The Best of 2012

These are in no way REALLY the "best" of the year, but here are a few of my best things from 2012.

This. Kid.

Best Reality Show-Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
Don't talk to me about Duck Dynasty. This is the real deal.

Best New Show-Nashville
I love it. It makes me want to revisit the city, it makes me want to listen to country music. The drama is great, the acting is great, the music is great, and I get swept up in it each week.

Best Drama-Parenthood
This should win for consistency if nothing else. Each and every episode delivers, which is rare. Usually there are hits and misses, but this one is on the money from week to week.

Best Comedy-30 Rock
Two Broke Girls, Modern Family, Raising Hope...I love them, but Tina Fey and this darling show will have my loyalty for the little time it has left on the air.

Best Song-We Are Young by Fun
It's a feel good song, it's upbeat, the lyrics are good, and it's smart. I could listen to this all day, and there have been days that I have.

Best Album-Babel by Mumford and Sons
Mumford and Sons is my go to music for the Fall and Winter. This new album by them is as good as their last, if not better. I can't wait to see what they do next!

Best Movie-Life of Pi
I watched A LOT of movies this year, but if I had to choose the best one FROM this year, I'd say it was this one. It was a creative and solid story as well as, suspenseful, action packed, funny, sentimental, and even carried a little twist ending.

Best "Breakout" Star-Olivia Wilde
Olivia Wilde is in no way new to stardom, but she is new to movies, and this year she did a lot of them. The Words, Butter, People Like Us, and more. She played drastically different roles in each of them and did a great job. I am not sure she will ever hold down a leading lady spot, but I would love to see her try.

Everyone will know her name.

Best Underage Star-Chloe Grace Moretz
She's not new, but the more I watch her, the more I am super impressed. I can't wait to see her in Carrie coming in 2013!

Best "I Changed My Mind About Her" Star-Carey Mulligan
I wrote a blog earlier in the year about Mulligan and my doubt about her being cast as Daisy on Gatsby. While we are still waiting to see how she does in this movie, I have seen so much of her this year that I have changed my mind about her. She's beautiful, brilliant, vulnerable but strong, and when she's on screen I can't help but be enthralled by her. I admit, I judged her too quickly.

Best Celebrity Moment-Any Rebel Wilson interview
Best Celebrity Moment 2-Any Emma Stone interview
Best Celebrity Moment 3-Any Kristen Bell interview
These three are always perfectly adorable and hilarious during their interviews, unlike weirdos Kristen Stewart, Nicole Kidman, and Melanie Griffin. Watching those three on live TV is horrifying.

Well played.

Best Politician Moment-Obama playing Spiderman with a kid.
Adorable. Take note politicians, we live in an internet age. If you want to win an election, you MUST be likable on the internet.

This friendship is one of my favorite.

Best Politician Moment 2-Texts with Hillary Memes
She's just the coolest.

Best Bad Story Turned Good-The Bullied Bus Driver
I could mention Christian Bale's visit to the families of the dead and injured who were show in the theater during The Dark Knight Rises, but the bus driver story really stuck with me. When I read about the horrible things that this woman had to endure driving a bus of brats to and from school daily, I felt sick. To make things worse, she went home to a somewhat sad life each night. When America got wind of the video on the bus, people reached out to this woman with money, gifts, kind words, and more. She has since retired from driving on her over $600 grand worth of donations, some of which she gave to charity. I love when the good in humanity sees the bad and works to make up for it.

How does he look so scary!

Best Bad Guy Hair-Javier Bardem. Always.

He looks weird with clothes on.

Best Sports Moment-I didn't pay attention since Auburn was so bad. But probably something to do with Michael Phelp's abs.

Best Book-We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
This is one of the most haunting and well written books I have ever read. It's not from this year, but I did read it this year, so that's something.

Best App for iPhone-Pocket
I love this app cause I can just move everything I want to read and put it into one place. So when I'm sitting in a waiting room or wherever (I'll just say it, the bathroom), I can catch up on blogs, articles, and more! I'm a dork, I know, but this has been a really great thing to have this year in China!

What is on your BEST of 2012 list?

Laugh Tracks: The Evolution of Humor

For the record, none of this should be taken as actual fact, but rather just one of my many pop-culture theories. I am sure I could spend time researching the history of the laugh track, but instead I skimmed a Wikipedia article on it, found that I generally didn't find what I wanted to find, and now I'm forging ahead with my own opinions.

In my mind, laugh tracks on Sit-Coms should have been officially buried on May 6, 2004. That's when the last episode of Friends aired. Friends gets grandfathered in simply because when it started in 1994, most comedy shows had a laugh track.

The last time laugh tracks were acceptable, people dressed like this.

Growing up with Full House and Family Matters, laugh tracks taught me how to get jokes. In fact, most shows for children have canned laughter because kids need to be taught when to laugh at words. So much comedy for kids is physical comedy, so they are visually cued to laugh, but when shows rely primarily on dialogue, some jokes might be beyond the development of a kid's brain. Laugh tracks help them know...hey, this is funny, enjoy it. And if you have or know any kids then you've probably had them excitedly repeat jokes from TV shows to you. They are proud to get the joke and they want to share it. That laugh track was probably vital to their understanding it. SO...before I go totally off on laugh tracks, please know that I recognize they have their place.

But prime time comedies are not that place.

The laugh track tells us she's funny, not obnoxious.

