This Is Not About Father's Day

Remember when this happened on American Idol?

Yeah, me too. 

A Letter To 13 Year Old Lindsay Lohan

Dear Lindsay,

Hey girl! How are you? I just finished watching your remake of The Parent Trap. I have always been a HUGE fan of Hayley Mills, and I really thought it couldn't get any better, but I gotta say, you nailed it! You were absolutely adorable, everyone thinks so. I've always thought it would be hard to play twins, was it?

Sorry if I'm rambling a little. I'm nervous. I've never written a letter to a celebrity, and well, this is no ordinary letter. See, I'm from the future. I know, it's hard to believe that, but use your Disney brain and just try to take it in. In light of recent events, I feel that it's really important to write you and warn you of a few things. Now I know that at age 13 you might have a hard time taking advice, what, with your entire life in front of you and your recent launch into stardom. But someone has to try to get through to you, someone has to intervene, and that someone might as well be me.

This is a picture of you as of 2012. That's right. You're a blonde, your lips are pumped with silicone, you look like you could be 45. Do the math little Lindsay, you are only 25 in this picture. I hate to have to show you this, but I think it's the only way to get your attention. To put a stop to what is so obviously the train wreck of a generation. Whitney Houston died earlier this year (I should probably be writing her, but I can't save everyone) and we are all wondering if you will be the next star who is gone too soon. But here are two things you need to remember. No one wants to see you this way, and there is a way for you to stop it. I'm going to try to dispense some advice to help you.

Throughout the next few years, you are going to make some really fun movies. You will have some pretty amazing co-stars in these movies. People like Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Keaton, Meryl Streep, Emilio Estevez, and Tina Fey. They are stable and will really see potential in you. People like Oprah, Ellen, and the entire SNL cast will take personal investments in you. As a teenager you might see some of these people as stodgy or washed up, boring even, but you should ignore your inclination to fight and rebel against them and their advice. They know how Hollywood works, and they see the potential in you and want the best for you. If you follow the paths they provide for you, you will have access to wisdom that will help you navigate your adolescent stardom like Ron Howard rather than pulling a classic Barrymore.

Looks like you BOTH still got it in this picture!

As you grow into your body, people will liken you to classically sexy Ann Margret. Even she will acknowledge the similarities and take you under her wing. You should go with this. You should resist the urge to change your hair color. Your red hair is one of the things people love about you, it makes you stand out, it makes you different. (For now, though some bombshell redheads are coming soon, Emma Stone, Christina Hendricks, Bryce Dallas Howard...and many more! So milk it while you can!) Don't believe the lie, blondes do not have more fun. This will be proven when Britney Spears shaves all of hair off in 2007. (Again, I can't save everyone.)

Lindsay, meet Bryce, the daughter of Ron Howard. She is beloved. You could be (again) too.

Speaking of Britney, You will also want to venture into the music business. Just...don't.

In a few years your parents' fighting will escalate and they will begin to sabotage your stardom. Your mom will be jealous of your fame, and your dad will want your money. They will throw you under the bus, sell you out, and sign you up for ridiculous projects but somehow they will never actually parent you. In an unfortunate combination of thinking you know everything and not knowing how to cope with anything, you will turn to drinking, drugs, and just all out inappropriate behavior. With the boom of social media in your late teenage years, everyone will experience your slow downfall as if we are watching The Truman Show (kind of like reality TV); unable to look away, but hoping you get out of there.

Maybe the last truly sexy picture of you that is ever taken.

The irony of your situation is that everyone who works with you (at first) will compliment your abilities and your talent; they will all speak highly of your potential, and yet none of this ever seems to sink in. Maybe you are hoping to hear it from your parents. Maybe someone incepted (it's a LONG story) you and told you that you cannot believe what anyone says. And so instead of striving to be the best actress you can be, you will charge headlong into the dysfunction that seems to be so ingrained in your genes. By the time you are 20 your life will be a mess, but your name will still have a following. This dichotomy makes you somewhat of an underdog. People see you self-destructing through TMZ (stay away if you can) photos, but continue to root for you. Rosie O'Donnell (though having lost quite a bit of credibility herself) will make public pleas for your health, safety, and recovery. She will be very sincere about it. Sadly, I am not sure you will ever even be made aware of her statements about you.

