"When I say it out loud it all falls apart." -Thoughts on The OA

On Friday at my friend Amy's recommendation, I started watching The OA. I finished it close to 9 hours later.

Then yesterday, I watched it all over again. 

And today...I'm considering watching it again.

As an English teacher, I do think my vocabulary is probably more expansive than the average person, but I am also very aware that I rarely even begin to utilize the capacity of words that I know exists within me. Instead I come to the table of description like an excited pre-teen, overusing words like awesome, great, brilliant, love, and most recently, fantastic. These words are all just different heights of the word good, capturing slightly different aspects and excitement levels of whatever song, movie, book, or TV show that I've recently experienced and happen to be sharing about. 

I have deep regret over this today as I type, because I have misused, and possibly even abused language in my previous descriptions of pop-culture. I should have been more specific, more measured, and more grounded in my enthusiasm for whatever it was I had just taken in. I cried wolf too many times.

My regret comes today because, like the boy who cried wolf, I want you to believe me this time. And I'm afraid I've wasted all of my words on lesser things. So I'm going to try to present my thoughts about The OA in this blog with more consideration than my usual tag-lines of: "Amazing! So good! Brilliant!" Though be sure, all of that and much more is true about this show.

Given that I have a blog that is dedicated to pop-culture, you can assume that I spend a lot of time engaged with it. I will watch just about anything, though I definitely have my preferences. If you're new here and trying to calibrate my tastes, my all time favorite comedy is 30 Rock and my all time favorite drama is Six Feet Under. Both are acquired tastes that many people don't see through to completion. So if Full House is your "go to" comedy and SVU is your idea of drama, (both of which I have watched), then I can't promise you'll enjoy The OA. It's definitely a risk.

The best way I can describe The OA is like this: If Lost and Flatliners and Stranger Things had a TV show baby, it would be The OA. For me it's the most reminiscent of Lost. The characters are strong, the music is good, the story is incredible, but there's this other-worldly element to it. I was hesitant at first, because once the writers of Lost confessed that they had no plan, it made me cynical toward anything with a "fantasy" component to it. They let us down, and that was rude and irresponsible to the fans and the story. So naturally, I did some reading and found out that The OA's creators started with a storyboard that led them through different dimensions, lives, and timelines. They storied it all out to completion before they ever wrote an episode. This should alleviate any lingering distrust for those of you who have been burned before. Not that EVERY loose end gets pleasantly wrapped up, but that there is POTENTIAL for it to be wrapped up. Everything is on purpose, even if it isn't addressed in the first season. And THAT is damn good writing. 

While there is talk of a second season, the first season can and does stand alone. That's a feat in itself for a show like this. There are only 8 episodes to work with in order to give the season enough completion but also, to stop the season with enough potential to keep going forward in a second season. In some ways this feels like a very long movie. I would highly suggest watching it that way if you can. The gift that Netflix gives us is that we get to experience things in their entirety all at once if we'd like to. Be sure that this is a gift. Think of it like listening to an album instead of just one song. Fleetwood Mac's album, Rumours, gave us the song Dreams, but you can't really understand and fully appreciate Dreams unless you understand The Chain. Maybe Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon is the best example of this. Albums are meant to be consumed as a whole, and I think The OA is too.  

The OA isn't everyone's cup of tea. In fact, according to Twitter and comments on articles I've read, a lot of people have abandoned it. For this reason, I recommend that it is best viewed in solitude. There are some things that happen that you might feel silly about or maybe you won't know how to feel, and having someone else in the room going through that same thing will probably result in awkward giggling or comments, that I honestly believe will pull you out of the show and belittle the intensity and experience of it. 

Even though I think you should watch alone, I think you should definitely have a support group ready after you watch. Not because it's such a horrifying ending, but because I have never wanted to talk about a show as much as I want to talk about this one. For those of you who know me, this is me begging you to understand that THERE REALLY IS A WOLF THIS TIME. I'm sure I've said it before, but this show has left me with a deep desire to connect to others who appreciate, enjoy, and ideally, are as overwhelmed by it as I am. I'm ready when you are....

I want to address a few key moments, and while I don't intend to give outright spoilers, I don't want to ruin any of it for those of you who haven't watched and intend to. 

I will limit myself because I could truly go on and on, but I will save some material for actual discussions. Here are a few of my favorite parts/things about the show: 

1. Whoever thought to run credits almost 50 minutes into the first episode as Prairie starts to tell her story is a genius. I wasn't sure what was even happening. But when she begins her story and the music changes and suddenly you're flying over a snowy Russian landscape, it feels transcendent. I have never seen anything like that in a show before, and it drew me fully in.

2. Prairie (played by Brit Marling), clearly exists on another level, and her voice while she tells her story and her facial expressions are so perfectly acted. Marling had a hand in the creation of the story and her investment shows. 

3. My friend Amy, who recommended the show, described it as "intimate." And I completely agree. At times, I felt like I was intruding on the characters. The connections they develop made tears stream down my face uncontrollably and unexpectedly. I had no idea I would be moved the way I was, or that I COULD be moved the way I was. And through that feeling, I am so very aware of the need for intimacy in life, something that transcends the day to day catching up and pleasantries, and reaches deep down into me, stirs me and settles me simultaneously. It's a call to the deep, not in some religious way that overshadows faith, but in a coming home kind of way. The dialogue, the movements, it's all pushing you to access some part of yourself you've probably hidden away. Which is why it feels intimate. It's almost like the show is revealing that it knows you are capable of this, and it's calling you to show that side of yourself, it's reminding you that everyone has the capacity for this intimacy. 

4. That leads me to my favorite scene, which is in episode 5 toward the end. The song Downtown by Majical Cloudz plays during the scene, and at some point I just got lost in it. I won't spoil it, but this is probably the point in the show where people either bail or fall in. I fell in. And I've had the song Downtown on repeat, that is when I haven't been watching the show itself.

5. The ending is terrifying and gorgeous and breathtaking and full-circle enough, but full of curiosities all at the same time. Even though I was crying, I felt such a hopeful peace while I watched. I want to explain a little more about the feeling I'm talking about. 

This feeling can most closely be associated with the feeling I get at a Baseball game when everyone sings the National Anthem or when 9/11 happened, or even when Coldplay performs Fix You and the crowd sings the end together. The feeling I had, and still have, is more about the connectedness of humanity. The way we are constantly striving for that level of intimate connection and we all have it to offer and it's right there to reach out and grab, but we get in the way with pride and fear and even the mundanities of day to day life. We have told ourselves to ignore the need for that feeling, in order to survive, to not have to feel the deep hurts that come from really knowing and loving each other. But we sacrifice the beauty of being truly known and loved when we run from that feeling. Yeah, the show evoked all of that for me. (If you're reading this and you think I might need to be committed, can you just give me a 30 min heads up so I can go take a shower before they come for me?)

I could go on and on, and if you're my friend and you decide to watch, just know this might rival my obsession with Hamilton...you should probably just get out while you can...because I want to discuss this show.  With ANYONE and EVERYONE who is willing. In my classes I often talk to my students about the necessity to be versed in both politics and pop-culture because it's all connected. The key to making something meaningful is sharing it with someone else. The conversations that come because of shows like The OA are the gifts from the artists who created them. For those of you who think that pop-culture is somehow the lesser of possible cultural interests a person could have, you're doing it all wrong. If this were a book, we would be celebrating it and bragging about having read such a masterpiece, but for some reason, visual formats have to work harder and some never get the same kind of appreciation, or if they do, it takes decades. The conversation about the art is what builds its legacy.

