Team Jennifer-A Rebuttal

The following is a response to my unpopular post last week entitled The Failures of Jennifer Aniston.


I've never really had to defend my choice of celebrity love. I just figured you love a celebrity or you don't. Very subjective. How can anyone define what it is that attracts people to others? But, since the great debate of the age seems like it will be Team Jennifer vs. Team Angelina, then I'll play. *To make very clear, I'm not going to speak on anyone "stealing" anyone else. Not at all. Moving on...

The Golden Couple. Damn, I want her arms.

Let's just start with Friends. It's pretty much where Jennifer started. So many folks will have a soft spot for Jennifer just because of Friends. I spent my high school and college careers with these people. So, I look very favorably on the whole thing. Really, my Thursday nights haven't been the same since Friends left. Thus, I own the entire series on DVD. Jennifer spent ten years of her life with one character. Out of all of the Friends characters, Rachel aged the best (Joey's stupidity didn't read well as he aged; Ross just got more annoying, Monica just got stranger, etc.). So call it good casting. Call it good writing. Rachel/Jennifer will be one and the same. I don't know that I could call it type casting really. TV actors have to embody their characters more so than film actors for the show to be good for ten seasons. Jon Hamm will always be Don Draper (thank God). Jeremy Piven will always be Ari Gold. I'm okay with Jennifer always being a little bit Rachel.

Kind of a hippie moment for them, but they match!

I really don't think that people are fair when they say Jennifer is a bad actor and can't do other types of roles. Let's be honest. Do we want to see Jen get uglied up for a role? Nope. Even while on Friends, I can only come up with 2 episodes where she was less than completely put together - The One Where It All Started (pilot - Rachel in a wedding dress drenched from rain) and The One With The Fake Party (where she ended up in her high school cheerleading uniform and a fat lip). We have done this to her. She played her role in The Breakup well because she could be beautiful and angry at the same time. No harm, no foul. Same goes for Rumor Has It. There will be no Charlize Theron/Monster transformations in Jennifer's career. And I think we all want it that way. I believe that Charlize is absolutely gorgeous and can do anything she wants. But, we have allowed ourselves to want Jennifer only in a certain way. And that doesn't include her being ugly (or, gosh, even messy) for a role. Was Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn ever criticized for this? I don't think so.

Stop with the leg! Brad, control your woman.

On to the whole Brad Pitt thing. Well, what can you say? I liked them together. Mostly because I like matching things (it's kind of weird actually) and I just thought they matched. Golden colored hair. Tanned and toned. The cool, beachy thing totally working for them. I loved it. Yes. I am extremely superficial. I'd say that she hasn't been super discriminating in her choice of men since. I mean, if you start at the top, there isn't anywhere else to go but down (in the looks department). But, who hasn't made some mistakes with men? Let her live her life. At least she hasn't dived into the weird category (more on that later).

So, since we've made it to Brad Pitt, let's start comparing Jennifer to Angelina.

Acting: Jennifer - sometimes there is only so much you can do as an actor in terms of your career. Hollywood is a fickle beast. Tom Cruise will always be a cocky jack-ass role. Jennifer, the pretty girl. And you are comparing this to Angelina's... what?... Tomb Raider series? No thanks. I say, Jennifer's being darn smart by taking all her type casting straight to the bank. How many older female actors have complained about the lack of roles? Jen's crossed the 40-year-old mark. She's got to play it super smart. Make her cash now. Then, she can do whatever she wants.

How to have fun on the red carpet!

Sexiness: I am always confused at the folks who claim Angelina is the sexiest thing ever. How so? Because she gives off the dirty girl vibe? Well. You can have that. Angelina is weird. Weird, weird, weird. Vials of Billy Bob's blood? Making out with him on red carpets? Kissing her brother? She's just strange. And that doesn't equal sexy in my book. I like Jennifer's personal style. Or, her stylist's choice for her personal style. She just looks so relaxed in her clothes. And, she smiles!!! Every red carpet she does, she's smiling. Angelina always looks uptight or has decided that she's only there to put on a show. Who poses like that with their nasty skinny leg hanging out of their dress at the Oscars? A weirdo, that's who. And, would it kill her to take a red carpet photo looking slightly more animated than a wax figure? Jennifer has always seemed like someone I'd love to hang out with. Just cool. It's like she knows the whole scene is over-blown and ridiculous. So, bring it down a notch. Even when you compare photos of them on a regular day. I pick Jennifer. And, I've always heard that men like it when women aren't all done up. They like the relaxed, albeit clean and put together, look. Jen wins.

How to hate the red carpet.