Give your lawyer/therapist a raise.

Speaking of Rosie, for a short time when you are 22 you will date a woman, and though people will relentlessly question your sexuality during this time, you will stay strong on the fact that you are not a lesbian, and that you cannot be put into a box. The interesting thing about this time period, is that as we watch you and your partner (I feel it would be unfair to tell you the name of this person. I only want to help you, not meddle in your romantic encounters) float from club to club, it will appear that you have risen past or at least had a reprieve from your otherwise out of control behavior. However, when the two of you break-up, it seems you are hell bent on destroying yourself as fast as possible.

Orange is not your color. 

From ages 22-26 your personal resume reads like that of a middle-aged-washed-up rock star. You will:
Appear in court multiple times for various reasons.
Always be the Defendant.
Write obscenities on your finger nails during one of your court appearances.
Go to jail, though who can ever really know how long you stay because fame is still the greatest defense.
Develop narcissism to a point that people in Hollywood don't want to work with you anymore. Even the Glee kids (kind of like the Beatles of our time) will speak poorly of you after your agent lands you a cameo on their show.
Appear in a viral (popular) video that shows how your face changes over the years and not in a good way.
Show America way too much of your body and attitude.
Scowl a lot.
Cry a lot.
Crash your Porsche.
Lie to policemen about it.
Lie to yourself.

Sugar and Spice. We miss you Lindsay.

I guess that's all I really have to say really. Odds are you will toss this letter aside into the pile of others that are sure to be pouring into your life right now. But remember, none of those others are from the future. So if by chance you decide to take this one to heart, and I hope you do, then maybe you will find this information shocking and even disturbing. Maybe you will vow to yourself and all of the people around you that you will never let this happen to you. Maybe you will at least keep your red hair. And maybe...just maybe, we will get to watch you become one of the most beautiful and talented actresses of our time. Wouldn't that be nice?

Sincerely and Full of Hope,
Weekend Fat

TV Couples that "Cross The Streams"

Any child of the 80's knows that there are a few rules you should always follow:
1. Never feed a Mogwai after midnight.
2. Don't say "Candyman" 5 times while looking in the mirror.
3. Don't take One Eyed Willie's treasure.
4. Never hate your baby brother or else David Bowie will kidnap him.
5. And finally...Whatever you do, DO NOT cross the streams.

Either we will explode, or save NYC!

We could collectively write an entire blog about these rules and more. But I just finished catching up on Gossip Girl, and I really need to talk about what I have found to be the television equivalent of crossing the streams.

In Ghostbusters, crossing the streams is what happens when the streams from the proton packs (that trap the ghosts) cross each other and create havoc on all things around them. Egon vaguely warns that crossing the streams "would be bad." He goes on to say that it would ruin life as we know it and our bodies would explode. Get the point? It's bad to cross the streams. They are not meant to be crossed.

You want us to what?

In Season 5 of Gossip Girl (now when I start a sentence like this it means I am going to give spoilers) Dan, the good boy from Brooklyn, and Blair, the Queen Bee of the UES end up together. As a couple. Together. Did I mention they get together? It's weird. It's unnatural. It's CROSSING THE STREAMS!

Dan's hair is too curly and he is a writer, and Blair is in love with Chuck and born to be a mean girl. She has never even spoken a kind word to him! It's a horrible match, but I couldn't help but watch. When they kissed the first time, I stared hoping that the actors would crack a smile at this obvious joke they were playing on the audience. But nope. No smiles. We were just supposed to forget everything we have known for 4 seasons and go with it. I hate it when writers think their audiences are stupid. But it happens a lot.

Here are some other TV couples that were dangerously close to ruining some of our favorite TV shows by crossing the streams with incompatible couples.

Like this.

Friends-Monica and Joey
OCD Monica and clueless Joey would have NEVER gotten together in real life, but through flashbacks/flashforwards we get to learn that Monica had a huge crush on Joey in the beginning and down the road could have ended up together. It's hard to pair Joey with any of the girls because he takes such a brotherly role with them. But I think we can all agree that if this particular couple had manifested, it would have been hard to watch even if they were fat and happy.

Not this.