In the 1993 movie, True Romance, Patricia Arquette's character, Alabama, says she likes to get a piece of pie and talk after she's seen a movie. If a character in an old Tarantino film, who has just watched a few kung-fu movies, can engage in a conversation about it afterward...I'm sure you and I can too. 

(Bonus points to anyone who can make a connection between True Romance and The OA)

Listen, I usually lean into things that are accessible to all. I like my poetry horoscopic and my horoscopes nice and vague. But in the case of The OA, I will just go ahead and acknowledge that not all of you will enjoy it. Please know that it is still very accessible to you, just maybe not today, or not in the room with the person who is sitting there with you now, or not in the midst of your multi-tasking. But if you will suspend your disbelief, open yourself up just a little, and let yourself get lost in it, I think you will find that The OA has more to offer than you can possibly imagine.

Did I do it? Did I get my words right this time?

Summer Nights

I'm not sure about you, but I have really been enjoying my summer. I'm teaching, but it's a much lighter load than my usual semesters, so I end up having these long stretches of time to enjoy myself. I thought I'd do a blog of recommendations for those of you looking for ways to spend your lazy days!. Here are some things I've watched/read/listened to recently that I think are worth your time!

WATCH

The Good Wife...she's really not that good.

1. The Good Wife-All 7 seasons are finally out on Hulu, and I binged my way through in about 3 weeks. Aside from incredible acting, this show manages to deliver a strong story arc from beginning to end. Once I realized that it's really just a law show, I expected it to become rather formulaic, but it avoided that trap and actually delivered some fresh and creative takes on the same court cases that show up time and time again. While I wasn't pleased with the last half of the last season, (it feels a little rushed and the characters I grew to love just seem to disappear) I can forgive it because as a whole this show is pretty complex. I gave it a solid 8 on IMDB.

2. Love-I had about 6 people Snapchat me to tell me that they thought I would like this show, and they were right. While I'm really trying to commit to only watching shows that are completed, I have a few exceptions on the list and this is one of them. You can find it on Netflix and there is only 1 season so far. This is Judd Apatow's latest endeavor, so if you already know that you don't enjoy him, probably just stay away. However, Love is quirky and probably one of the more true to life shows I've seen in a while. I don't want to say too much about this one except that I think it's down to earth and I like that it doesn't rush itself. You might find that you want more from it...and isn't that the thing about love...? I gave it a 7 on IMDB.

3. The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story- Every time I bring this up, someone says, "I don't have to watch it, I lived it." Yeah yeah. Sure. But set your cynicism and ego aside and see what you can learn over 20 years after we all watched the famous Bronco chase down the freeway. Hindsight is everything, and Ryan Murphy (Glee/American Horror Story) brought his A-Game to the table for this show. In fact, it just received 22 Emmy nominations right behind Game of Thrones. I actually have one of my classes watching the show and doing a weekly analysis of the cultural contents then compared to today, along with an exploration of argument philosophies used throughout the case. The class as decided that sadly, not much has changed in 20 years. But amazingly, the show provides some context for the world we are living in and how we got here. The acting is superb. It's like watching a very well-crafted train wreck where you already know the outcome, but cannot look away. I  have actually watched the 10 episodes 4 times now, and I am enthralled each time. I gave this a 10 on IMDB.

4. Chelsea-Over the last decade I have slowly grown to love Chelsea Handler. I thought she was a little too "out there" for me at first, but then I realized, that her persona is not a character she's working, it's just who she is. (Insert comments about my naivety here, but I stand by this statement). And I do respect authenticity. Chelsea is a representation of the progression of women in comedy. Gone are the days of Carol Burnett's slapstick and Ellen's stand up. Even Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are by most standards rule followers, toeing the line, but always knowing where the line is. Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler have no idea where the line is and they honestly don't care. And it infuriates most people. Women have basically stopped playing by the rules and it's pissing people (mostly men) off. If you don't believe me, just read the comments from men about the new Ghostbusters movie, they are so scared we are going to take over! And Chelsea just might do that. Her show is on Netflix with a new episode released weekly. It's raw and funny and insightful and intriguing. Each episode is stand alone and introduces a new topic that she wants to learn about. The learning is not thorough, but that's by design. It's a short show and we have short attention spans. While the media continues to insult Chelsea, she has no problem surrounding herself with celebrity friends and other people who will gladly give her 10 minutes to discuss whatever thing she's exploring. She loves sex and alcohol and hates Trump. But there's a lot she doesn't understand, and that is what this show is about. Enlightenment. I gave this show an 8 on IMDB.

READ

2014 was Gone Girl, 2015 was The Girl on the Train, now this. Writers, you know what to do!

5. The Girls by Emma Cline-My friend Joni spotted this title in a Good Housekeeping magazine back in May and texted that we should read it, I pre-ordered it that day. It released on June 14th and has been dubbed the book of the summer. Last I checked it was #3 on the Hardcover Fiction NYT Bestsellers. I read this in 5 hours. I could not put it down. It's beautifully written about a period of time I dream of often: Northern California in the late 1960's. It follows 14 year old Evie who finds herself in the midst of changes in her own life, which makes her perfectly ripe for falling into a new group of friends and their leader, Russell. As the book goes on, the reader realizes that the story is reminiscent of the Manson "family". Emma Cline is 27 and this is her first book. The way she explores the relationship between girls and their need for acceptance from others is so hard to read because every woman has been there at some point in their lives. It's a beautifully haunting book that enters into terrifying territory through a simple relationship, reminding the reader that anyone could be one friendship away from danger. I gave it a 5 on Goodreads.

6. All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister-I am slowly reading my way through this epic nonfiction work by Traister, a New York Magazine contributor. I heard about it on one of my favorite podcasts, "Call Your Girlfriend." The podcast had a meet-up in San Francisco, and Traister was there reading live from her book. The passages she read were addictive, discussing the way women are fulfilled in life, and the need to stop comparing our lives to what we are told they should be. When she stopped reading, I wanted more. I started reading this about a month ago, and it's a lot to wade through. Every single world is measured so carefully and is so validating that each chapter is like digesting a huge steak. It takes time to process and understand. It's also a little infuriating. The way that women have been set up to fail from the start of our country is damning to the fundamentals of Christianity as well as the ideals of equality and freedom that the USA so loves to claim and cling to. But the beauty of the book is that Traister is not mad. She's a reporter, and as I tell my students all the time, if you have good research, you can let the research speak for itself. Perhaps the most important thing the book offers is that there is no one right way to be a woman. The average age of marriage for women is up to 29 now and climbing. There are more single women than ever in our country, and that number is climbing too. Traister's book allows women to look past the assigned checklist of life (College, Job, Marriage, House, Babies) and validates that there are millions of us doing it a little differently. As a single 37 year old who loves to hang out with friends and travel, Traister's book is giving me permission to be happy now in this life rather than hoping any day now when I start my checklist, my happiness will begin. It should be noted that Traister is not anti-marriage (she is married, herself), nor is she anti-male. She's just pro-woman, and that's great to read. I gave it a 5 on Goodreads.

7. Jasmine by Bharati Mukerjee- I actually chose this book for one of my classes, but as I read it, it spoke to me more deeply than just another supplemental text for a class. While I do think the book starts out a little slow, once the reader starts to find out about the journey Jasmine has been on from her home country of India to her current place in life, Iowa, I couldn't put it down. It's a fiction book, but could easily be the story of any person coming to America for the first time. Aside from a good narrative, the book offers subtle commentary on what it means to inundate oneself to the American way of life, as well as the parts of humanity that are not dictated by birth or border. I was pleasantly surprised with it and found myself crying as I turned the last pages. I gave it a 4 on Goodreads.