It used to be that in order to be culturally informed, you had to watch hours of news, or Entertainment Tonight, listen to the radio, or read newspapers and magazines. But now you just have to have a Twitter, a Facebook feed, or a nearby teenager. Getting the headlines is so easy. In fact they come at us fast and furiously, but rarely is there a need to actually read or explore a topic. In other words, it's not hard to get the culturally relevant jokes that show up in our comedies these days. For example: I didn't watch the VP debate a few weeks ago, but I know that Biden laughed in a cocky way and that Ryan didn't really go into detail with his answers. I knew this from what I saw on Facebook. So when SNL did a spoof of the debate last week, I felt fully informed and got the jokes. It's a shallow existence that allows us to know very little about A LOT of topics and still come across generally informed. Which is horrible for having an educated point of view or being able to discuss any given topic of importance...but is GREAT for our TV watching.

The only show I like as of right now that has a laugh track is Two Broke Girls. Which by the way, is a really great show even with the enhanced laughter. Think of shows like 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Community, Parks and Rec, The Office, and even Cougar Town, The Middle, and Modern Family. None of these shows have laugh tracks even though they cover very different types of characters and plots. I like to think of this as more educated TV, or at least TV that gives a little credit to their viewers. These shows know that we don't need the laugh track anymore. But even these shows don't escape giving us clues that they want us to laugh at something. The laughter has been replaced by little musical trills, documentary style glances at the camera, or flashbacks in some cases.

Did I do that funny thing causing mechanical laughter to ring through the sound stage?

There are petitions to get the laugh tracks removed from shows like The Big Bang theory, which carries an interesting mixture of audience. The jokes are often sophisticated and scientific in nature, so the audience with those leanings doesn't need the cue. But the audience that watches a group of socially awkward nerds interact and likes the easy funny flow of the show,  doesn't mind the track. It will be interesting to see if a show ever attempts to transition between the two. Because truthfully, laugh tracks are more than just about making an audience laugh, they are there for transitions and comedic timing too. Adding one or taking one away would mean changing the filming style, the writing, and the acting. For proof of this check out 30 Rock's live shows where there is audience laughter as opposed to their week to week rhythm. It's a noticeable difference in the way they do things.

Now I've equated education with no laugh tracks and said that I like shows with no laugh tracks. I realize that I might come across as a snob with that kind of reasoning. In order to prevent that assumption, I would like to point you to exhibit A: my blog two days ago where I confess to watching over 20 hours of TV weekly, as well as exhibit B: my post last month where I defend Honey Boo Boo. We all have our vices. I happen to hate laugh tracks, but when Ramona gets drunk on Real Housewives of New York, I cannot look away! Believe me, I know I am no better than anyone else...laugh track or not!

Maybe this isn't something you notice, but I challenge you to watch your favorite comedies this week and pay attention to the things that make you laugh. Was there a pause in dialog? Was there a laugh track? Was there some other cue? Do you watch any shows with laugh tracks? Do you watch any without? What's your general feeling about canned or enhanced laughter? Or do you have an actual life and haven't bothered to put any time into thinking at all about such things....

What I am ACTUALLY Watching

I've decided to tell you what I am actually watching, since we all go back and forth about TV so much on this blog. These are not in order of importance or favorite at all. They are kind of in order by genre if anything. If you are watching a show you want covered on the blog, then feel free to write up a post and send it to me at catidwell222@gmail.com I'd love more writers and more input. As you can see, I have my hands full. Some spoilers below on various shows...

The Walking Dead-So much misguided anger this season! And I want them to take baths. I've been around West Georgia and there are TONS of creeks and lakes. No reason to be filthy. Also, I might be late to the game, but as I watched the first episode of Season 3, I couldn't help but think...."OH...so THE Main Characters are the walking dead..."
666 Park Avenue-If LOST, American Horror and Gossip Girl had a baby it would be this show.
American Horror Story-Since so many shows have come back this season causing "meh" reactions, I gotta say I'm glad AHS is attempting a different storyline altogether. And wow, they are off to a great start!
Dexter-I always thought the show should END with Deb finding out about Dexter, so now that we've crossed that bridge I'm a little indifferent about things at the moment. Where is this gonna go?

New York.

SVU-Mariska Hargitay. Enough said.
Scandal-I am so conflicted over this show in so many ways. But I will stick around cause I love old Shonda.
Homeland-This is what Scandal wishes it were.
Revenge-I have never LOVED a Season 1 so much only to hate Season 2 so much. Get it together!
Grey's Anatomy-Have I mentioned that this needs to be the last season? Cause it needs to be. I hear Neve Campbell is coming on...NO NO NO, no more new people...wind it down please.
Parenthood-Best. Show. On. TV.
Nashville-Connie Britton was fabulous, and even though the 10 months I spent in Nashville weren't great, this makes me want to go back a give it another try. Plus...I mean, it's about music!
SmashI was hate-watching this show last season, and I will do the same this time around.
Glee-When Glee gets emotional, so do I. The Break-Up episode was Glee at its finest. More character building, less cheesy plot please.
Once Upon A Time-Again, strong Season 1, but this time around it's just losing steam.

