Wicked-Defying Gravity-Stage
I will gladly admit I have a thing for Idina Menzel. In Rent, in Wicked, in Glee...in anything. But her best role is this one. The story of Wicked is kind of the story of my life. I am not a witch, I'm nothing you've heard...(sorry, a little political humor there...) But seriously, I can relate to having the right motives, the right goals, and being completely misunderstood in the process of getting there. I am Elphaba. If you've seen the musical, then you know there is nothing that compares to the moment when Elphaba and Galinda are trying to decide how to proceed with the information they have about the Wizard. "Defying Gravity" is the song they sing before they part ways, realizing that while they want the same thing, their methods of achieving justice are vastly different. Just as Elphaba is about to be seized by the guards who are after her, she mounts her broom and is raised up into the sky. The lighting and costume make her seem all powerful in that moment, and she belts out the most remarkable ending to any Act I, I have ever seen as she becomes the "Wicked" Witch.

Go ahead...I know you don't agree with me, so name yours. 

What's your favorite scene in a musical? Tell me all about it!

Gwyneth Paltrow's goop Is Adorable

Have you heard of Gwyneth Paltrow's "lifestyle company" goop? I wasn't exactly sure what a "lifestyle company" was supposed to consist of, so when a friend of mine shared a link promoting goop a few weeks ago, I had no clue what to expect when I clicked. goop is not new, in fact it's been around since 2008, and has most widely been recognized as an easy target for anyone looking to pick on Paltrow or point out how removed from reality she is. We'll talk more about that in a minute.


I think it's really important before you check out goop, that you examine your feelings about G. Pal. I happen to enjoy her. My introduction to her was in Hook, but I stuck around through her Sliding Doors, Great Expectations, and Hush days, and finally to Shakespeare in Love and The Talented Mr. Ripley. By the time she appeared in the extremely hilarious but little appreciated View From The Top, I was a sold out fan. Her versatility as an actress is impressive enough, but it's more than that; I just like her.

I want to create something that will change the world. I shall call it...goop.

When she did the duet "Cruisin'" with Huey Lewis, it became my favorite song for a while. Do I think she's an amazing vocalist, nope, but her voice is clear, on pitch, and low enough for me to sing along with, and Huey Lewis is my man, so naturally I could respect her early attempt at a singing career. When she married the lead singer of Coldplay, Chris Martin, I was only jealous for a little while. When they named their baby, Apple, my admiration took a brief hiatus. Come on, no one's perfect.


So now you realize that the Paltrow pump was primed for me to enjoy goop. But I can see how someone who does not enjoy her might think that goop is just another display of celebrity narcissism. With some products, if you don't buy into the person, it's hard to buy into the brand. For example, I am convinced that ProActiv doesn't work because I think Jessica Simpson is stupid. And due to my extreme aversion to vikings, I will never own a Capital One card.


If you do find yourself at peace with Gwyneth and decide to venture into goop, I think you'll find it is actually kind of fun. For starters, the appearance and layout is super simple and appealing. Lots of pictures, not too many words. Little icons float across the top of the page, each one standing for a category that you will find on goop. I have attempted to summarize them below:

Make-Recipes for foods that no one in your house will eat

Go-Travel to places you will most likely never go

Get-Products you will want but cannot afford to buy

Do-DIY which translates to watching someone else do something for you

Be-Wellness tips for losing those 2 pounds or getting in touch with your inner goddess

See-A catch-all highlighting anything that doesn't clearly fit into one of the above categories

Ok, that was snarky. But that's how you will read them if you're not careful. The truth is, I love getting a glimpse into this type of upper crust living. Haven't you seen my obsession with Gossip Girl and Revenge?

You had me at "cultural notes."

Anyway, you can sign up to receive the weekly newsletter or just visit the website at your leisure. I signed up just to see what would happen. My first newsletter came last week and it was detailing the various ways that famous hotels around the world make beds. The first thing I noticed is that I would never be able to afford staying at these hotels. That is, not until I write my first (50) best-selling books. I will also never need to know how to make a "hospital corner" or recognize the importance of the right amount of moisture in order to get that perfectly crisp sheet. There were videos to help me fully understand these "bedding recipes." I sat through every single one, fascinated that bedding recipes are a thing, and wondering how to doctor up my own straw mattress situation while here in China.