LISTEN

Who tells your story?

8. Hamilton: An American Musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda-You'd have to be living under a rock to have managed to miss the hype surrounding Hamilton, but I'm gonna just go ahead and jump right on that bandwagon now. I purchased the full recording about 10 days before the Tony's, and I am so glad I did. I haven't stopped listening yet. I have always been amazed by people who not only write music, but write incredible lyrics, and actually twist all of that into a story. Add another layer to this production, because it's not a story Miranda could make up from scratch, he had to commit to the (mostly) true history of Alexander Hamilton's life. Sheer brilliance. It's as timely as it is inspirational, and it's damn catchy too. In case you were thinking that maybe it's been oversold, I'm here to tell you, the hype is legit. Go listen now!

9. Lemonade by Beyonce- I should be clear, I'm referring to her music in this entry, not the visual album. So, I've been meaning to blog an entire blog on this, but I've decided to fit it into this one instead. I will admit that while I respect the influence Beyonce has had on the world, I have not been a big fan of her music in the last decade. But when Lemonade dropped, I picked it up to try again. Especially with all of the rumors circulating and cultural references being made--I am nothing if I'm not a fan of connectivity in the world. I had this on repeat for about a month after I listened. The album is a reminder that Beyonce doesn't have to grunt, whisper, or repeat herself to make music, she can really sing. It's a diverse album with a lot of unpredictable style and varied tracks on it, and it offers an empowering message. It's not Katy Perry's Roar or Sara Bareilles' Brave, which seek to build you up, Beyonce's message is more about breaking you out. I know there are rumors that the implication of Jay-Z cheating on her was a publicity stunt for selling the album, and if that's the case, I have to say Beyonce is taking a risk that no one has come close to taking with their stardom so far; deliberately spitting in the face of her fans to see if they will ride the rollercoaster with her. And most likely, they will. I'm afraid I would have to get off of that ride if that proves to be the case. There's a line between marketing strategies and blatantly lying to people to make money, and Beyonce is in a unique position to influence for good. But my gut (remember, we've already established that I'm naive) says that the time and heart Beyonce put into this album come from a real and raw place, which is what ultimately makes it so appealing and enjoyable. Anyone can be drunk in love, but it takes investment to offer a real piece of yourself to your fans.

10. Tell Me I'm Fat by This American Life- I listen to TAL weekly as a podcast on my drive to work, but this episode (#589) had me listening to it three times, jotting down names of books and people mentioned as I replayed it each time. As our culture begins to move into a more accepting place regarding what a body should look like, it's discussions like the one in this episode that will eventually move us to total change. Listening to a fat girl talk about coming out as fat, sharing the problems with finding clothing, and revealing that she is at her happiest, her most confident, is vital in a nation where the average woman is a size 14. On the other hand the podcast reveals the doubts of a woman who has recently lost over 100 pounds and finds herself married to someone who would not have loved her if she had not been skinny, forcing her to question everything. As a fat woman, I have spent too many years hating and shaming myself in this skin. I want to be healthy and strong, and I am. I am probably the most confident I have ever been, and I have no intention of altering my body in dangerous ways or never eating cake again just so other people might be more comfortable when they look at my skin. This episode is validating but challenging too, and incredibly painful to hear during some sections.

What are you watching/reading/listening to this summer!?

Why I Cry When Music Idols Die

It started back in January. I rolled over to the sound of the buzzing alarm on my phone and searched for the snooze button. I am not a snoozer really, but I will allow myself those 9 minutes between the initial waking and the getting out of bed to quickly look at what I've missed in the world while I was asleep. I pulled up Facebook first and clicked over to the trending topics. Personal notifications are like candy...they are the people I know saying something I care about, liking or commenting on my links and pictures, they're the dessert. But the trending topics must come first. I need to know if it's worth it to get out of bed each day. I always look at the trending topics and think, maybe today is the day the giant Interstellar wave or Melancholia is going to destroy earth. If that's the case, I have bourbon to drink and people to call. Teaching is not an option on a day like that. Trending topics tell me what I have missed that our society has decided matters. And so on this particular day when I clicked over to see the stats on the latest mass shooting, or what Kardashian was in the news, I never expected to see that David Bowie had died.

I felt my eyes well up immediately. I thought about my cousin who introduced me to Bowie when we were children. My 36 years flashed before my eyes and I saw myself as a child watching Labyrinth, driving along in my rusty Datsun as a teenager with Heroes blasting, and more recently, celebrating his music in some of my favorite movies and television shows of the last few decades, The Wedding Singer, Moulin Rouge, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, and American Horror Story just to name a few. Even though I was born in 1979 and missed several of Bowie's more celebrated phases, his music was still working its way through my life in 2016.

My 9 minutes were up, and though the world wasn't ending with some massive wave or planet crashing into Earth, the news of Bowie's death felt just as devastating and final as any of those apocalyptic situations might.

I showered, got ready, and drove my hour commute while singing Heroes through uncontrollable sobs, the entire way. My mom was in town, and that night we watched as tribute was paid. I'm crying now just thinking of it.

Last week was no different. When the news of Prince's death made its way to me (this time via text), I cried. I cried so hard. I was so grumpy and mad at the injustice of it, though death shows no prejudice. I flashed back to all the upbeat pop songs I enjoyed in my childhood, the way Prince was clearly doing a "new" thing in regards to perception, fashion, branding, and from what I could tell in my limited teen knowledge of these things, he even seemed to be playing with gender and sexuality in a way that made him almost impossible to label. But it didn't matter that no one could label him, because everyone loved his music. I have spent the weekend discussing Prince with my friends, most of whom are older than me, and they were as devastated by his passing as I was. Shocked, sad, and yet, we were all so confused as to why this matters to us in ways that make us feel grief so big and real.

So I thought about it, and here are a few of my theories:

1. Nostalgia.-These artists take us back to a time when life was not as hard or complicated. Innocence was in tact, mistakes had yet to be made. I didn't have many regrets as an 8 year old, and not even as an 18 year old. We were more carefree than we are now. And not just because of age, but because the world was different. Not to say that it was better, it was just so different and given that all change is perceived as loss, it only makes sense that we would long for those years of simplicity. It's the curse of humanity...it's what Gatsby is about. It's what everything is about. Almost all of us want to go back in time to relive, change, or simply just relish in a moment. Music transports us to those times, and we are able to almost feel the same feelings that we once felt. Unburdened and pure.

2. Music is not what it once was.-This is not to say that all music today sucks. I want to be clear on that. However, with technologies like autotune and apps that play the guitar for you, it's easier than ever to produce music. But make no mistake, it is a production. It's not always art, it's lights and choreography, and sometimes it's barely music. Bowie and Prince (among others of that time) had to be all in. They were pursuing their dreams, not dabbling on the side hoping for YouTube views and Facebook likes. They had to learn to play instruments, and usually taught themselves. They had to write music and constantly reinvent themselves along with the culture. Marketing today is easier than ever with social media. Everyone has their 15 minutes of fame, but these musicians worked hard for it. And they were and remain impressive. A few years ago I heard Fleetwood Mac perform and it was truly a performance. They played for almost 4 hours straight, despite being in their 70's, and didn't miss a note. This is in great contrast with Justin Bieber who performed 6 songs and an encore in Fresno a few weeks ago. Fleetwood Mac told stories of sharing one room and a queen sized mattress between the 5 of them and hoping that Stevie's mom would send some cash soon so they could eat. They lived and breathed music and not because it made them money, but because it was their calling. It was art, and art is worth the risk. It's worth the sacrifice. Like I said before, I'm not opposed to music of today. I love some of the up and coming singers like James Bay, Matt Simons, and that Zayn song Pillowtalk is downright catchy.  I am so ready (and a little scared) to hear Beyonce's Lemonade in its entirety. But let's be real...Art paves the way for art. And without Liberace, Bowie, and Prince, there would be no Lady Gaga. One day we will see who Gaga is paving the way for, but it will only be a re-invention, a revamping of what has come before, which is completely expected and wonderful. We can celebrate the revision, but we should honor the foundation.