Long Island

SNL-Sure it's all political at the moment, but soon it might find a nice retreat back into the relevant references of pop-culture. Best skit so far was either Bond Girls or Tech Talk.
30 Rock-I'm a fan in every since of the word. I will miss them after this season!
The Office-Dying a slow and painful death...
Community-I am cynical that without Dan Harmon it will be any good, but when done well, this show is pretty close to perfect. Oh...IF IT EVER COMES ON AGAIN!
Parks and Recreation-Thank God for Ron Swanson, Donna and April!
Up All Night-I am really rooting for this one, but I need more Maya and Christina interaction.
Raising Hope-This is so underrated, but it really delivers every week consistently.

Brooklyn

Two Broke Girls-Ok...so this is my "sleeper hit" of the year. My friend Joni was watching and told me to check it out. I fully expected to hate it. It has a laugh track, manufactured banter, and lots of sexual innuendo. And yet, I LOVE IT. The girls are adorable and the set up of the show is clever.
Modern Family-Another consistently strong show.
The Neighbors-Don't judge me...but this show is really cute. Yes, there are aliens, but I have been showing it to my Chinese students and they LOVE it.
The New Normal-Ryan Murphy, creator of Glee, American Horror Story, and Nip/Tuck, kind of took a few characters and plots from a few different shows and mixed them into this one. It's working, but I don't think it will last too long. Still, I like it enough.

That's at least 20 hours of TV a week. I will probably add Criminal Minds, Body of Proof, Gossip Girl, and sprinkle in some Real Housewives (New Jersey and New York) here and there. And I would LIKE to start on How I Met Your Mother, Gilmore Girls, and Downton Abbey.

I guess you could say, I watch TV like it's my job.

How many hours a week do you watch? BE HONEST!

Blurgh: A Review of TV's Fall Return

I am so overwhelmed by all of the TV I have to watch. Anyone else wanna get in on blogging some TV shows? I really need to narrow down my options...there is no way I can sustain this when I'm back in America!

But until then....here are my thoughts.

I tried to give most of these shows at least 2 weeks before writing this blog. But you guys...what is UP with TV? I mean...

Glee-Is anyone else bored? Sure, the music is good...because the music is always good because it's MUSIC. But come on...nothing is grabbing me this season. I miss Santana. Kurt hanging out with Carrie (or whoever SJP is playing this time) is too much to believe. And bring back the Britney we used to love. The one who has the one-liners that were the best moments in the show! I have no idea what's going on with the "adults" in the show, was Sue even on it? See...I've tuned out. So bored...

Take note, Arizona...

Grey's Anatomy-I'm sorry, were you trying to make me want to kill myself? Because even though I did have an idea of what was coming in the season opener, I was sorely disappointed when it arrived. First of all, WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THE CRASH! Back it up Grey's. Show us how Meredith became her mom, how Cristina ended up in Narnia, and how Bailey turned into a joke. And Arizona...it's just a leg. Shonda...you don't GET to jerk us around like this and expect us to stick it out. Please dear God let this be the last season...

Scandal-Did I even see Season 1 of this show? Cause I am pretty sure I watched it and liked it, but when it opened, I was so lost. LOST I say! LIke more lost than I was in LOST! Who are these people? Is the FLOTUS really pregnant? And who is that girl on trial? Oh I think I remember something about her boyfriend dying and her being at the scene...is that was this is about?

Revenge-Meh. So the most riveting scene was supposed to be Charlotte's dramatic whisper to "Emily" at the art show? I was so happy to see Nolan, but the rest of the characters felt like strangers. And the big Victoria reveal was a knock on the door? Really? Didn't want to milk that mystery just a little bit more? Gah.

Up All Night-I'm trying not to be mad at Will Arnett for his divorce with Amy Poehler, but I am mad. Something about his skinny newly buff self is making me angry. And I think the anchor of the show was the fact that Ava and Reagan worked together on the talk show. Why is Reagan's brother there, and now Just Jack! Last season was so great...but they better pick it up fast and get some plot going if they want to see season 3.

Parks and Recreation-I'm trying not to be mad at Amy Poehler for her divorce with Will Arnett, but I am mad. Did she have work done? Her hair was different. Ron Swanson is the only redeeming part of this show at the moment. And Donna...more Donna please.

The Office-Andy is a joke. Jim and Pam need to get happy fast. I want to see one of the new guys (why are there new guys, we all know this show has to end soon) killed by the Scranton Strangler creating a desperate search for the killer during the season. At the end, it's discovered that it's Creed. The end. Also, let's see more Angela.

This is even weirder than those sister wives I used to have.

Once Upon A Time-Look, I loved season 1 even with the fantasy meets reality crossover. But let's be honest. Even though we knew that Emma was gonna be Mary's (Snow's) daughter, but then when it got here in the first episode this season it was like...awkward....I don't remember the rest, except I do like Mulan.

Maybe I wasn't in the mood, or ready for the seasons to begin, but based on what I've seen so far, my TV repertoire might get some major adjustments.

I did think that a few shows came back strong...

Raising Hope-Martha Plimpton is just fabulous. And the premise of this show never gets old. Poor is funny.

The New Girl-Who doesn't love Schmidt! Good return!

Modern Family-With the Emmy sweep it's no surprise that the show came back strong.

All of these kept me laughing.

I will discuss Dexter and Homeland as soon as I can find a way to watch them in China.
And I cannot wait to discuss 30 Rock and American Horror Story!

Awwww...I still want to be a Braverman!

But until then, what on EARTH would we do without.....
Parenthood-BEST SHOW ON TV. If you aren't watching, what ARE you doing?