Glee-Puck and Santana
Before Santana comes out as a lesbian, she makes the rounds though the guys in Glee, but her relationship with Puck is the one that lingers. Even when they are not dating, Santana makes whoever Puck is with, the target of her galactic bullying. It's obvious that they have a great connection, even if it is just physical, but there's no heart here. If anything this is a classic case of two people being too much alike, having too much in common. It doesn't stretch their characters the way that their other relationships do. Santana eventually softens up with Brittany and watching Puck's love for Lauren is just too much fun!

Santana + Puck = Suck.

Grey's Anatomy-George and Callie
It's fair to say that George with ANYONE is a horrible pairing, but this particular couple (if you can dig back and remember it) just never felt right. My personal thoughts? The writers were never sure up front if they were gonna keep Callie around. So they decided to get her into a relationship, knowing that when that relationship ended, they would have a chance to get rid of her if her character had not caught on. But when the actor playing George decided to go off the show, the Grey's staff found that Callie had some staying power and was actually a fan favorite. The couple itself never made much sense to me. Callie was so clearly a rebel, proved to us through her long sleeved hippie shirts sticking out from under her scrubs and untamed hair. George was an insecure dork who never quite cured his crush for Meredith. Let's not even analyze the facts that in real life the actor playing George is gay, and Callie ends up being a lesbian (or bi?) on the show. When George was killed off, it was more of notch in Callie's belt of tragedy, and only made us like her more. Poor George.

Awkward Anatomy.

30 Rock-Liz and Dennis
He's her comfort zone; the place Liz always returns to. But Dennis is the only beeper salesman left in New York (maybe the world), and was seen on Dateline and not for good reasons, not to mention, his pet name for our beloved Lemon is Dummy. And yet until recently, Liz just hasn't been able to stay away from Dennis, or keep him away from her. We adore Liz for her quirky habits that are way too similar to our own at times, but there's something about watching her be demeaned by someone as stupid and annoying as Dennis, that their relationship stopped playing as funny to us years ago. Liz, here's some advice...if he's the beeper king, you do not want a ring. SHUT IT DOWN.

Dealbreaker.

Of course, the thing about crossing the streams is that sometimes...it saves the world. In all of Egon's concern over not crossing the streams he forgot to tell us up front that sometimes, it works. So here is my vote for the couple that crossed the streams and managed to save the TV show in spite of what could have been an obvious mismatch.

Moonlighting-David and Maddie
It's the classic Taming of the Shrew storyline. Maddie Hayes (Cybill Shepherd) is a type A, independent former model and celebrity, accustomed to living well, that is until she loses everything except her detective agency. David Addison (Bruce Willis) comes along with his crazy antics and careless attitude and the two begin a business partnership and eventually a romantic one as well. The show itself is a classic in that it was the first to do a few things that we see all the time now on TV. It broke the fourth wall before most people had ever even heard of a fourth wall. The writing was excellent and combined drama and comedy, practically giving us the genre we now call, "dramedy." And of course it created a building tension between David and Maddie that audiences could NOT get enough of!

So much sexy.

The theory before Moonlighting was that having two characters on a show like this finally hook up would ruin the show. But the social campaigns (promoted through magazines) for David and Maddie to "do it" were so substantial that the writers eventually gave in. The episode where the two have sex was the highest rated in the show's history. In an unfortunate turn of events, David and Maddie did not stay together and thus viewers lost interest. This directly disproved the idea that having two main characters hook-up would kill the show and instead it proved the exact opposite, keeping them together might have saved Moonlighting. People wanted to see them together! With decreasing viewership, writer's strikes, Willis' booming movie career, and Shepherd's unwillingness to work the long hours, the show did die shortly after. But it remains one of the greatest TV romances of all times, even if they did cross the steams to get there.

What are some TV relationships that "cross the streams" to you? Sam and Diane? Elaine and Jerry? Angel and Buffy? 

I left out quite a few, state your case as to whether the relationship ends life as we know it, or saves the world!

The Commissioner Gordon Maneuver

POW! So much color. 