Lady Gaga's honored Bowie, and also wrote a nice tribute to Prince. She gets it.

3. We are all feeling something together.-My good friend profoundly shared this sentiment with me last week when I posed the question to her about why I cried over Prince, and she is spot on. In no way is Prince's death on par with 9/11 in terms of tragedy, nor would I compare it to other things I have grieved in my life. But the unity of sadness that stretches across our nation and even world in times like these is undeniable. We are all reminiscing, we are all singing in unison. The technology of our day is even participating. Google and Snapchat responded with Purple Rain filters and images. Weather channels changed their graphic colors from green rain to purple for the day. Prince's 2007 Super Bowl performance went viral...again. iTunes moved his music and movies to their front pages because of the onslaught of purchases. We united in grieving together. And while it would be nice if we could find a way to do this on the daily for refugees, the poor, and the persecuted in our world...this feels like a start. For a few hours, billions of people were having a political/agenda-free shared experience, connecting over music and memories. And honestly, I think that is something we all crave more than we can bring ourselves to admit.

As Prince said, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." I think the implication of these words are that we get through it, together.

Hurts So Good

I just watched the newly released trailer for The Fault In Our Stars.

You guys, I can't.

I'm already crying. And yet, on the day the movie comes out, I will go, probably first thing in the morning to see it. I know this movie is going to make me miserable. It's going to make me have lots of feelings about life and love and death, lots of hopes and regrets, lots of thoughts on injustice and overall questions of why these things happen. But I will be there, tissues in hand, ready to have red eyes the rest of the day.

One time someone told me that they hate watching sad movies because life is too hard as it is. I get that. But I tend to disagree. In fact, if anything, I think I use sad movies as an acceptable excuse for me to cry about real life. On the daily, it doesn't seem socially appropriate to cry about the things that really make me want to cry. But if I watch a sad movie, the tears can release, and I can just blame it on the movie. Anyone feeling me on this? Or am I the only one out there who willingly watches sad movies?

Oh well. Here's an abbreviated list (cause, let me tell you, I cry at a lot) of movies that are guaranteed to make me cry every time.

1. Beaches: I love how loud and self-involved and diva-like Bette Midler's character is through the entire movie. I love the realness of their friendship, complete with arguments and periods of silence. But the gem of the movie is at the end when she uses all of that attitude and gumption to get Barbara Hershey out of the hospital and to the beach, and that damn song plays, and I just lose it.

2. Fried Green Tomatoes: If you ever want to hear me audibly and uncontrollably sob, this is the movie to show me. The movie only works because it shows the depth of the friendship that Ruth and Idgie have. This is one of my pet peeves with Thelma and Louise...which I could get to in another blog. But the point is, that we see these two grow up together and go through some really hard stuff. So the care they have for each other is obvious and has been shown time and again throughout the story. There are a lot of tough moments, but at the end when Ruth is dying and she asks Idgie to tell her a story, GAH. I love Idgie's reluctance. She recognizes the heavy moment and knows she should probably say something important, but she can't deny her friend's request. She finishes her story and sees Ruth and the rest is a blur due to the fact that I'm always crying so hard at that point, I have no real idea what happens exactly at the end.

The original drunk kitchen.

3. Inception: This may seem like a weird choice for a crying movie. And maybe it's really a trick of the music, but even with the crazy (and what some would call confusing) plot, and the action packed snow scene that lasts a little too long, there is a sentimentality running through this movie that is genius. The entire goal is to have a man change his mind about something. With all the guns and chases, in the end when Robert opens the safe and sees the paper windmill, I lose it. Yes, it's all fabricated. I know, I know. But it just goes to show that the heart is what makes change. Even though that's my favorite moment, I also love Leo's speech to Mal at the end about why he has to let her go. It's so raw.

4. The Pursuit of Happyness: I love NOTHING more than a story about an underdog who gets what he deserves. I can't help it. I root for people who don't have the same advantages as others. And especially if they are willing to work to change their lives! Anyway, this story is painful on so many levels, but the payoff is fully there at the end when he gets the job. The look on Will Smith's face is one of the best acted moments in cinema history. I cry right along with him every time.

Also, this moment.

5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: I could never put a normal rom-com in this list. Sure, I have some that move me, but if I'm gonna pick a romance, it's not gonna be a conventional one. ESOTSM captures what it's like to go through a break up, what it's like to fall in love, and what it's like to want to forget someone. It's an enlightened movie that circles back on itself and somehow manages to fill me with hope and hopelessness all at the same time. The moment that makes me cry every time is when Jim Carrey's Joel is having his memories extracted, and there is one where he and Kate Winslet (Clementine) are in bed, and he says, "Please let me keep this memory. Just this one..."

Honorable Disney Mention: UP. The first ten minutes are torture.
Honorable Sports Mention: Any sports movie really. The scene is the same in all of them.
Honorable Traditional Rom/Com Mention: While You Were Sleeping. The end when she confesses.
Honorable Period Piece Mention: Sense and Sensibility. Emma Thompson is so composed the entire movie, then she loses it.

Do you like a good cry? What are your "go-to" movies that bring you to tears?

Freaks and Geeks: A Show Worthy of a Weekend Fat Revival

I can't promise that I'm bringing this blog back, but I need a place to discuss Freaks and Geeks.  After a whole lot of prodding harassment from a few friends and access to my cousin's Netflix account, I have finally completed what might be one of the best shows about High School ever made. It is not only captivating with characters and plot, it deals with so many of the agenda based issues that Glee attempted without being heavy-handed, AND it serves as the precursor to so many other shows that are on TV today. Here are some things/moments I loved from the show.

1. The characters are not beautiful. I mean, of course they are all pretty good looking, but they aren't shiny and happy. They are angsty and curvy with clothes that don't fit and asymmetrical faces. Even though they are actors, they make a great attempt at real people. They are flawed. GOSH are they flawed. Angry, obsessive, mean, confused, giving into peer-pressure, socially awkward, not self-aware, spoiled, and more. And yet, even with all of these various personality flaws, they are not caricatures.  I found myself rooting for each of them to rise above whatever kept them down. To study harder, speak up, calm down, soften up, try harder, practice more, because even though these characters are not beautiful people, they are like me and you. We can do hard things, and I found myself believing it for them too.

2. Lindsay's transformation/coming of age. It would have been really easy to make Lindsay's character the vehicle for all of the lessons that needed to be learned in the show. And while there are moments where she is forced to come face to face with the choices she is making, she never strays so far from herself that she can't remember who she really is. As much as she wants to be cool or fit in with the Freaks, she brings her own flavor to it, even if it pisses the other characters off or puts her at risk of being ousted.

We're all unhappy. That's the thing about life. That's the horrible thing about life.

3. Jason Segel is adorable. Whether you like it or not, Jason Segel is a TV actor. His movies may make a splash, but his ability to develop a character through the arc of a TV show is where his strength in acting is. He is doing himself a disservice when he does ridiculous movies. HIMYM and this show are proof that he can bring incredible depth to what writers probably wrote as a pretty basic trope.