Ok, ok, so goop is not Pinterest, and it's not even on par with Oprah's website or magazine, O. Pinterest offers legitimate trendy tips based on real life experiences that are usually tried out by people who live on a budget. Oprah might seem to be a natural well of deep wisdom, but even she knows when to bring in an actual licensed professional. These two are clearly legit and have their places in the world.

How funny! When I'm not doing pilates or walking red carpets, I spend my days just like this.

But that's part of what makes Gwyneth Paltrow's goop so adorable. She has no clue that her advice, her "lifestyle" is not accessible to 99% of the people in this world. She grew up immersed in a rich and famous culture and knows nothing different. goop is her way of sharing what she knows. It's really no different than your blog, or diary of your experiences. That is, if your blog or diary were written between daily massages with a Montblanc pen while Chris Martin sings a love song to you on the 900 thread count sheets you share with him. Yes, she has a good life, and yes she seems to believe wholeheartedly that you will just LOVE her little known tips that she has learned while doing the kind of living that she does.


And THAT is really what's at the core of my thoughts about Paltrow. She has all the trappings of this perfect life, and yet she so clearly has a blind spot when it comes to how the world really works. I think I can relate to that blind spot thing. But as far as goop goes, it's like watching a baby kissing "another baby" in the mirror, or watching a dog chase his tail. Do you shake the baby or hold the dog accountable for their ridiculous actions, or do you grab the video camera and film it, laugh with friends, and ooh and ahh over how cute it is? Exactly. No need to tell Gwyneth she's living in a fantasy world. Just try enjoy her for who she is.

What do you think about Gwyneth? 

What do you think about goop? What other celebrities come across as totally out of touch with reality?

The Hitchcock Of The Walk: A Tribute To My Father

When you finish watching a guilty pleasure show like Gossip Girl, it's only right that you watch something with substantially brilliant writing and content to regain your sense of what is good and what is...well, a guilty pleasure. This last week I really needed something with substance and class. So many movies today are what I call "multi-tasking movies." You know the ones. You can watch the first five minutes of them to learn the characters voices and then clean your apartment or write an essay or talk on the phone and still understand the entire premise without missing a thing. That's how a lot of movies are these days, and I really resent it. Ahem, excuse me, my movie snob is showing.


Lucky for me, my dad is a movie buff. He's just a movie buff from a few generations back. It takes me, my brother, and my mother convincing him these days to go see a movie, except on Christmas Day, and then it's our tradition, so he knows he has to go. But at home, he's always watching some black and white flick or some cowboy movie. From time to time he'll call me into the room and ask me to look at someone on screen. Then he'll say with a big grin on his face, "You know who's mother that is?" or "You know who that guy is on TV today?" I usually stare for a minute, and sometimes the answer is obvious, but more than not, I come up blank. Then he traces the connection for me, and I am always amazed that his 60+ brain still has room for these kinds of things. I hope I inherit this trait.

A Flock of Fear.

In most ways, I am just like my mother. But I pretty much owe my love for scary movies to my dad. At a pretty early age, he introduced me to what we refer to as "disaster" movies. Tower Inferno, Earthquake, and pretty much any movie where an animal multiplies and infiltrates/attacks an area. Frogs, Ants, Jaws...and of course...The Birds. 

The Birds is my second favorite Alfred Hitchcock film. Rear Window is my favorite. Psycho is surprisingly far down the list, but of course still a classic. At some point during the rainy Sunday afternoons of my childhood, when my younger brother and my mom were napping, I fell in love with old "scary" movies. My dad sat in a recliner next to me, making sure to pull me back into the movie with his storytelling voice, "Uh oh, what's gonna happen!?" if my attention wavered. I would look up from my popcorn just in time to see that Tippi Hedren was just inches in front of playground equipment that was covered in birds. Terrifying, and exhilarating. It wasn't just Hitchcock movies though, it was his TV show that drew me in also. I loved his introductions and conclusions, his little props and antics that were so uniquely his, and no one has been able to pull off since. 