TV REVIEW TIME....

What did you think about the above? 

What shows should I add to my lineup?

How NOT To Be On Nancy Grace

I've been watching a lot of crime shows lately. Criminal Minds, Law and Order (SVU), and I am considering starting...(swallow) Castle. Even though I think it's a campy rip off of Moonlighting and the premise itself is ridiculous. A writer being allowed to "help" solve cases! Yeah right. 


It's impossible to watch these shows and manage to avoid seeing the similarities to real life famous cases. There are constant comparisons between the fictional crimes they are investigating to those of high profile cases of the past 50 years. When I think of these media storms, one name comes to mind...Nancy Grace.

You do NOT want to cross this woman. 

Nancy Grace isn't kidding around. Her most recent rampage was directed at Casey Anthony, who was on trial for the murder of her daughter. She is famous for her thick southern accent that delivers her rhetorical and over the top verbal beatings, and of course the entertainment value of her rants. She likes to promote that she is concerned with victim's rights, and often creates more drama than is necessary surrounding any given case. It's working for her. The bottom line is that she is very concerned with making sure criminals get what's coming to them and that victims get vindicated.


A friend of mine suggested the other day that I write a blog about Nancy Grace and these crime shows I've been watching. (I love blog suggestions.) I wasn't sure where to start though.


Criminal Minds, SVU, and other crime dramas are enjoyable to watch because they are formulaic. Watch them enough and you start to get the timing down, you realize that defining lines get said at the same time by the same character in each episode, you start to pick up on whether or not the victim will live or die, and whether or not the criminal will be convicted, captured, or escape. It's a 40 minute roller coaster that you've ridden before. That's part of the fun of these shows. You come in watching what would ordinarily be a terrifying situation but because you've figured out the formula, you feel like you have a sense of power over it.  


I have no idea if these situations translate to real life, but based on what I have seen in my last few weeks of crime drama, I've compiled two lists of ways to avoid having your name come out of Nancy Grace's mouth. Because whether you're the bad guy or the victim, it's just a good idea to avoid being mentioned on her show.


How NOT to be a victim:
Don't go jogging.
Don't even wear work out clothes.
Don't be a blonde.
Don't have hair at all.
Don't be a kid.
If you have to be a kid, leash yourself to your parents.
If you leash yourself to your parents, make sure they are not crazy.
Don't live in the suburbs.
Don't live in the midwest.
Don't go from one room to another in your house.
If you go from one room to another, don't look in the mirror when you get to the second room.
Don't be rich.
Don't drink wine.


How NOT to be a bad guy:
Don't have access to a dungeon, a concrete hole, or any dark damp place.
Don't be anti-social.
Don't be a momma's boy.
Don't have daddy issues.
If you do have any issues, resolve them ASAP.
Don't have a nagging wife who tries to control you.
Don't own random tools.
Don't own a truck or a van.
Don't wear black.
Don't wear boots.
Don't get bullied as a child.
If you do get bullied, channel your anger into being the next Steve Jobs.
Don't be overly religious.


And in the spirit of staying out of all kinds of trouble, here are the famous words of 30 Rock's Jack Donaghy...

What's your plan for avoiding attention from Nancy Grace?

TV Couples that "Cross The Streams"

Any child of the 80's knows that there are a few rules you should always follow:
1. Never feed a Mogwai after midnight.
2. Don't say "Candyman" 5 times while looking in the mirror.
3. Don't take One Eyed Willie's treasure.
4. Never hate your baby brother or else David Bowie will kidnap him.
5. And finally...Whatever you do, DO NOT cross the streams.

Either we will explode, or save NYC!

We could collectively write an entire blog about these rules and more. But I just finished catching up on Gossip Girl, and I really need to talk about what I have found to be the television equivalent of crossing the streams.

In Ghostbusters, crossing the streams is what happens when the streams from the proton packs (that trap the ghosts) cross each other and create havoc on all things around them. Egon vaguely warns that crossing the streams "would be bad." He goes on to say that it would ruin life as we know it and our bodies would explode. Get the point? It's bad to cross the streams. They are not meant to be crossed.

You want us to what?

In Season 5 of Gossip Girl (now when I start a sentence like this it means I am going to give spoilers) Dan, the good boy from Brooklyn, and Blair, the Queen Bee of the UES end up together. As a couple. Together. Did I mention they get together? It's weird. It's unnatural. It's CROSSING THE STREAMS!

Dan's hair is too curly and he is a writer, and Blair is in love with Chuck and born to be a mean girl. She has never even spoken a kind word to him! It's a horrible match, but I couldn't help but watch. When they kissed the first time, I stared hoping that the actors would crack a smile at this obvious joke they were playing on the audience. But nope. No smiles. We were just supposed to forget everything we have known for 4 seasons and go with it. I hate it when writers think their audiences are stupid. But it happens a lot.

Here are some other TV couples that were dangerously close to ruining some of our favorite TV shows by crossing the streams with incompatible couples.

Like this.

Friends-Monica and Joey
OCD Monica and clueless Joey would have NEVER gotten together in real life, but through flashbacks/flashforwards we get to learn that Monica had a huge crush on Joey in the beginning and down the road could have ended up together. It's hard to pair Joey with any of the girls because he takes such a brotherly role with them. But I think we can all agree that if this particular couple had manifested, it would have been hard to watch even if they were fat and happy.