4. The episode when Sam wants an Atari and Neal gets one. We find out (spoiler) that Neal's dad is having an affair. Sam sees him out with another woman and is appalled and confused. Neal's dad tries to cover it up by saying he wanted to keep it secret so he could buy Neal the Atari. Neal is thrilled of course when he gets the game console. But at the end of the episode Sam's dad buys him one too just for the heck of it. Sam and Lindsay's parents constantly want the attention of their kids, especially the dad. And the moment when Sam get the Atari, the way he hugs his father is beautiful. It's as if he has a full appreciation of the fact that his dad is a man of integrity, even if an annoying one at times. It's rare that children see their parents for who they are and are able to really commit their emotions to them. But that moment is a perfect and sweet example.

I heard Stevie Nicks is a witch. She casts spells on people. I heard she cast a love spell on Lindsay Buckingham!

5. The best unintentional series finale ever. (Obviously there are spoilers ahead) Somehow in these 45 minutes, the characters get to try on new lives. (Which is the entire basis of High School Musical and Glee) James Franco ends up playing Dungeons and Dragons with the Geeks. Jason Segel has disco fever. And even though we don't realize it until the very end, Lindsay finally really rebels. But she doesn't do it in a mean or spiteful way. Instead of attending the academic event she's destined for, she and Kim (Busy Philipps) get into a van and follow the Grateful Dead around for 2 weeks. It's a sweet merging of personalities and lives that happens without force. Just like in real life, once you graduate, you become more of who you really are. The stereotypes melt away, and you're free to try on who you always wanted to be. Lindsay's last words to her mom are spoken in an unforgettable way, but the joy on her face when she meets up with Kim is hopeful. It's a really strangely perfect ending.

I could go on. I know I'm late to this party, but if you're coming into your Summer without a ton to do, watch this show. You won't regret it. When I finished it on Wednesday night, I looked up the Grateful Dead's American Beauty album and closed my eyes while it played in the background. It seemed like the most appropriate thing to do considering there was no van available for me to jump into with my best friend.

What are your favorite moments of the show? Favorite characters? Tell me what you loved!

Freeway: 10 Exits For You To Consider Taking

If you'd asked me what I thought would be the thing that inspired me to blog on Weekend Fat again...I would have said one of these things:

John Mayer declares his new life of celibacy.
Leo and Kate finally profess their undying love for each other and live happily ever after.
Marcus Mumford proposes to me.

None of those things have happened...and yet here we are.

The other day on Hulu, they released a list of "Road Trippin" movies. Now when I think of movies with road trips I think of Forces of Nature, Thelma and Louise, Elizabethtown, Little Miss Sunshine, Almost Famous, and of course, Road Trip. But Hulu didn't mention those movies...instead the first one on the list was called: Freeway.

There will be blood.

Freeway stars Reese Witherspoon, Kiefer Sutherland, Brooke Shields, Brittany Murphy, Dan Hedaya, Michael T. Weiss, Amanda Plummer, and Guillermo Diaz (Huck from Scandal). Even if you think you don't know some of those names, I promise you have seen all of those people in something. Also, Oliver Stone was the Executive Producer.

The movie came out in 1996 and the basic plot summary is as follows: Troubled teen girl from troubling home gets in trouble. A more extensive plot summary would tell you that this teen girl meets up with a serial killer on her way to her grand mother's house...the movie describes itself as a "Modern Day Little Red Riding Hood." Indeed. Reese does wear a lot of red in the movie.

I sat down yesterday with some hours in front of me to watch TV and thought, sounds promising. Good actors, decent movie decade, action/redemption story...sure...why not...

 HERE IS WHY NOT.

1. Whatever image you have of Reese Witherspoon in your head will be destroyed forever. The language that comes out of her mouth in this movie was shocking. SHOCKING I SAY! The F word the N word the C word the P word the X word...oh you didn't know there was an X word....WELL THERE IS. If Reese was anything like this when she was pulled over in Atlanta, it's surprising that she's not behind bars. Gone is the Southern Belle that fills your favorite RomCom roles...enter this monster who overacts EVERY SINGLE WORD and does so in a way that makes you cringe. It's truly horrifying to watch.

2. While it might not change your view of Kiefer, given that he does play a scumbag rather well, he is especially repulsive in this movie.

3. Sexual content. Look...you know I don't get upset about these kinds of things usually...and the movie itself doesn't have a lot of sex in it, but the way sexual acts are talked about in the movie made me extremely uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it's the heinous things that Reese's character has to go through, or the way everyone in the movie seems to be overacting therefore bring some kind of unintended comedy to what should be a very serious topic...but something about the way these things get addressed just made me feel dirty.

I know, it just seems wrong.

4. Brooke Shields. There is exactly 1 movie role that Brooke Shields is qualified for...Blue Lagoon. Which was 33 years ago (yeah, I said it 33). In Freeway, her role as supportive wife to Kiefer, her serial killer husband, is less than believable, and quite honestly, when she blows her brains out at the end, it's a relief.

5. Brains blown all over the wall. I already mentioned language and sex, but this movie has some violence that kind of pushes the envelope for me too. And sometimes the blood just comes out of no where! Like there's a slap, and then a ton of blood and then a gunshot. Which brings me to...

6. Horrible editing. I can't say I normally notice things like this. I am a content kind of girl. I look at the plot and characters before I look at the way a movie is assembled. But there are just so many obvious, glaring holes in this one. At times the continuity is so bad that it's almost like the characters have teleported, moved without walking, due to poorly pieced together takes.

7. Brittany Murphy. Look, I am a huge Brittany Murphy fan. While her acting career was short, I think she really nailed some great roles. What troubles me about this movie is that it was after her breakout part in Clueless. I think her agent must have said, "hey, it's got Reese in it!" and based on her recent Alicia Silverstone success, she jumped on it. Only...she shouldn't have. She plays a huffing-addicted lesbian who comes on to Reese during her brief stay in the juvenile prison. Only, I think Reese's contract must have had a "no lesbian make out" clause in it, which is a little interesting given the amount of racial slurs she blurts out in the movie. But it was the 90's...where some things were still more acceptable than others. ANYWAY...Brittany ends up making out with Reese's neck, which is horribly awkward. The only thing I can think is that this little role opened up the door for her much more substantial visit to crazy town in Girl, Interrupted. God bless the broken road...

8. A lot of guns get pointed at a lot of heads in Freeway. Which is possibly a metaphor/over-the-top symbol for someone holding a gun to the heads of these actors, producers, and even Danny Elfman (music man), threatening them to make this movie or else. I've heard George Clooney talk about making Oceans 11, 12, and 13, so he could make Syriana. Maybe this was like that...these actors all had things they wanted to do, but their contracts required this first. Or maybe there was an actual gun to their heads. My guess is that the holder of the gun was Mary Vernieu. She's the casting director of the movie. And her credits are beyond amazing. Most recently she's responsible for the casting of Silver Linings Playbook, Black Swan, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Looper. Did she call in some favors? What does she have on these people?

9. If you've read this blog before, you know that I am a Christian. I even went to seminary. In one of my classes, we were taught how to convert people. How to approach people with the message of the Gospel. I find that class extremely ridiculous now, but one of the methods they taught as a "last ditch effort" was basically saying to someone, "look, what do you have to lose? believe in Jesus and when this life is over if it's all true, you go to heaven...if it's not true...then what does it matter.?" Solid faith right there. ANYWAY. The only method that could possibly be less effective is the one where Reese is holding a gun to Kiefer's head and asks him if he accepts Jesus as his Lord and Savior. There's just so much wrong with this scene already. It's random and dirty, and then it tops off with this gem. I can't...even....