I love a good superhero movie. I have never been a comic book reader, but I know the movies I enjoy have a respectable and historical origin. One of my favorite series of superhero movies was the Batman movies of the 80's and 90's. You know the ones...Michael Keaton was Batman, Jack Nicholson was The Joker. There was enough cheese to honor the original TV show, with enough darkness to appeal to my adolescent melancholy. My brother loved them too, but since he is 5 years younger than me and a boy, I imagine it had more to do with car chases and guns.


When I was in high school and my brother was old enough to recognize actors and actresses, we heard about the game, 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. We never really knew the details of how to play it, and though I could make an educated guess, I can't say I ever really bothered to learn the rules. We had our own version of the game. We would name two random celebrities and connect them through movies. We would see who could connect them in the fewest "moves." In doing this, we learned perhaps one of the greatest connectors of all times. We called it, "The Commissioner Gordon Maneuver."

Holy Nipples Batman!

Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, and Batman and Robin were some of the most star studded movies of the decade. Now before you groan, I never said they were GOOD movies. I love them because they are fun, but there is no argument that Christopher Nolan's recent Batman franchise put these oldies to shame. Still, like I said, they were a fun middle ground between the cheese of the old TV show and the goth of the new Nolan movies, and they fit in perfectly with the excess and fun of that time period.


More to the point, almost every substantial star from that time was in at least one of those 4 movies. Just take a look: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Jerry Hall, Billy Dee Williams, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Val Kilmer, Nicole Kidman, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Drew Barrymore, Chris O'Donnell, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Uma Thurman, George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, Elle Macpherson, Vivica A. Fox....and those are just the "main" characters. 

You look like an impostor...I thought Keaton was Batman!

The role of Batman and the villains changed from movie to movie, but one thing stayed the same was Commissioner Gordon, portrayed by Pat Hingle. My brother and I discovered that Commissioner Gordon was a surefire way to connect any two movie stars.


Want to connect Brittany Murphy and Diane Keaton?
1.Brittany Murphy and Alicia Silverstone in Clueless
2.Silverstone and Commissioner Gordon (we never called him Hingle) in Batman and Robin
3.Commissioner Gordon and Jack Nicholson in Batman
4.Nicholson and Keaton in Something's Gotta Give 
Boom.


Okay okay, so it's not always the most efficient way to get it done, especially in light of all the movies that have been made since we started playing the game 15 years ago!  But the maneuver can ALWAYS get it done. Upon reflection, it turns out that we could have just as easily used the "Alfred Maneuver," as Alfred is played by Michael Gough in all 4 Batman movies. But it doesn't sound as good. 


Of course there are other actors that this works with. Regina King, Kevin Bacon (the original connector), Clint Howard, and now with more epic trilogies in play, there are more simple helps like the "Snape Segue," or the "Jacob Junction." But as for me and my brother, we will always remember the Commissioner Gordon Maneuver as one of the defining tricks that helped us to grow into our obsession love for movie trivia.

Vitamin C and Other Musical Graduation Supplements

In sticking with the graduation theme, I thought it would be appropriate to mention some of the greatest "graduation songs." Most of these were not actually written for graduation purposes, but have more of a transitioning theme. They are songs we love because they mark times of change, even when we don't always love the change itself. I love how music has the ability to offer stability. Today I listened to Mumford and Sons just to see how they sound in China. They sound good. Really good. Anyway, before I digress into my love affair with music, here's a list of 13 "graduation songs" 1 for each year of high school and 1 to grow on! Some are personal favorites, some are just too classic to ignore, and some you might have buried deep down into that same grave that holds your high school yearbook photos and first kiss. Enjoy!

Seriously, great advice that everyone ignores.

Graduation is the Reason
While the rest of the songs on this list could be considered in a context other than graduation, there is no mistaking that these 3 which are clearly meant in a "you're free from high school" kind of way.  
1.School's Out-Alice Cooper
Memorable Lyric: Schooooool's out Completely! (That's about as final it gets.)
2.Everybody's Free (Wear Sunscreen)-Baz Luhrmann
Memorable Lyric (if you can call it a lyric):You are not as fat as you imagine. (A. Freaking. Men.)
3.Graduation (Friends Forever)-Vitamin C
Memorable Lyric: When we look back now, will that joke still be funny? (Nope. Probably not.)