Not this.

Glee-Puck and Santana
Before Santana comes out as a lesbian, she makes the rounds though the guys in Glee, but her relationship with Puck is the one that lingers. Even when they are not dating, Santana makes whoever Puck is with, the target of her galactic bullying. It's obvious that they have a great connection, even if it is just physical, but there's no heart here. If anything this is a classic case of two people being too much alike, having too much in common. It doesn't stretch their characters the way that their other relationships do. Santana eventually softens up with Brittany and watching Puck's love for Lauren is just too much fun!

Santana + Puck = Suck.

Grey's Anatomy-George and Callie
It's fair to say that George with ANYONE is a horrible pairing, but this particular couple (if you can dig back and remember it) just never felt right. My personal thoughts? The writers were never sure up front if they were gonna keep Callie around. So they decided to get her into a relationship, knowing that when that relationship ended, they would have a chance to get rid of her if her character had not caught on. But when the actor playing George decided to go off the show, the Grey's staff found that Callie had some staying power and was actually a fan favorite. The couple itself never made much sense to me. Callie was so clearly a rebel, proved to us through her long sleeved hippie shirts sticking out from under her scrubs and untamed hair. George was an insecure dork who never quite cured his crush for Meredith. Let's not even analyze the facts that in real life the actor playing George is gay, and Callie ends up being a lesbian (or bi?) on the show. When George was killed off, it was more of notch in Callie's belt of tragedy, and only made us like her more. Poor George.

Awkward Anatomy.

30 Rock-Liz and Dennis
He's her comfort zone; the place Liz always returns to. But Dennis is the only beeper salesman left in New York (maybe the world), and was seen on Dateline and not for good reasons, not to mention, his pet name for our beloved Lemon is Dummy. And yet until recently, Liz just hasn't been able to stay away from Dennis, or keep him away from her. We adore Liz for her quirky habits that are way too similar to our own at times, but there's something about watching her be demeaned by someone as stupid and annoying as Dennis, that their relationship stopped playing as funny to us years ago. Liz, here's some advice...if he's the beeper king, you do not want a ring. SHUT IT DOWN.

Dealbreaker.

Of course, the thing about crossing the streams is that sometimes...it saves the world. In all of Egon's concern over not crossing the streams he forgot to tell us up front that sometimes, it works. So here is my vote for the couple that crossed the streams and managed to save the TV show in spite of what could have been an obvious mismatch.

Moonlighting-David and Maddie
It's the classic Taming of the Shrew storyline. Maddie Hayes (Cybill Shepherd) is a type A, independent former model and celebrity, accustomed to living well, that is until she loses everything except her detective agency. David Addison (Bruce Willis) comes along with his crazy antics and careless attitude and the two begin a business partnership and eventually a romantic one as well. The show itself is a classic in that it was the first to do a few things that we see all the time now on TV. It broke the fourth wall before most people had ever even heard of a fourth wall. The writing was excellent and combined drama and comedy, practically giving us the genre we now call, "dramedy." And of course it created a building tension between David and Maddie that audiences could NOT get enough of!

So much sexy.

The theory before Moonlighting was that having two characters on a show like this finally hook up would ruin the show. But the social campaigns (promoted through magazines) for David and Maddie to "do it" were so substantial that the writers eventually gave in. The episode where the two have sex was the highest rated in the show's history. In an unfortunate turn of events, David and Maddie did not stay together and thus viewers lost interest. This directly disproved the idea that having two main characters hook-up would kill the show and instead it proved the exact opposite, keeping them together might have saved Moonlighting. People wanted to see them together! With decreasing viewership, writer's strikes, Willis' booming movie career, and Shepherd's unwillingness to work the long hours, the show did die shortly after. But it remains one of the greatest TV romances of all times, even if they did cross the steams to get there.

What are some TV relationships that "cross the streams" to you? Sam and Diane? Elaine and Jerry? Angel and Buffy? 

I left out quite a few, state your case as to whether the relationship ends life as we know it, or saves the world!

My Summer (TV) To Do List

And by TV, I mean computer.

We've said our goodbyes to this year's television season, and it's time to look ahead to the Summer. Which really means, await the Fall for the return of all good television. Or, spend time catching up on what you've missed. Here's my Summer TV To Do List. Keep in mind, I have 2 months off of work to achieve this marathon of television! (Not that I couldn't get it done even if I was working...is that a bragging point?)

30 Rock- Re-watch Seasons 1-5 at least 3 more times-It's true, I will probably have this memorized by the time I leave China. Ever heard of Treat Yo' Self? Yep.

Once Upon a Time-I loved the first episode, but the time slot lost me. My mom says it's very entertaining. I love my mom. I think I'll watch. 

How did I miss this?! I love all of these people!

Freaks and Geeks-Two of my very different and very good friends suggest that this is worth my time. Sounds good to me.

Friday Night Lights-People rave about this show. Given that I grew up in the South where football is second only to God, I think I should probably see what the hype is about.

Glee-I need to see that dang season finale. Come on CHINA INTERNET PLEASE PLAY NICE! Talk about being left hanging. DO NOT tell me what happens.

Jenny...Dan is YOUR BROTHER...inappropriate! 

Gossip Girl-I'm in the middle of Season 3 now. I want to poke my eyes out, but I like Chuck Bass too much to do that. Guilty Pleasure all the way.

