Why YOU Deserve to be at The Oscars

I'm delusional. I'm also a narcissist. These two traits often lead me to thoughts that go something like this:
"I can eat that entire pizza with no consequences. I mean I'm really not that overweight."
"If I were on Gray's Anatomy, Dr. Avery would  be into me."

"I could totally do a cartwheel right now."

You can see how things get out of hand quickly. But last night as I watched the Oscars, I couldn't help but think...I could totally be there. And not just me, YOU too. We...should be at the Oscars. Here are a few reasons:

I've always depended on the kindness of celebrities.

1. You could give a better acceptance speech.
If you're a fan like me, you've seen the best and the worst of the speeches over the years. The memorable, and the ridiculous. Sally Field, Marlon Brando, Adrien Brody, Roberto Benigni, and Jack Palance are all key players in your mind when it comes to the fiasco that is the Oscar acceptance speech. These actors, after having a least a month to come to terms with the fact that they might have to formulate some words of thanks for winning such a prestigious award, somehow fail to deliver 90% of the time. We all know the drill. Begin with an emphatic statement and/or quote from the movie you were in. Thank the Academy, acknowledge your fellow nominees, thank the cast and crew, give an endearing remark about your family that reminds us you're a real person, and thank God if applicable to your religious leanings. End with an emphatic quote if you didn't open with one, if you did, then end with a nice pleasantry, a sincere smile, and an audience embracing hand gesture. Do not mention the music that's "gonna start playing any minute," it wastes precious time and we all know you're under the gun. Don't linger on any one of your other nominees, it seems trite and patronizing. Don't leave out your significant other (looking at you Swank). And don't mention Canada and what hard work it is to be married to Jennifer Garner! Come on Affleck...sounds like Celebrity Problems to me.

I love his beard, and I don't mean Jennifer Garner.

2. You know what to wear (and what not to!)
Marilyn Monroe once said, "Hollywood is the only place where you can die from encouragement." When you're a celebrity, people blow smoke up your ass. No one wants to be the person to tell Christina Hendricks to cover up her boobs or Angelina to tuck her leg back in. These actors and actresses don't have a friend in the world. Because, my friends tell me. "Leave your hair long. Don't go blonde again. Lay off the pizza." Their lack of affirmation communicates a lack of acceptance, and I pay attention to both their criticisms and their silence. Not because I think they are mean, but because I know they care. This has led me to a place where I wear clothes that generally compliment me. I know what colors wash me out. I know what I can't pull off. Because I'm a real person. As lovely as my friends are to me, they have no reason to lie. My self-awareness combined with my friends, punctuated by mother's sideways glance over her glasses asking, "You're gonna wear that?" are usually enough to steer me in the right direction. It must be lonely at the top...and there are obviously no mirrors up there either.

I want to laugh at their jokes!

3. You're ready for the "cut to" shot.
If only we could live our lives on multiple cameras. I watched House of Cards last night, and I would love a world where I could turn to the camera and give my aside, enriching my actions and environment. Award shows are known for their sudden "cut to" shots of celebrities that are being roasted at any given moment. Some of these people handle the moment with style and grace, but most of them look like a deer in the headlights. I think it's safe to say that you and I would be ready for the "cut to" shots. The pose, a stoic mouth turned slightly upward and smiling eyes that could read anything from "I'm gonna kill that bitch for saying that" to "How cute that I made it into the jokes." Bonus points for turning to the person sitting next to you and whispering your own joke in front of the camera. Make the people at home wonder what on earth you said to evoke THAT laugh from Julianne Moore!

Still standing...and hosting.

4. Elton John's Oscar party has NOTHING on yours.
My dream is to one day host an Oscar party that people will talk about for years to come! Maybe you already do that. Maybe your Pinterest is full of the kinds of ideas that turn a Shindig into a Brouhaha! With obscure Oscar trivia, movie posters of all the best pictures from the last 85 years and, a soundtrack straight from the stage, you can't go wrong. Add a red carpet to your front yard, and hire a local blogger, and you're good to go. Hosting this level of party should put you on the map to attend, if not co-host with Reginald Kenneth Dwight. (If you don't know who that is, you are not invited.)