I mean, what have you got to lose?

10. I can think of approximately 8452 things you can do instead of watching this movie. Right off the top of my head. I won't list them all here, but just spit balling how about: sleeping, watching the random episode of 666 Park Avenue that showed up on my Hulu Queue this weekend, cleaning out your closet, driving to the nearest state line just for the hell of it, mending the hole in those pants on your dresser, and going for a run...in the 100 degree weather...through swarms of killer bees.

If I haven't convinced you, then you're probably like me. Your interest has been piqued and you cannot be swayed. It's free. It's on Hulu. And it sounds too...something...to be true. Here's the number 1 and possibly only reason you SHOULD watch....

So I am no longer alone in this.

Who is the wolf in this scenario?

Whoops...Another Month Went By....

It's been over a month since I last blogged on Weekend Fat. Weekend Fat has become something like a plant to me. I know it's there, and I see it, and I like it. I like how it adds to the environment and how it lifts my mood. And on my way out the door, I think...I need to water that. But I'm on my way out the door. And it's just a plant, it's resourceful, it will find a way. Except that then a month goes by and I realize the soil is all cracked, the leaves have turned yellow, and I can pour all the water I want on it, but it's probably not coming back. So I don't pour water on it. I sit in my chair and keep watching TV or keep going out to eat with friends, or reading at Starbucks, because ultimately those things bring me more joy now than the plant once did.

Weekend Fat was great for me during my stay in China. It gave me something to do daily in a place where I had NOTHING to do. It kept me connected and kept me writing and meeting "deadlines." But life is happening now, and it's a good life. And even though I think about Weekend Fat daily, multiple times even...when I sit down to write, I'm overwhelmed. There's just too much to tackle!

Do I talk about Bates' Motel and how prequels are some of the only territory left to explore on TV. (I bet even Walking Dead will do a season or begin flashbacks soon as to how the zombies came to be.)  Or maybe I talk about the fact that the "Strangers on a Train" storyline has shown up on every crime drama on TV in the last month! Do I discuss just how adorable Adam Levine is and confess that I can't stop looking at those pics of him online...you know the ones. Or do I tell you to NEVER WASTE YOUR TIME on the movie LAWLESS even though it has some of the best actors ever in it. Or maybe I could just start a countdown to the Great Gatsby release.

But it's TOM HARDY and JESSICA CHASTAIN!

See!!! Too much. And you know what makes it worse? I feel defeated. I have a thought about what to write, and I fail to act on it in that very moment, and I swear to you, within 12 hours, my FB newsfeed is full of Jezebel, AWL, Huffington Post articles discussing THE VERY THOUGHTS I JUST HAD. But by the time I get to writing them, they've been written. I don't want to be redundant.

What I won't say is that I'm busy. Anyone who knows me and has ever allowed me to lecture them (thanks friends) knows that I cannot stand the words Busy and Tired. Those are excuses. Busy is something we create to make ourselves feel important and to put people off. So I will not tell you I am too busy for Weekend Fat. I am not. At All. I could find lots of hours in my week to keep the blog going...but the truth is that it's no longer a priority for me. That's the real truth of busy-ness people. It's a prioritizing thing. We make time for what we want to make time for. And the honest to god truth of it is that, I just don't want to make time for this at the moment. Now, call me and let's TALK about Lawless (or let's don't) and we can enjoy a wonderful conversation. If China taught me one thing, it's that actual access to actual people is better than any "audience." Social networks and the internet have their role, they just tend to take a backseat to face to face connection for me at the moment.

I will lecture you about the problem with "Tired" some other day.

So unless something brilliant or bothersome pushes me into blogging again, I gotta say for now, I'm just not that into it. Of course it's still getting hits and some attention. As of this post the blog has had almost 100,000 individual viewers. That's in less than a year. The posts between myself and my friend Julie about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie remain the most popular posts (meaning people are Googling about them all the time) though Anne Hathaway is in 3rd place with her recent "popularity/infamy." The most shared post was about Magic Mike. The most widely read posts mention The Walking Dead.

Thanks for your support and attention to Weekend Fat over this last year. We will just have to wait and see where it leads in time....

Amber

P.S. In case you were wondering, Melancholia is still haunting me.

Why YOU Deserve to be at The Oscars

I'm delusional. I'm also a narcissist. These two traits often lead me to thoughts that go something like this:
"I can eat that entire pizza with no consequences. I mean I'm really not that overweight."
"If I were on Gray's Anatomy, Dr. Avery would  be into me."

"I could totally do a cartwheel right now."

You can see how things get out of hand quickly. But last night as I watched the Oscars, I couldn't help but think...I could totally be there. And not just me, YOU too. We...should be at the Oscars. Here are a few reasons:

I've always depended on the kindness of celebrities.

1. You could give a better acceptance speech.
If you're a fan like me, you've seen the best and the worst of the speeches over the years. The memorable, and the ridiculous. Sally Field, Marlon Brando, Adrien Brody, Roberto Benigni, and Jack Palance are all key players in your mind when it comes to the fiasco that is the Oscar acceptance speech. These actors, after having a least a month to come to terms with the fact that they might have to formulate some words of thanks for winning such a prestigious award, somehow fail to deliver 90% of the time. We all know the drill. Begin with an emphatic statement and/or quote from the movie you were in. Thank the Academy, acknowledge your fellow nominees, thank the cast and crew, give an endearing remark about your family that reminds us you're a real person, and thank God if applicable to your religious leanings. End with an emphatic quote if you didn't open with one, if you did, then end with a nice pleasantry, a sincere smile, and an audience embracing hand gesture. Do not mention the music that's "gonna start playing any minute," it wastes precious time and we all know you're under the gun. Don't linger on any one of your other nominees, it seems trite and patronizing. Don't leave out your significant other (looking at you Swank). And don't mention Canada and what hard work it is to be married to Jennifer Garner! Come on Affleck...sounds like Celebrity Problems to me.

I love his beard, and I don't mean Jennifer Garner.

2. You know what to wear (and what not to!)
Marilyn Monroe once said, "Hollywood is the only place where you can die from encouragement." When you're a celebrity, people blow smoke up your ass. No one wants to be the person to tell Christina Hendricks to cover up her boobs or Angelina to tuck her leg back in. These actors and actresses don't have a friend in the world. Because, my friends tell me. "Leave your hair long. Don't go blonde again. Lay off the pizza." Their lack of affirmation communicates a lack of acceptance, and I pay attention to both their criticisms and their silence. Not because I think they are mean, but because I know they care. This has led me to a place where I wear clothes that generally compliment me. I know what colors wash me out. I know what I can't pull off. Because I'm a real person. As lovely as my friends are to me, they have no reason to lie. My self-awareness combined with my friends, punctuated by mother's sideways glance over her glasses asking, "You're gonna wear that?" are usually enough to steer me in the right direction. It must be lonely at the top...and there are obviously no mirrors up there either.

I want to laugh at their jokes!

3. You're ready for the "cut to" shot.
If only we could live our lives on multiple cameras. I watched House of Cards last night, and I would love a world where I could turn to the camera and give my aside, enriching my actions and environment. Award shows are known for their sudden "cut to" shots of celebrities that are being roasted at any given moment. Some of these people handle the moment with style and grace, but most of them look like a deer in the headlights. I think it's safe to say that you and I would be ready for the "cut to" shots. The pose, a stoic mouth turned slightly upward and smiling eyes that could read anything from "I'm gonna kill that bitch for saying that" to "How cute that I made it into the jokes." Bonus points for turning to the person sitting next to you and whispering your own joke in front of the camera. Make the people at home wonder what on earth you said to evoke THAT laugh from Julianne Moore!