One thing I particularly appreciate about Jennifer is that she seems to be living her life on her terms. She doesn't splash her life all over the place. She isn't trying to be someone she isn't (in real life - not on a set...ha!). Angelina always comes off as trying too hard for my taste. Okay, we get it. You want to be known as a decent person. One adoption would have been plenty to make that point. Stop throwing it in everyone's face. I appreciate those that help others behind the scenes. Or, maybe taking on causes that aren't so high profile. Who's to say what charity work is better than others? Basically, Angelina is an over achieving B. Calm down and don't take yourself so seriously!

Therefore, I love Jennifer Aniston. Always have. Always will.

P.S. I take issue with the fact that Angelina is pictured first on a post focusing on Jennifer. ;)


(Julie, 30, lives in Auburn, Ala. and balances her serious and superficial sides by being a self-employed wedding planner and amateur style/celebrity critic. Some of her current goals include: be a reoccurring guest on The Real Housewives of Atlanta (preferably as Nene's bestie); become best friends with Martha Stewart; actually become Kate Middleton. You can keep up with her views on weddings on her blog www.invevents.com.)

A Prideful Letter Of Persuasion Against Unmerited Prejudice

My dear Ms. Weekend Fat,

You must pardon my affrontery, my friend, and allow me to refute your shocking censure of historically-set cinema. Your claims, however strongly felt, are contrary to every feeling on the subject. Your disdain for those of us who enjoy watching "women in binding clothing" shows a lack of taste I have not met with in all my days. What words can be spoken against a man with longish hair sporting a high collar and cravat, I ask you? What manner of woman feels nothing for another who is prevented from loving someone not of her station? Amber, where is your heart? I will now endeavor to address the offenses you laid against period cinema: The Four Feathers had many a handsome man in their regimentals, therefore you can not complain about any other vice the movie may have contained.  Master. Simply because you lack the education to distinguish a butler from his master does not mean this skill cannot be learnt. You are a woman of education and have improved your mind with much reading. All the anger notwithstanding, exert yourself my friend or simply watch alongside myself for clearer understanding. Or text me.  Butler. Clueless is a most worthy adaptation to be sure, but it does not prevent me from enjoying the sight of Jeremy Northam in a cravat in its counterpart, the movie Emma. If you desire to find something amiss, hate with me if you will, the simpering face, painfully tight hair, and fake accent of Gwyneth Paltrow. goop indeed! Your assertion that Kiera Knightley and Anne Hathaway are interchangeable is a scandalous falsehood! Don't be daft! Other than wearing a very bad wig, Kiera is a very fine Elizabeth Bennet. She is made even finer by the work of Joe Wright and the amazing acting of Matthew MacFayden. I will speak no more about Miss Hathaway for we have discussed her previously, and at a greater length than she deserves. As for your admiration of Sense and Sensibility, this shows me that you have not lost both yourself. You are to be commended. Only your great taste in other fine areas of art and culture could release you from saying you cannot abide Emma Thompson. And Colin Firth and Hugh Grant as well? You are devoid of every proper feeling. Just sayin'.  I must allow that your love for Helen Mirren does speak of some spark of feeling. For a woman with liberal notions such as yourself, your acceptance of her as Ayn Rand shows a warmth of affection that is generally pleasing.  Have you lost your senses woman? Of all the Bronte works, to accept the one that is so affected, so altogether immoral and displeasing as Wuthering Heights? This is not to be borne! As for Mr. Pitt, do not speak his name to me again for I have declared my strong opinion of his bafoonery in the comments of your blog entitled The Failures of Jennifer Anniston.  As for stories, I daresay there is not one more beloved story than Pride and Prejudice. It has recommended itself to every generation for nigh on two centuries. If you would but read it! (Note to self:start pinning for a bicentennial party next year). Cravat. I know not how seeing Alan Rickman as Snape would have tainted my love for him as Colonel Brandon. Thankfully,his performance as Colonel Brandon preceded his Harry Potter tenure. I do know that not even the sight of him as Sheriff of Nottingham alongside Kevin Costner, a man with not so much as an accent never mind a cravat, did not sway me in the least. A cravat goes a long way my friend.  If you can view Amadeus with no objection, you must surely find regard for these aforementioned stories. If you can find your way to overlooking powdered wigs of a most ridiculous nature, then you will surely flow with approbation of such movies as other women find exceedingly divertive. (That means you will like them soon.) I beg leave to ask that you recommend me fondly to your readers. I thank you most prodigiously for the opportunity.  Warmest regards,  RB (Romelle Blanton is a hippie homeschooling mom, the blight of her normal neighborhood, and a fan of cravats. She is mother to 2 adults, 4 children, and is happily married...annoyingly so. You can read more from her on her blog, Raising His Child.)