The Commissioner Gordon Maneuver

POW! So much color. 

I love a good superhero movie. I have never been a comic book reader, but I know the movies I enjoy have a respectable and historical origin. One of my favorite series of superhero movies was the Batman movies of the 80's and 90's. You know the ones...Michael Keaton was Batman, Jack Nicholson was The Joker. There was enough cheese to honor the original TV show, with enough darkness to appeal to my adolescent melancholy. My brother loved them too, but since he is 5 years younger than me and a boy, I imagine it had more to do with car chases and guns.


When I was in high school and my brother was old enough to recognize actors and actresses, we heard about the game, 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. We never really knew the details of how to play it, and though I could make an educated guess, I can't say I ever really bothered to learn the rules. We had our own version of the game. We would name two random celebrities and connect them through movies. We would see who could connect them in the fewest "moves." In doing this, we learned perhaps one of the greatest connectors of all times. We called it, "The Commissioner Gordon Maneuver."

Holy Nipples Batman!

Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, and Batman and Robin were some of the most star studded movies of the decade. Now before you groan, I never said they were GOOD movies. I love them because they are fun, but there is no argument that Christopher Nolan's recent Batman franchise put these oldies to shame. Still, like I said, they were a fun middle ground between the cheese of the old TV show and the goth of the new Nolan movies, and they fit in perfectly with the excess and fun of that time period.


More to the point, almost every substantial star from that time was in at least one of those 4 movies. Just take a look: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Jerry Hall, Billy Dee Williams, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Val Kilmer, Nicole Kidman, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Drew Barrymore, Chris O'Donnell, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Uma Thurman, George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, Elle Macpherson, Vivica A. Fox....and those are just the "main" characters. 

You look like an impostor...I thought Keaton was Batman!

The role of Batman and the villains changed from movie to movie, but one thing stayed the same was Commissioner Gordon, portrayed by Pat Hingle. My brother and I discovered that Commissioner Gordon was a surefire way to connect any two movie stars.


Want to connect Brittany Murphy and Diane Keaton?
1.Brittany Murphy and Alicia Silverstone in Clueless
2.Silverstone and Commissioner Gordon (we never called him Hingle) in Batman and Robin
3.Commissioner Gordon and Jack Nicholson in Batman
4.Nicholson and Keaton in Something's Gotta Give 
Boom.


Okay okay, so it's not always the most efficient way to get it done, especially in light of all the movies that have been made since we started playing the game 15 years ago!  But the maneuver can ALWAYS get it done. Upon reflection, it turns out that we could have just as easily used the "Alfred Maneuver," as Alfred is played by Michael Gough in all 4 Batman movies. But it doesn't sound as good. 


Of course there are other actors that this works with. Regina King, Kevin Bacon (the original connector), Clint Howard, and now with more epic trilogies in play, there are more simple helps like the "Snape Segue," or the "Jacob Junction." But as for me and my brother, we will always remember the Commissioner Gordon Maneuver as one of the defining tricks that helped us to grow into our obsession love for movie trivia.