Still standing...and hosting.

4. Elton John's Oscar party has NOTHING on yours.
My dream is to one day host an Oscar party that people will talk about for years to come! Maybe you already do that. Maybe your Pinterest is full of the kinds of ideas that turn a Shindig into a Brouhaha! With obscure Oscar trivia, movie posters of all the best pictures from the last 85 years and, a soundtrack straight from the stage, you can't go wrong. Add a red carpet to your front yard, and hire a local blogger, and you're good to go. Hosting this level of party should put you on the map to attend, if not co-host with Reginald Kenneth Dwight. (If you don't know who that is, you are not invited.)

Best moment of the night.

5. You're sitting where they once were.
Everyone loves a rags to riches story. Sure you might be a 34 year old, sitting on the stationary bike in the house where you grew up watching the Oscars with your mom while she plays solitaire on the iPad that you bought with severance money a few years ago...or not, just saying...you might be...but the truth is that most of the people walking across the stage were once where you are at this moment.  Maybe minus a few of those details. The Oscars inspire us and show us in the most dramatic fashion, that dreams can come true.

10 Reasons Parenthood Should Be Renewed

So the latest statement from NBC on Parenthood's renewal is something like, "We'll just wait and see how it goes." This is incredibly frustrating for those of us who are fans of the show. NBC is notorious for making horrible decisions with TV (which is kind of what 30 Rock was really all about), but to me, they have a good thing going with Parenthood. Sure, the ratings aren't as big as they hope, but unless they have a Walking Dead up their sleeve or plan on bringing Matthew from Downton Abbey back from the dead in a spin-off (Romelle, I'm looking at you for a title), they should be content with the consistent viewership of the show. Word of advice to those of you who are wanting to bring it back, don't watch ANY OF THE NEW NBC SHOWS. If any of them rank higher than Parenthood, it could get the axe. So just don't do it. Move over to Fox or Bravo or even ABC, but don't give NBC a reason.

Here are 10 reasons NBC should bring Parenthood back:

Real men...massage...each...other?

1. Male Role Models-For years we have watched as helpless fathers on sit-coms plant themselves in front of the TV and declare ignorance at anything to do with housework, kids, or romance. They spout off their one-liners and everyone laughs, but we all know that the women are running the show. I happen to believe art imitates real life, but after so many decades of viewing this kind of interaction, it's hard to know what came first...the chicken or the egg. Adam, Joel, Zeke, and even Crosby are not the fathers of the 80's and 90's. They love their wives, work hard, are invested in the lives of their children, and are not afraid to show passion even if it brings tears. They are far from perfect, but they try, listen, and are active participants in their families rather than background comedic relief. More of this please.

Save the drama for your...oh wait...you are the mama.

2. Sarah's Redemption-Sarah is no Lorelai, that's for sure. Still you can't help but love her. At first it just seemed like she'd been dealt a raw deal. Divorced mom of 2 teens moving in with her parents to get her life together. But now we know that Sarah is one of "those people." You know the kind. There are 2 types of drama. The drama that just happens in life, and the kind we create for ourselves. Sarah creates her own drama. Dave Ramsey, financial guru, has a theory that if you have $1000 in savings, that things that would otherwise be emergencies (doctors visits, broken down cars, stopped up toilets, etc.) are not emergencies. Without that money in savings, you create more debt or cause a crisis in other areas of life (no grocery money, gas money, late bills, etc.) This is how I feel about Sarah emotionally. She has no healthy emotional reserve to dip from, and so she just spins from crisis to crisis making bad choices that lead to more bad choices. With the ridiculousness of her choosing Hank over Mark, she is wide open to really get her life in order this next season. It's a clean slate, and we want to see her make the most of it. There are no gay characters on Parenthood yet, and in staying true to her wandering spirit, I wouldn't be surprised if Sarah's next relationship is with a woman.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

3. Amber's Happiness -So, even though Sarah is a screw up, her daughter Amber has really come into her own lately. She's independent, smart, and savvy. Even though she was so in love with Ryan, she chose not to be caught up in his drama and was willing to part with him until he figured his shit out. Now that he's pushed past some of that, it's time for us to see her happy with him. I'd love for the next season to end with Ryan and Amber's wedding. I would ALSO like to see Amber pursue a degree in Child Development/Psychology. Her talent working with Max should not be a dropped storyline, but come back into play on a larger scale. Just because she didn't get into Berkeley doesn't mean SFSU wouldn't take her!

Wisdom lies here.

4. Camille Braverman, The Matriarch-Bonnie Bedelia brings grace and strength to every character she's ever played. Camille Braverman is no exception. She is a free spirit, but responsible, nurturing, but not controlling, and encouraging, but has high standards of behavior. This season with Kristina's breast cancer, we got to see the relationship between these two up close. At times it was awkward and hard not to feel bad for both of them as they sorted out the push and pull of helping, not wanting help, needing help, and finally receiving help. Camille, who is often the character with the least dialogue, communicated efficiently and emotionally and finally pierced through Kristina's outer shell to let her know that she is loved. I'd love to see more of these moments, and learn more about Camille. Just don't kill her off. I do worry that a death is coming if Parenthood stays on the air. You can only dance with cancer, car wrecks, and construction sites for so long.

5. Promoting Family-I am a single woman in my 30's with no kids. While I am pretty content in this life, watching the Braverman clan celebrate, mourn, and do life together is enough to make me want to start popping out kids right now. Lots of them! There are many shows that center around family, but few of them do it as well as this one. It never looks easy, but it always looks worth it. Isn't that how most of the best things in life flesh out? I also love that this is a liberal family who lives in Berkeley (a.k.a. Satan's lair), and still manages uphold a strong sense of family (Wait, I thought liberals were trying to destroy the family...). Even if they make decisions that you and your family wouldn't, at least they talk about their issues and deal with them. There is no perpetuation of pretend perfection happening here, which is what I find to be the thing that tears most families apart...no matter what side of the political spectrum they land on or where they live. All of this is really not what's important. What is important is that Parenthood has made family cool again. So many dramas focus on the work place or groups of friends, (or if you're Dallas, you focus on the horror of being related to horrible people) but Parenthood promotes family, even if it looks different than yours.

Victor's adoption process was one of my very favorite story lines.

6. Models of Parenting-I love that the show gives us not 1, not 2, but 5 different examples of how people parent. Add in the in-laws (like Jasmine's mother) and that number increases. When I worked in a job where people came to me to discuss things like parenting, I would often walk to my bookshelf and point to the books on raising kids. I usually pointed out a few of my favorites, but in the end, I pointed out that there are hundreds. If there were only one way to parent, there would be only one book on how to do it. But with changing economy, social pressures, and technology, to name a few, parents must take new aspects of life into consideration as they make decisions for their kids. I like that Parenthood showcases these different styles. Sarah wants to be friends with her kids. Jasmine and Crosby like to take time to explain things to Jabbar. Joel and Julia often end up in good cop/bad cop situations. Adam and Kristina choose their battles (and very few of them) with Max who has Asperger's. And then there's Zeke and Camille, who are kind of perfect when it comes to parenting their adult children. What I love is that the writers of the show aren't afraid to let these families bloom through the situations they've put them in, which allows for what seem like very real life consequences of spoiled brats, emotionally withdrawn teenagers, back talking, and at times, all hell breaking loose.