These times with my dad taught me to appreciate the way movies, whether long or short, are made. I began to recognize the elements of writing and props and scenery, subtle movements, camera angles, facial expressions, and the tension of silence. I learned that usually dialogue is of secondary importance in a really good movie, and that too much talking is almost always a bad thing. 

Director of Doom.

Of course, my dad taught me that last lesson in real life too; his eyes busy watching every scene in our house, but only choosing to speak when it would further the plot rather than simply create more drama. Letting his stillness usher us into whatever lesson needed to be recognized at any given moment, and then finally, just like Hitchcock, summarizing the scene, offering a little sarcasm, a little humor, a lot of comfort by reminding us that no matter how bad things seem, none of it is real enough to spend time fretting over.

The Dad Awards

In a world where TV dads are often dead (6 Feet Under, Dexter, Brothers and Sisters, Game of Thrones) or portrayed as out of touch for comedic relief (almost every other show), it's important to take some time to recognize the good ones. In honor of Father's Day, here are the First Annual Weekend Fat Dad Awards!

I would follow that hair down the highway to heaven.

Beauty King: Michael Landon as Charles Ingalls in The Little House on the Prairie
Sure, it's an older show, but seriously...what other dad in history has possessed this kind of rugged handsome goodness while still looking like a father? I dare you to find one. As a hard worker on the prairie, Charles always has the perfect tan, and he might be the only dad in TV history to have better hair than his wife. Seriously, he is a good looking man.

If you crack a Brokeback Mountain joke Phil, I'll bury you over there.

Most Improved: Ed O'Neill as Jay Pritchett on Modern Family
Ed O'Neill is most famous for his character Al Bundy on Married With Children, maybe one of the worst dads of all time. But in Modern Family, he's been given a second chance as the patriarch of this wacky pack. He's gruff at times, and we have enough context to know that maybe he wasn't the greatest dad when Mitchell and Claire were growing up. But throughout the seasons we have seen him learn to go with the flow, becoming a source of stability and tough love. Plus, he's kind of the normal one in the family, except when it comes to his French Bulldog, Stella...then all bets are off.

Laugh Out Loud: Ty Burrell as Phil Dunphy on Modern Family
Is there anything that comes out of Phil's mouth that doesn't make you laugh out loud? His complete adoration for his wife along with the energy he puts into trying to relate and appear cool to his kids make us love him in spite of his moments of cluelessness. He serves up suburban slapstick at its finest.

Plaid makes you smarter.

TIE for Wisest Words: Andy Griffith as Andy Taylor on The Andy Griffith Show 
                                                                             AND 
                                      Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey on Gossip Girl
Everyone knows that growing up is hard, and without the words of wisdom bestowed on us by our fathers, how would we make it through adolescence at all! Ok, let's get real, kids don't listen to their parents. But if they did, it would look like it does in these two shows. It's no wonder Opie grew up to be the successful Ron Howard with a dad like Andy around. His patience to let Opie learn hard lessons and face consequences never tire. His guidance is perfectly timed and always welcomed. And former rock star Rufus is practically a modern day sage from Brooklyn gone UES, offering up the best advice to his own kids and pretty much every other character on Gossip Girl. When he's around, confessions just tumble from the lips of otherwise reckless troublemakers. Rufus and Andy know that a little sadness in the eyes and the words, "I'm disappointed in you" go farther than any over the top lecture ever could.

This. Man.

Grand Supreme (That's a thing, right?): Sam Jaeger as Joel Graham on Parenthood
There are a lot of things we could say about the dads on Parenthood. But in the midst of Zeke's extreme behavior, Adam's borderline judgment, and Crosby's attempt at growing up, Joel emerges as the hero. He is supportive of his working wife, stays at home with their daughter, and he works with his hands. That entire sentence is almost too good to be true. He knows when to stay silent, but is no pushover, and can stand up to Zeke or Julia in their moments of irrationality. He pays attention to his daughter enough to know when she's in need of a hug or a spanking. He doesn't get a lot of screen time, but when he does we always remember that he's maybe one of the greatest characters on the show. And aside from being a great dad, he's the kind of man every girl wants to marry!

What Dads Do You Want To Add To The List? 

What Awards Do They Deserve?