Gone Country
It's no surprise that these country songs carry sentiment, but it is surprising that they have the staying power to make us feel a little emotional when we look back (and forward) on life.
4.Leaving On A Jet Plane-John Denver
Memorable Lyric: Don't know when I'll be back again. (I love a good open-ended journey.)
5.My Wish-Rascal Flatts
Memorable Lyric: Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. (Funny how the exact opposite happens.)
6.The Dance-Garth Brooks
Memorable Lyric: I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance. (That pain will look like a measly splinter compared to what's coming.)
7.I Hope You Dance-Lee Ann Womack
Memorable Lyric: When you come close to selling out, reconsider. (Oh to have this option.)


Gonna Make You Cry
If you haven't slow danced in a group with your friends to these songs then you haven't lived.

8.It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday-Boyz II Men

Memorable Lyric: And I'll take with me the memories. (Years later it turns out that all your "memories" are yearbook photos.)

9.End of the Road-Boyz II Men

Memorable Lyric: Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go. (How is this about anything related to graduation at all?)

10.I Will Remember You-Sarah McLachlan

Memorable Lyric: Weep not for the memories. (Don't you dare.)

How is that lamp even on?

Going...Going...Gone
Now these...these are the songs I like to think of when I think of graduation. They offer a healthy perspective on the past but offer some hope for the future.
11.Free Bird-Lynyrd Skynyrd
Memorable Lyric: I'm as free as a bird now. (Fly while you can!)
12.We Are The Champions-Queen
Memorable Lyric: No time for losers cause we are the champions, of the world! (So mean, so innocent, so wrong.)
13.(Good Riddance)Time of Your Life-Green Day
Memorable Lyric: It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. (Best "graduation" song ever.)

What's Your Favorite "Graduation" Song?

Go Back! It's Graduation Time!

Throughout the last month, my Facebook has been flooded with posts and pictures about graduation. There is something exciting and even comforting about the rituals associated with the graduation ceremony. And yet, inevitably, it's also very boring. 

When I graduated from high school I remember paying close attention to every detail. I wanted to be in that moment, aware of the way that every little thing felt. I wanted to know that I would remember it years later. And I do. But then came college and grad school, and something about the combination of the June heat in the South and the borderline condescending speakers left me uninterested. I just wanted to get the robe off. By the time I got my second masters degree, I didn't even attend the ceremony, just waited for the diploma in the mail. My only regret about this is that it would have been a hooding ceremony, and I've never attended one of those...yet. 

I think the reason I paid attention so closely in high school is that most movies that feature a graduation scene of some kind imply that something unforgettable, something shocking, something dramatic will happen. The class clown will streak, the nerds will revolt, the cheerleaders will fall, the jocks will yell profanities. The audience will gasp at some unexpected delinquent behavior, or cry as the heartwarming underdog crosses the stage. That's how it happens in the movies. I wanted that to happen at my graduation. It didn't. Not even close. Did you know that most high schools do not even allow students to throw their graduation caps? Thanks movies for creating unrealistic expectations of what everyone will dramatically describe as "the most important day of your life." That is until you get married, get a job, buy a house, have a kid...

At least we can live vicariously through some of these amazing movie "graduations". Here are 3 of my favorite movies about moving on and getting ready for the "real world." 

Chills.

GREASE

Perhaps one of the greatest and most misleading high school movies of all times. There is no way that these actors are teenagers. Olivia was 30 during the filming. And yet the premise stands. Everyone wants to sing their way through high school. High School Musical and Glee have perpetuated the idea. And even in the thought provoking book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, music plays a role that can barely be expressed in mere words. (Hope the movie does it justice!) But the hands down kicker in this over-the-top movie is the carnival following graduation. I think the closest thing to a carnival we had at my graduation was the rain that made the road just slippery enough to cause everyone in their dress shoes to slide around. Raamalaamalaama...

The feminist in me always hates that Sandy conforms in the end to be with Danny. But the single 33 year old in me says, where can I get some of those pants?  Which by the way, there is NO WAY those things are in dress code. And when did they have time to co-ordinate that dance in between pregnancy scares, drag races, and hopeless devotion? 