Best moment of the night.

5. You're sitting where they once were.
Everyone loves a rags to riches story. Sure you might be a 34 year old, sitting on the stationary bike in the house where you grew up watching the Oscars with your mom while she plays solitaire on the iPad that you bought with severance money a few years ago...or not, just saying...you might be...but the truth is that most of the people walking across the stage were once where you are at this moment.  Maybe minus a few of those details. The Oscars inspire us and show us in the most dramatic fashion, that dreams can come true.

10 Reasons Parenthood Should Be Renewed

So the latest statement from NBC on Parenthood's renewal is something like, "We'll just wait and see how it goes." This is incredibly frustrating for those of us who are fans of the show. NBC is notorious for making horrible decisions with TV (which is kind of what 30 Rock was really all about), but to me, they have a good thing going with Parenthood. Sure, the ratings aren't as big as they hope, but unless they have a Walking Dead up their sleeve or plan on bringing Matthew from Downton Abbey back from the dead in a spin-off (Romelle, I'm looking at you for a title), they should be content with the consistent viewership of the show. Word of advice to those of you who are wanting to bring it back, don't watch ANY OF THE NEW NBC SHOWS. If any of them rank higher than Parenthood, it could get the axe. So just don't do it. Move over to Fox or Bravo or even ABC, but don't give NBC a reason.

Here are 10 reasons NBC should bring Parenthood back:

Real men...massage...each...other?

1. Male Role Models-For years we have watched as helpless fathers on sit-coms plant themselves in front of the TV and declare ignorance at anything to do with housework, kids, or romance. They spout off their one-liners and everyone laughs, but we all know that the women are running the show. I happen to believe art imitates real life, but after so many decades of viewing this kind of interaction, it's hard to know what came first...the chicken or the egg. Adam, Joel, Zeke, and even Crosby are not the fathers of the 80's and 90's. They love their wives, work hard, are invested in the lives of their children, and are not afraid to show passion even if it brings tears. They are far from perfect, but they try, listen, and are active participants in their families rather than background comedic relief. More of this please.

Save the drama for your...oh wait...you are the mama.

2. Sarah's Redemption-Sarah is no Lorelai, that's for sure. Still you can't help but love her. At first it just seemed like she'd been dealt a raw deal. Divorced mom of 2 teens moving in with her parents to get her life together. But now we know that Sarah is one of "those people." You know the kind. There are 2 types of drama. The drama that just happens in life, and the kind we create for ourselves. Sarah creates her own drama. Dave Ramsey, financial guru, has a theory that if you have $1000 in savings, that things that would otherwise be emergencies (doctors visits, broken down cars, stopped up toilets, etc.) are not emergencies. Without that money in savings, you create more debt or cause a crisis in other areas of life (no grocery money, gas money, late bills, etc.) This is how I feel about Sarah emotionally. She has no healthy emotional reserve to dip from, and so she just spins from crisis to crisis making bad choices that lead to more bad choices. With the ridiculousness of her choosing Hank over Mark, she is wide open to really get her life in order this next season. It's a clean slate, and we want to see her make the most of it. There are no gay characters on Parenthood yet, and in staying true to her wandering spirit, I wouldn't be surprised if Sarah's next relationship is with a woman.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

3. Amber's Happiness -So, even though Sarah is a screw up, her daughter Amber has really come into her own lately. She's independent, smart, and savvy. Even though she was so in love with Ryan, she chose not to be caught up in his drama and was willing to part with him until he figured his shit out. Now that he's pushed past some of that, it's time for us to see her happy with him. I'd love for the next season to end with Ryan and Amber's wedding. I would ALSO like to see Amber pursue a degree in Child Development/Psychology. Her talent working with Max should not be a dropped storyline, but come back into play on a larger scale. Just because she didn't get into Berkeley doesn't mean SFSU wouldn't take her!

Wisdom lies here.