7. Realistic Siblings-If you are an only child, you may wanna skip this section. It might make you slightly depressed. I have a younger brother, Austin. Someone once told me that when I talk about him, I have a special tone of admiration in my voice reserved for just him. I adore him. But as I have watched him become a man, and he has watched me become a woman, the nature of our relationship has changed. Where we once centered all of our conversations around movies and television, playing pop-culture games, our relationship has matured with us. We have begun to formulate opinions about each others lives and actions. Some things that he does puzzle me, I am sure he feels the same way about my decisions. Yet, there is NO ONE on the PLANET that is more like me than he is. From the blood running through our veins to our mannerisms, no one can deny we are siblings, and our basic responses to most things are similar if not at times, identical. There is such a great comfort in this for me. Maybe the most fascinating thing that Parenthood has done is actually being able to create this kind of interaction between four unrelated actors. Zeke and Camille "birthed" these children who share different parts of their hippie spirit and ambition. Julia and Adam got the drive to succeed, Crosby and Sarah are the creative free spirits. Yet, when the four of them talk, they NAIL the dialogue and mannerisms of siblings. Their interaction is seamless. And aside from the way they interact (the best scenes are always the ones just between the 4 of them), their relationships are believable. Even though Adam and Sarah are different in most ways, he still goes to her for things because they are closer in age, not wanting to show Julia that he's less than perfect. Crosby adores and respects Adam, but needs and resents him at times. Julia and Sarah have very little in common personality wise, yet Sarah is so proud of Julia and all she's accomplished. These relationships are brilliantly written and acted, and hopefully they make people think about the treasure of having siblings. (Just for fun, did you know that Sarah and Adam date in real life?)

Amber's face is pretty much what I look like while listening to the music on Parenthood.

8.Music-As if Bob Dylan's Forever Young played through the opening of this show each week isn't enough to make you happy, the show is FULL of great music. Andrew Bird, The Avett Brothers, Neko Case, Leonard Cohen, Jack White, Fleetwood Mac, Iron and Wine, Missy Higgins...need I go on? All of these great artists and a ton more have had their songs showcased throughout episodes. In fact, you  might not realize it but each episode of Parenthood averages 5 songs. It used to be that Grey's Anatomy was the go-to show for up and coming artists and for us to find good music. They may have set the trend, but Parenthood has taken it and run with it. Hardly an episode goes by when I don't Shazam a song to see what it is. (Which brings me to this gem of a website: www.tunefinder.com They have EVERY song in EVERY episode of EVERY show you could possibly want to know about. Brilliant.) The thing I enjoy about the music of Parenthood is that it's not just new stuff, it's old stuff too, representative of the generations in the show. Aside from the music in the show, the show has a storyline revolving around music with the Luncheonette. I'd love to see them get to a place where they are bringing in more artists to perform. Bon Iver was on last season!

9. Perfect Dialogue-As a wannabe writer, I pay a lot of attention to language and how we communicate. I picked up pretty early on that Shonda Rhimes has a monologue in almost every episode of her shows where a character begins a speech with "You don't get to...." It didn't take me long to recognize the repetition and parallelism in the way she writes. Sit-coms have it easy because the goal is to deliver a joke, but trying to create natural conversation between characters while conveying the years of emotions built up from being related and have it hold up for 48 minutes each week and move the plot forward is difficult. But the writers of Parenthood are brilliant, and accompanied by actors who have really taken to their style. These "family" members talk over each other and like each other in a way that I've never seen on TV before. No character is exempt from these traits. There is so much truth to the fact that we begin to talk and develop similar mannerisms as the people we spend time around, and Parenthood impresses me each and every week with the interactions between characters.

"..and dear God, let me keep my job so I can buy a cute baby sloth for my beautiful wife."

10. What's Your Other Option?-Listen up NBC...if you cancel Parenthood, what are you going to replace it with? Another crime drama? Another medical show? Another sit-com that you keep threatening to cancel? Or maybe, God forbid, another "reality" show. The worst thing about NBC, is that they don't recognize a good thing when they have it. From Ann Curry to Dan Harmon, to any sit-com that never got past the first three episodes because it didn't bring in millions of viewers, NBC execs have their fingers on the trigger making watching TV there almost like eating at a buffet. From week to week they may not have the prime rib or pot roast that you love, but at least they have fried chicken, and by that I mean, SNL, so you keep coming back. Tina Fey isn't set to write TV again for a few years, and so I doubt there's anything that NBC could offer in the place of Parenthood that would cause me to watch. Come on NBC...make us proud....

Here's hoping Parenthood gets renewed!

What reasons do you have for wanting to see it come back?

So You Finished Season 3 of Downton Abbey...

First of all...welcome. I've been expecting you. Having sat quietly on that horrific ending of Season 3 for the last 2 months, I can honestly say that it's been tough watching your Facebook posts of celebration over marriages, babies, Bates' freedom, and Thomas not being a complete asshat. But alas, the celebration is over.

Matthew is dead.

Wait, I think I saw him breathe!

I've seen lots of anger at Julian Fellowes on Facebook and received quite a few texts regarding this most recent plot twist turn dead end. And it is in fact, tragic and maybe a bit reactionary. But my questions are not for Fellowes, they're for Dan Stevens.

What kind of guiding principles do you have that lead you away from THE most watched show in PBC history? Stevens insists he has other things coming down the pipe, some stage shows in New York, some writing opportunities, maybe a movie or two. He swears that he didn't want to be just the next big TV star. But my gut says he just put a nail in the coffin of his short-lived stardom.

The NICEST thing Fellowes could have done for him was to kill him off, because it keeps us sympathetic for him. Had Matthew left Mary, we would HATE him. Plot-wise it had to happen that way. Mary has a son, Matthew is practically Judas...serving his poetic purpose in a much larger story.

Ok, let's do this, I have to make a stop by Downton Abbey for what is basically becoming a British Horror Story.

Stevens' decision to leave goes directly against something I recently read from Tina Fey that I have adopted into my own guiding philosophy. Fey says:

The fun is always on the other side of a yes. Say yes, and you'll figure it out afterward. This has helped me to be more adventurous. It has definitely helped me be less afraid.

"We're offering you a job here at 'Saturday Night Live' -- can you move here within a week?"

"Ummm, yes I can."

"You know, you haven't been here that long, but do you want to move up and try to be one of the head writers?"

Feeling completely terrified inside, but saying, "Uhhh, yes, okay, yes, for sure."

"Do you wanna do 'Weekend Update' with Jimmy?"

Petrified. "Yes, thank you, of course!"

There are limits of reason to this idea of saying yes to everything, but when I meet someone whose first instinct is "No, how can we do that? That doesn't seem possible," I'm always kind of taken aback. Almost anyone would say, "It's Friday at two in the morning. We don't have an opening political sketch. We can't do it." Yeah, of course you can. There's no choice. And even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward. 

I remember observing the tendency people have to say "no" first when I was on staff at a church. No matter what was thrown out as a new idea, the fact it was new meant that there was built-in resistance. I was disgusted that our members and staff were investing themselves by thinking about the church and trying to make it better, only to be shut down around every corner. Fey's advice and experience resonates with me on a very personal level. Saying "no" guarantees one thing...that nothing changes. You stay as poor, as rich, as successful, as stuck, as happy, and as depressed as you are at that moment. A yes, guarantees movement every time.

Does this look like the face of the next big superstar?

Steven's might get by for a few more years on his floppy blonde hair and his sultry eyes, but I find it hard to believe that he will ever compete with the likes of Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling  on the big screen. I understand the concept of "leave 'em wanting more" but I also understand the concept of job security and being the most adored character on a super popular TV show. Ok...I don't understand that last part at all, but man...if I did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say no.

How long can Downton go on like this? Who will leave next? Why is this happening!? IS THIS REAL LIFE!!!???