Maybe the most misleading part of the movie (if you forget the flying car) is that in the end everyone is friends. Just look at that picture up there. The rivalries are dead the minute the graduation gowns come off. While they may go dormant for a while, I would venture to guess that in real life, graduation day only marks the start of the real rivalries. Facebook has actually given us the perfect passive aggressive bullying tool. I wonder what Rizzo's status would be. (Hmm...blog idea???) 

Facade.

SAY ANYTHING

Not only is this movie absolutely adorable, with one of the greatest movie scenes ever, one of the greatest guys ever, and one of the greatest (Graduate-esque) endings ever, it also encompasses one of the best possible graduation scenes/nights ever. The great thing is that this movie begins with graduation. 

The graduation ceremony itself is classic. It's a pretty realistic scene, in that students are a little bored, people are blocking the sun from their eyes. The sought after, Diane gives a rather transparent speech entitled, "Soaring Ahead." Her infamous words of advice to her classmates..."Go Back." It gets a laugh from her soon to be criminal father, but goes over the heads of most of the crowd. The idea of the speech is that high school was the best time of their lives and they should be afraid of what the future holds. It sets the tone for the rest of the movie which takes place during the summer following graduation. As far as Diane's advice, you couldn't PAY me to go back. But it's a nice thought that I know some people who peaked in high school probably carry with them daily. Like Uncle Rico for example. "If I could go back to 1982..."

As the graduates are standing around with family and friends, Lloyd, who is a little too scared to actually ask Diane to be in a picture with him manipulates a moment for them to appear in the same photograph. (Seen Above.) It's hilarious, and a scene that shows some of that high school mentality. I can't say I did this, but I do find the most random people in my graduation photos when I look back on them. I suppose it it's just an earlier version of a photo bomb.

The best part of the festivities is the graduation party. It's the kind of graduation party that every high- schooler wants, but hardly any actually get because their parents and family are in town and dictate how the night goes. As Lloyd and Diane walk through the party we get to see the extremes of their personalities. Lloyd is beloved by all, and Diane, while obviously having great potential, has spent her years on the outskirts of her peers. It's at this party that Diane realizes she could and should give Lloyd a real chance at a relationship. It's the perfect ending to a loaded day. 

Lloyd's ambitions are questioned throughout the movie, but he really only has one: to love Diane. While this doesn't exactly win scholarships, it definitely wins the hearts of every woman who has ever watched the movie. Only in today's economy, Lloyd might have to detour from his plan and start selling, buying, or processing to keep Diane around. Cameron Crowe's movie is no where near reality, but it doesn't fill you with the ridiculous expectations that John Hughes' films do either. It's really the perfect graduation movie.

Bittersweet.

CRUEL INTENTIONS

After Dangerous Liason's and before Gossip Girl, there was Cruel Intentions. Aside from this being one of the most provocative teen movies ever made, it nails the loss of innocence theme. Through manipulation, sexual entrapment, and blackmailing, this movie delivers more scandal than the Secret Service. While there is no direct graduation scene in the movie, there is definitely a very fulfilling ending. Puppet-master Kathryn gets what's coming to her when (formerly) good girl Annette, releases to all of her peers, a diary of Kathryn's sins; including the secret locket of cocaine she wears around her neck. I always thought it was such a sign of the times that Kathryn could scheme and sex her way through school, but carry a little coke around her neck and THAT DOES IT! Those were the "just say NO" days, and this movie does not disappoint! 

The sweet (And by sweet, I mean wicked. And by wicked, I mean, awesome.) part of this movie lies completely in the revenge. Every teenager wants their bully to get what's coming to them, and Annette gets to drop her bomb and drive away in a badass car. Of course, one thing we all know is that revenge never truly brings things full circle. With that kind of pain in the past, you change. No matter how good it feels to see someone get theirs, it does not fix anything. Unfortunately, you can never really go back. 

And so for those of you graduating, or preparing to attend a high school reunion (my 15th is this summer) just remember, the best revenge is living well. 

What's Your Favorite Graduation/End of High School Movie?

Resignation To the End?

You've heard it. (And just in case you haven't here it is:)

Now that that's out of the way...

I love this song! LOVE IT! I have made all of my students here in China watch it. Even though showing Gotye's midriff is a little risqué for them. When the first class I showed didn't love it, I should have abandoned it for a Katy Perry song rather than forcing it on my other classes. But I LOVE IT, and so I chalked it up to "teaching them about American culture" and forged ahead with it...8...more...times.