4. Camille Braverman, The Matriarch-Bonnie Bedelia brings grace and strength to every character she's ever played. Camille Braverman is no exception. She is a free spirit, but responsible, nurturing, but not controlling, and encouraging, but has high standards of behavior. This season with Kristina's breast cancer, we got to see the relationship between these two up close. At times it was awkward and hard not to feel bad for both of them as they sorted out the push and pull of helping, not wanting help, needing help, and finally receiving help. Camille, who is often the character with the least dialogue, communicated efficiently and emotionally and finally pierced through Kristina's outer shell to let her know that she is loved. I'd love to see more of these moments, and learn more about Camille. Just don't kill her off. I do worry that a death is coming if Parenthood stays on the air. You can only dance with cancer, car wrecks, and construction sites for so long.

5. Promoting Family-I am a single woman in my 30's with no kids. While I am pretty content in this life, watching the Braverman clan celebrate, mourn, and do life together is enough to make me want to start popping out kids right now. Lots of them! There are many shows that center around family, but few of them do it as well as this one. It never looks easy, but it always looks worth it. Isn't that how most of the best things in life flesh out? I also love that this is a liberal family who lives in Berkeley (a.k.a. Satan's lair), and still manages uphold a strong sense of family (Wait, I thought liberals were trying to destroy the family...). Even if they make decisions that you and your family wouldn't, at least they talk about their issues and deal with them. There is no perpetuation of pretend perfection happening here, which is what I find to be the thing that tears most families apart...no matter what side of the political spectrum they land on or where they live. All of this is really not what's important. What is important is that Parenthood has made family cool again. So many dramas focus on the work place or groups of friends, (or if you're Dallas, you focus on the horror of being related to horrible people) but Parenthood promotes family, even if it looks different than yours.

Victor's adoption process was one of my very favorite story lines.

6. Models of Parenting-I love that the show gives us not 1, not 2, but 5 different examples of how people parent. Add in the in-laws (like Jasmine's mother) and that number increases. When I worked in a job where people came to me to discuss things like parenting, I would often walk to my bookshelf and point to the books on raising kids. I usually pointed out a few of my favorites, but in the end, I pointed out that there are hundreds. If there were only one way to parent, there would be only one book on how to do it. But with changing economy, social pressures, and technology, to name a few, parents must take new aspects of life into consideration as they make decisions for their kids. I like that Parenthood showcases these different styles. Sarah wants to be friends with her kids. Jasmine and Crosby like to take time to explain things to Jabbar. Joel and Julia often end up in good cop/bad cop situations. Adam and Kristina choose their battles (and very few of them) with Max who has Asperger's. And then there's Zeke and Camille, who are kind of perfect when it comes to parenting their adult children. What I love is that the writers of the show aren't afraid to let these families bloom through the situations they've put them in, which allows for what seem like very real life consequences of spoiled brats, emotionally withdrawn teenagers, back talking, and at times, all hell breaking loose.

7. Realistic Siblings-If you are an only child, you may wanna skip this section. It might make you slightly depressed. I have a younger brother, Austin. Someone once told me that when I talk about him, I have a special tone of admiration in my voice reserved for just him. I adore him. But as I have watched him become a man, and he has watched me become a woman, the nature of our relationship has changed. Where we once centered all of our conversations around movies and television, playing pop-culture games, our relationship has matured with us. We have begun to formulate opinions about each others lives and actions. Some things that he does puzzle me, I am sure he feels the same way about my decisions. Yet, there is NO ONE on the PLANET that is more like me than he is. From the blood running through our veins to our mannerisms, no one can deny we are siblings, and our basic responses to most things are similar if not at times, identical. There is such a great comfort in this for me. Maybe the most fascinating thing that Parenthood has done is actually being able to create this kind of interaction between four unrelated actors. Zeke and Camille "birthed" these children who share different parts of their hippie spirit and ambition. Julia and Adam got the drive to succeed, Crosby and Sarah are the creative free spirits. Yet, when the four of them talk, they NAIL the dialogue and mannerisms of siblings. Their interaction is seamless. And aside from the way they interact (the best scenes are always the ones just between the 4 of them), their relationships are believable. Even though Adam and Sarah are different in most ways, he still goes to her for things because they are closer in age, not wanting to show Julia that he's less than perfect. Crosby adores and respects Adam, but needs and resents him at times. Julia and Sarah have very little in common personality wise, yet Sarah is so proud of Julia and all she's accomplished. These relationships are brilliantly written and acted, and hopefully they make people think about the treasure of having siblings. (Just for fun, did you know that Sarah and Adam date in real life?)