Game of Thrones-Catch up on Season 2.

Mad Men-Catch up on Season 5

Grey's Anatomy-Start from the beginning again just because.

Sports Night- Because it has Nate Fisher/Adam Braverman in it, and because my brother told me I would like it.

Looks like the cast of Friends played dress up in the cast of Gossip Girl's clothes.

How I Met Your Mother-Not sure how I missed out on this hype, but I did. Hope it's not too late to get in on it.

Dancing With The Stars-I know, I know. It's weird to watch this after all the voting has happened, but I like to watch dancing, and I still have managed to avoid hearing who won, and it's on Hulu, so why not!

What am I missing? What should I skip? 

What will YOU be watching this Summer? 

It's The Final Countdown: How To Leave 'Em Wanting More

One summer a friend of mine and I were working at a camp together. We were given the task to entertain a group of children for an hour. We only had a parachute. She pulled the parachute out began to play with the children. They loved it! But about 30 minutes in, she packed up the parachute and had them play tag, followed by hide and go seek. I was confused. That parachute would have easily entertained them for the entire hour. When I asked her about it later she said something I'd heard a million times, but never really seen in action: "Always leave 'em wanting more!" By quitting at the height of their enjoyment, she could always return with the parachute, it would always entertain them, it would always be successful.

Most fun ever.

It should be that way with television. Each season, we cross our fingers and wait to see if our love for characters, humor, and drama have translated into enough ratings and money to secure a place in next year's line up. This year, the news I was the most anxious to hear revolved around 30 Rock, Parenthood, SMASH (don't judge me) American Horror Story, and Community. All were renewed, even if some of those renewals had conditions such as: Community without Dan Harmon, rumors of entirely new story lines/characters in American Horror Story, and a final season for 30 Rock. I can live with that...just bring them back, I'm not ready to lose them yet!


Listen, no one wants to see their favorite shows cancelled. My cousin and I were the only ones in the world watching Best Friends Forever, and we both understand why it's gone, but are we happy about it? No. Because it speaks to some part of us. We all have our attachment issues, and breaking up is hard to do. But there's one thing that's worse that missing your favorite show....and that's watching it be totally ruined.

I miss them!

There are 2 kinds of show endings. The first is that the creators of the show decide it's time to cut it off. The second is that the network isn't making enough money and decides to cut it off. The most common is the second kind, because the truth is that people don't know when to put the "parachute" away. One notable exception to this is my personal favorite TV show in the history of TV, Six Feet Under. I will fight you to the death about the perfection of Six Feet Under. And here's the amazing thing, it only went 5 seasons. Because creator, Alan Ball, came to the network and said that he felt that the show had run it's course. Yeah, you heard me. He fired himself. But he did it because what he was creating with Six Feet Under was about making good TV. Not about staying on the air as long as possible!


The problem with TV today (wow, I sound old, uptight, and like I know everything. I'm not old.) is that somehow the networks and creators haven't caught onto the fact that for the most part, the generation they are dealing with these days wants authenticity, cleverness, and a sense of purpose. We want it in our own lives, and we want it in the TV characters' lives. And so when a show like ER ends with an entirely different cast than where it started, it doesn't feel real! That's not how we live our lives! It feels desperate and grasping and like this is really all about a paycheck.

Who are these people?

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW it's all about a paycheck, but I don't want to be reminded that it's all about a paycheck. I want to see a story arc come to completion, run it's course. I want to see characters evolve as they face hardship (even if that hardship is a bit too dramatic at times) and come out on the other side. I want to relate to them. And if it's a comedy, I want the inside jokes and one liners that started the show to end with it. Friends was great at this. The characters were strong, they evolved, we literally watched them grow up on TV, and before it was too silly or over the top or they took too many trips out of the country or used too many green screens, it ended. And we still love it today.

Perfect Timing.

But some of our favorites are in danger of going too long. It's time for a few of those shows that we love to consider saying goodbye. Now, don't get upset with me as I name your favorite show for cancellation material, but remember the parachute story. Don't you want to be able to miss it and watch it again without thinking of how boring it got in the end? We are talking quality here, not quantity. I suggest the following shows should go 1 more season and end, securing their places on pedestals instead of falling into the category of "Yeah, I used to watch it before..."

Community-I know. It hasn't been on long enough. But it's been on the chopping block since its inception.  And now, without Dan Harmon, I have my doubts. My friend Amy suggested that the 3 part finale of this season could have served as a great series closer. I agree. But it didn't go quite like that. And so if for some reason, Community actually manages to survive next year, I don't think that it should survive another year after that. Plus, it's community college. They have to leave at some point. And don't even THINK about bringing in new characters.

The Office-Please go away. Not only is it depressing seeing Jim and Pam all married with kids and not nearly as adorable as they once were (a writing issue, not a life situation issue), but Michael Scott was the heart of the show. To try to continue it without him has left me trying to remember why that red headed lady from Florida is in Michael's office and why Andy is acting like a fool. I would be okay to never see James Spader again (the same way I felt about him after seeing The Secretary), and even Dwight's antics can't revive this show. Please, just let it die. Write an ending. Shut Dunder Mifflin Down. Let Dwight and Jim be co-managers. ANYTHING. Just...enough. It hurts to watch.

When it's all over, I vote for a cooking show with Dexter as the host. Specialty: Breakfast.