I don't know how it came into the mainstream. I heard about it on Facebook. Then a few weeks later it was advertised on a commercial for an upcoming episode of Glee, and from there, of course, it went straight to the top of everyone's playlists. Then the covers started. Some of them are awesome, but none of them capture the angst in Gotye's voice when he sings, "CUT ME OFF" or the softness in "and it feels so rough."


There's no question, the song is a big deal.


But is Gotye a big deal?

Somebody that I'd like to know.

I hate to contribute to the prediction of a One Hit Wonder. 


Gotcha. 


Especially with someone as cute as Gotye. In fact, many times, if I like a song by someone, I will listen to and even buy their album just to support them. Usually it works out all right. I might find a few other songs I really enjoy. I know the hipster thing to do would be to act like I don't really like the song, "Somebody That I Used To Know" and talk about how awesome his other more obscure songs are. I'm never gonna be that cool.


So I TRIED to like other Gotye songs, and I just didn't. I thought that maybe since he sounds so much like Sting, then I would love him. But his other songs don't have the heart that this one has. I heard that he was all the rage at Coachella, and I tried to like his music again because I think that whatever happens at Coachella somehow sets the stage for the music year and also this thing with Tupac happened...but NOPE.


And I'm not the only one. On iTunes, Gotye is at #2 with his single, but click on his other songs and they don't even have "popularity bars" beside them. I heard one, "Eyes Wide Open" had some potential, and he did sound like Sting in a lot of the music, but there was no wailing that I fell in love with in "Somebody That I Used To Know." I wanted the wailing! Instead it was almost like Sting and Mika had a baby and named him Gotye. If you don't know Mika, I can't help you right now. One thing at a time.

Show us the shape of your heart, Gotye!

I don't want Gotye to be a One Hit Wonder...but I'm just not sure he has found a niche other than the music snob, cooler than you,hipster types who like him for his "real work."  

What do you think? Is Gotye soon to be somebody that we used to know?

True Romance: A Movie Review

It's rare for me to venture back to the movies of the early 90's to watch something that someone suggests. At this point in my life, I kind of think I've seen all of the quality ones, or at least heard of them and have some awareness of what I'm missing. 

Brilliant.

It's also rare for me to add a new movie to my favorites list. The last movie I added to the list was Inception, and that took writing multiple blogs on it to work out why exactly I loved it so much. I eventually landed on these three things: The concept was brilliant. The emotional content was brilliant. The music was brilliant (and I was probably manipulated by the swells and chords). Even so...it made the list. 


Last night I was Face-Timing (such an awkward way to say that) with my friend Joni and we were sharing about some of our favorite movies as we often do. She mentioned the movie, True Romance. I had never heard of it and she was shocked. She went on to list all of the people in the movie. You can read for yourself here:

Star. Studded.

I assured her I would try to find it and watch soon. She insisted on sooner than later. It happened to be for rent on iTunes and so I kicked back tonight on my couch and decided to watch.


True Romance was made in 1993, at the height of Christian Slater's career. And in this movie, he is as great as I remember him being when I was 14 and completely in love with him. Patricia Arquette comes out of nowhere for me. I have never really paid much attention to her, but in this movie she's adorable and strange. The two of them together are kind of magical. Oh, and Gary Oldman. Oh wow!

I can't even...

All of the acting is great, but the brilliance of this movie is the totally unexpected dialogue. It's off the wall and crazy and yet, completely believable. The storyline itself is pretty simple: couple in love, a little in over their heads with a drug deal, trying to make it out alive. It's violent for sure, and there's some pretty offensive language, so you've been warned. But it's so so so good. It's ironic and comes full circle in all the right ways. 


One of the things that caught me off guard was that some scenes are so full of tension that you will want to watch The Hurt Locker afterwords so you can relax. One in particular scene is a confrontation between Hopper and Walken. In your gut you know what's coming, but leading up to it is turmoil. I found myself smiling in awe, but looked down to see that I had crushed a handful of popcorn to bits while watching.