Dexter-It's finally happened. Deb has finally seen the real Dexter. So, next season it's Deb vs. Dexter. We've always known it had to be this way. But it really has to end this way, and it has to end this season. Deb could go down in history in the Miami Metro Police Department if she turns him in. Is Dexter cold-hearted enough to go after Deb? Can they talk through it? Can Dexter explain and justify his reasons for killing? Will Deb let Dexter go, or will she pull a Sound of Music whistle blow on him and send him running for the hills? If none of the above happen, then we are looking at either the death of Deb, or incest, neither of which we want to see. Kill it off before it's squirming, please.


30 Rock-You know my love for this show, and I've already read that next season is the last. I'm glad. The show has always been a little exaggerated, but within regards to the revolving door of characters, it's been tamed to the love interests of Jack or Liz. This season, bringing on a new page, Hazel, just about killed me. The actress herself drives me crazy, but she doesn't work in the cast. We love Kenneth. But we love him for the role he plays, which is not the protagonist. Liz is the protagonist (though Jack would argue that). The page storyline just gets us off focus from where we really want to be. Tracy, Jenna, Liz, and Jack. So, please. Let Jack call Nancy Donovan (Julianne Moore) and rekindle with her happily in Boston, let Kenneth rise to Jack's position as the new executive, and for the love of God give Liz her baby with her current adorable boyfriend, while she is still happily working on TGS. Let her finally, have it all. 

Grey's Anatomy-You know I love it, but it's time to go. I want to see the characters land. They are grown up doctors now, with grown up relationships. It's time to tie up the loose ends. If Arizona is gonna die, let Mark and Callie live happily ever after. Meredith and Derek have a child now, we want to see them be responsible enough to stay together and raise her after they fought so hard for her. Yang and Hunt are going to get back together and pour themselves into that hospital. Let Bailey have her man. And Alex. Sigh...Alex. Just don't bring in a new batch of residents and get some ER thing going. I don't want this show to be unrecognizable in 5 years. 

Speaking of always leave 'em wanting more...I cannot WAIT!

What shows do you want to see cancelled before they go bad?  

Happy Birthday Elizabeth Stamatina Fey!!!

What the what!

Today is the birthday of one of my favorite celebrities, Tina Fey! Sometimes I try to think about what my life was like before Tina was a part of my weekly routine. But those kinds of thoughts are really not worth my time. And anyway, I'm certain I was depressed back then. But not anymore. Before I moved to China for the year, I decided to invest in 1 TV series on iTunes. I landed on 30 Rock. I have been here for 3 months, and I've seen the first 5 seasons about 5 times through so far. Never. Gets. Old.


I could seriously geek out over Tina Fey to a point that anyone reading this might:
A. Think I need a life
B. Think I should be locked up
C. Fear for Tina Fey's life


Not only is Tina an incredible comedy/television writer, but her book, Bossypants is seriously one of the greatest things I have ever read. Or heard. (I recommend the audiobook so you can hear her read it.) Fey's impression of Palin will outlast Palin herself. She is an endearing advocate for social equality. She is humble, giving others credit for her success, she is focused on what matters in life, and she stays out of the tabloids. I could go on and on about my admiration for this woman, but at the risk of sounding a little too obsessed, I will just give you a recount of my personal favorite Liz Lemon moments. No matter how obscure they might be!


1. Season 5: Episode: It's Never Too Late For Now
Not only is this one of the BEST 30 Rock Episodes, it also contains one of my favorite Liz moments. Spinster Liz comes to work with a sweatshirt on, a fanny pack, her hair pulled back with a chip clip, and a cat. She announces that she has named her cat, Emily Dickinson, and as the writers groan, she repeats, "NAMED HER EMILY DICKINSON" over their objections. Most of my cats have had literary names. I get this.


2. Season 5: Episode: Brooklyn Without Limits
The connectivity of this episode to the world of capitalism that we live in today made it so much more fun to watch. Liz finds the perfect pair of jeans and insists she will wear them out of the store. When the clerk asks her what she wants to do with her old jeans, she says, "Burn Them. BURRRRNNN THEM!" We've all been there.


3. Season 3: Episode: Jackie Jormp-Jomp 
Liz is suspended from work for sexual harassment, and in her time off gets mixed up with a group of women who spend their days doing pilates, drinking wine, getting massages, shopping, and lunching. Before long her days start to blur together and she decides that this life is the life she wants to live instead of her normally obsessed-with-work life. At one point in the show she says to the women, "Eating right, working out, sleeping. Boy, is anyone else BMing like a rock star?" It's not long before Liz discovers that the group of women are actually a fight club. At this realization she says, "Ahhh. This is very disappointing!" A few minutes later she is back at work with a black eye. The fun of this episode is seeing Liz out of her element.


4. Season 4: Episode: Future Husband
Liz has had oral surgery and wakes up to find a toaster waffle in her DVD player. She calls Jack and he informs her that she was a little out of it and "watched it for about an hour, said Nicole Kidman should get an oscar for it then you turned it off...You kept trying to order home massages off of Craig's List." Just then a knock at Liz's door and someone says in a deep scary voice, "Hey, somebody order a massage?" Liz responds in the most ridiculous accent, "You're too late, I already killed her!" Hilarious.


5. Season 2: Episode: Jack Gets in the Game
Jack has had a secret heart attack and can no longer eat red meat. He calls Liz to his office and offers her a steak. She thanks him and tells him that it will make a great sandwich, then he explains that she must eat it in front of him. She says, "You want to watch me eat this steak in front of you?" Jack says, "That's what I want." Liz shrugs, and says, "Ok." A few minutes later, Jack has given one of his thoughtful monologues while pacing in his office, and as he turns, he sees the steak is gone. Liz is chewing. Shocked, he says, "You ate that whole thing!?" Still chewing she looks around and says, "A dog took it...he came out of nowhere." Comedy Gold.


Honorable mentions: 


Anytime Liz slaps Kenneth, which happens a lot more than you realize until you've seen the show on repeat for 3 months.


Anytime Liz mentions food.


Anytime Liz says "Shut it down."


Any flashback to a Liz of the past.

What's your favorite thing about Tina Fey 

or your favorite Liz Lemon moment???

Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Mother! 5 TV Moms You Do NOT Want To Mess With

Not everyone can be Clair Huxtable or Carol Brady. In this day and age, it takes a new level of strength to be a mom. So in honor of Mother's Day, here are 5 of the best and baddest moms on TV!

Hans Gruber was a piece of cake compared to this family!

1. Camille Braverman-Parenthood
Everyone wants to be a Braverman. Even with the drama of sibling rivalry, lost jobs, changing love, and raising kids, no one on TV is more loyal or has more fun than this hippie family. But that kind of camaraderie wouldn't exist without a matriarch like Camille Braverman. Though most of her scenes are short and revolve around giving advice to one of her adult children while she pours tea or paints, Camille is no pushover. If anything, she is the rock of the Braverman clan. She is feminine and a feminist, open-minded and self-controlled. She balances out her borderline irrational husband Zeek, shows tough love, and does it all with just the right amount of wet behind her eyes.

Claire doing what any mother would do on a night out; rebel against napkins.

2. Claire Dunphy-Modern Family
With a free spirit husband like Phil, it's no wonder that Claire comes across as the neurotic twin sister that Monica Geller never had. Claire adores her family while never losing sight of the fact that they are all so weird. Her raspy voice and passionate nature make even the most simple statement out of her mouth come across as an argument or rant. She is controlling, takes herself too seriously, and when she does occasionally let her hair down, it almost always backfires. Claire manages to maintain control in the wackiest of situations because of her keen observation skills. She knows her family so well, she can predict exactly what they are going to do at any moment and she is ready for their antics. Give her 25 years and she will be as calm as Camille Braverman.

She once got Jet Blue to accept an AmTrak Ticket. 

3. Colleen Donaghy-30 Rock
There is only one woman who can make Jack Donaghy-the NBC executive, super conservative, proud member of the 1%, and mentor to Liz Lemon-weep...his mother, Colleen Donaghy. Colleen spends most of her days situated leisurely in Florida with other retirees, but is known for her surprise visits to New York to berate and belittle her son. With one look, Colleen commands everyone at 30 Rock into submission. She is cynical, critical, cunning, and Irish Catholic which makes her Jack's worst nightmare. With each visit, more of their relationship is revealed, and while Colleen might fake a heart attack to control Jack, she does it all out of love...we think.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Or maybe it kills you.

4. Vivien Harmon-American Horror Story
No matter what life has thrown at you this year, Vivien can top it. Her world turned upside down when her husband cheated on her and in an attempt to stay together, moved the family to an extremely haunted house in LA. While trying to nest, she comes face to face with the demons of the house, creepy neighbors, a depressed daughter, and a husband who thinks she is crazy. All of this while she is pregnant with the child of a man/ghost in a rubber suit. It sounds a little strange even if you are familiar with the series. It's hard to admire Vivien in her more emotional moments, but ultimately she makes this list because no one else on TV has had to endure the trauma she has. Oh, and did I mention, she's a ghost?

Virginia is for lovers...and grandmothers, husbands, grown kids, and grandchildren.

5. Virginia Chance-Raising Hope
Virginia was just 15 when she became a mom, and only 39 when she became a grandmother. This alone makes her awesome. Virginia embodies all of the best qualities of a lower middle class mother. She takes care of her grandmother, plays games with her fun-loving husband, Burt, houses and harasses her adult son, Jimmy, and babysits her granddaughter, Hope, all while working full time as a maid. She is not a housekeeper in her own home, but her blunt delivery of hard truths and off the wall solutions to life's everyday problems make her one of the most fun mothers on television. She never loses her patience with anyone in the house, and even though she pursues silly get rich schemes with Burt from time to time, she is the ultimate example of being content with what you have.

You think this is hard? Try being a mom!

Honorable Mention: Sue Sylvester from Glee
Sue is not a mom yet, but she is pregnant. And if there is one mother you do not want to mess with, Sue would be that mother. Of course we've seen Sue's sensitive side through past seasons as she dealt with her sister, and everyone's favorite cheerleader, Becky. But Sue is known for her hard-hitting insults and high standards. Either her kid will be a badass off the old block, or have the highest therapy bill in TV land.


Who would you add to the list and why?

Somebody Bring Me Some Ham!!!

Liz's ode to Meat Cat

I want to be Liz Lemon. Since I cannot be her, I would settle for marrying her. Since she only has eyes for Beeper Kings and Astronaut Mike Dexter, I wouldn't mind just bringing her a sandwich from time to time. Or everyday. 


And by Liz Lemon, I mean Tina Fey.