3 Words...You're So Cool.

I know this is all very vague, but when I start to tell you the details of a scene I find that I don't want to give it away at all! I think this is the same feeling Joni must have had when she was stressing that I just "have to watch it." She couldn't really seem to pinpoint the greatness, but assured me it was there.


I'm sure True Romance is not for everyone. I honestly had doubts that it would be for me. But after seeing it today, I am proud to announce that I have added it to my list of favorites. I'm a little ashamed that I have missed it all these years. If you get a chance, check it out.


Oh, and don't get me STARTED on the soundtrack....

Coming Out Of The Nerd Closet--A Guest Post

But I wasn't ready for everyone else to know it!

I never had any intentions of coming out of the nerd closet. I was raised in a family steeped in a Star Wars/Star Trek/Lord of the Rings tradition. I watch Dr. Who, I want to be the mother of Ted Mosby's children. I get all of the Big Bang Theory references, and I spot all the easter eggs in Community. My nerd-dom has been a closely guarded secret...until I heard about HBO’s Game of Thrones.

My best friend was really into it. I had seen her tweets about the Starks and Lannisters. Dragon eggs, you say? What are horse lords? Kingdoms and sword fighting! This was just a rip off of Lord of the Rings. Clearly, a copycat, not worth my time. But I promised her I would watch the first episode when she sent me a link. 

Dragons and Kingdoms and Horse Lords..OH MY!

I watched all ten episodes in TWO days. Hour long episodes. Then I bought the books. There are five of them available so far. They are all around 900 pages. I just started the fifth one. I have developed my own theories about characters and their futures. If Daenerys Targaryen does not take the Kingdoms with fire and blood, I might start writing fan fiction. Admittedly, I am completely sucked into George R. R. Martin’s realm of “The Song of Ice and Fire.”

So what...I thought...I can keep this contained. Nobody knows how into Star Wars I am. Only those closest to me know that I would rather watch the trilogy than a chick flick. I don't want people to see me as the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I don't want to be the quirky, bubbly girl that nerds-out to attract nerdy boys and then turns them into men, only to eventually lose them to sexy, non-nerd, women. I had no intentions to reveal my true colors. 

Until they recently came shining through. There I was at a bar: wearing a high-waisted skirt, stylish top, side-braid, and drink in hand. And I see it from across the room. Some guy is wearing a crimson shirt 
with the Lannister lion on it. I cannot get to him fast enough.

Like this...only not.

“You watch Game of Thrones?” I asked. He looked at me like I was speaking Klingon. “Your shirt,” I tried again, “Lannisters are the lions.” He smiled politely, and it hit me: he had no idea what I was talking about. In less than a minute, I stood there alone, now educated on how his shirt had to do with a soccer team. Oh God! It was too late! I came out in a bar! 

Suddenly, standing next to me was this baby-faced guy, who explained that he overheard my Lannister conversation, and that Tyrion is his favorite character. My nerd-dom outburst had pinged his nerdy girl/MPDG radar. We ended the night exchanging only names to Facebook each other and vague plans to perhaps watch Game of Thrones together sometime. 

I went home, washed off my “Hot Girl Disguise,” crawled into bed with my black rimmed glasses on, and read some more of "A Dance with Dragons."



(This Guest Post is brought to you by my friend, Sandi. Sandi is currently a Nanny in the High Country of North Carolina, aspiring to be the perfect combination of Ina Garten, April Ludgate, and Belle. She has dreams of meeting a man who can carry on conversations using only lines from NBC's comedy block. Aside from wanting to be Lena Dunham's best friend, she is a TV addict currently focused on GoT, Girls, Once Upon A Time, and Revenge. You can follow her on Twitter--@joybyrd)   

Guest Post is Coming...

Some of the best moments in television are when there's a guest on the show. It only makes sense that since Weekend Fat is all about television, that we would also have a few guests from time to time.

Stay tuned on Monday for an AMAZING guest post by my friend Sandi. Due to her love for Game of Thrones, she's recently come out of the nerd closet and wants to share her experience with the readers of Weekend Fat! 

If you have an idea you want to share with Weekend Fat, or are interested in writing a guest post, you can find us on Facebook or Twitter @weekendfat. You can also email us at: catidwell222@gmail.com.

Have a great weekend!