Amber's face is pretty much what I look like while listening to the music on Parenthood.

8.Music-As if Bob Dylan's Forever Young played through the opening of this show each week isn't enough to make you happy, the show is FULL of great music. Andrew Bird, The Avett Brothers, Neko Case, Leonard Cohen, Jack White, Fleetwood Mac, Iron and Wine, Missy Higgins...need I go on? All of these great artists and a ton more have had their songs showcased throughout episodes. In fact, you  might not realize it but each episode of Parenthood averages 5 songs. It used to be that Grey's Anatomy was the go-to show for up and coming artists and for us to find good music. They may have set the trend, but Parenthood has taken it and run with it. Hardly an episode goes by when I don't Shazam a song to see what it is. (Which brings me to this gem of a website: www.tunefinder.com They have EVERY song in EVERY episode of EVERY show you could possibly want to know about. Brilliant.) The thing I enjoy about the music of Parenthood is that it's not just new stuff, it's old stuff too, representative of the generations in the show. Aside from the music in the show, the show has a storyline revolving around music with the Luncheonette. I'd love to see them get to a place where they are bringing in more artists to perform. Bon Iver was on last season!

9. Perfect Dialogue-As a wannabe writer, I pay a lot of attention to language and how we communicate. I picked up pretty early on that Shonda Rhimes has a monologue in almost every episode of her shows where a character begins a speech with "You don't get to...." It didn't take me long to recognize the repetition and parallelism in the way she writes. Sit-coms have it easy because the goal is to deliver a joke, but trying to create natural conversation between characters while conveying the years of emotions built up from being related and have it hold up for 48 minutes each week and move the plot forward is difficult. But the writers of Parenthood are brilliant, and accompanied by actors who have really taken to their style. These "family" members talk over each other and like each other in a way that I've never seen on TV before. No character is exempt from these traits. There is so much truth to the fact that we begin to talk and develop similar mannerisms as the people we spend time around, and Parenthood impresses me each and every week with the interactions between characters.

"..and dear God, let me keep my job so I can buy a cute baby sloth for my beautiful wife."

10. What's Your Other Option?-Listen up NBC...if you cancel Parenthood, what are you going to replace it with? Another crime drama? Another medical show? Another sit-com that you keep threatening to cancel? Or maybe, God forbid, another "reality" show. The worst thing about NBC, is that they don't recognize a good thing when they have it. From Ann Curry to Dan Harmon, to any sit-com that never got past the first three episodes because it didn't bring in millions of viewers, NBC execs have their fingers on the trigger making watching TV there almost like eating at a buffet. From week to week they may not have the prime rib or pot roast that you love, but at least they have fried chicken, and by that I mean, SNL, so you keep coming back. Tina Fey isn't set to write TV again for a few years, and so I doubt there's anything that NBC could offer in the place of Parenthood that would cause me to watch. Come on NBC...make us proud....

Here's hoping Parenthood gets renewed!

What reasons do you have for wanting to see it come back?

So You Finished Season 3 of Downton Abbey...

First of all...welcome. I've been expecting you. Having sat quietly on that horrific ending of Season 3 for the last 2 months, I can honestly say that it's been tough watching your Facebook posts of celebration over marriages, babies, Bates' freedom, and Thomas not being a complete asshat. But alas, the celebration is over.

Matthew is dead.

Wait, I think I saw him breathe!

I've seen lots of anger at Julian Fellowes on Facebook and received quite a few texts regarding this most recent plot twist turn dead end. And it is in fact, tragic and maybe a bit reactionary. But my questions are not for Fellowes, they're for Dan Stevens.

What kind of guiding principles do you have that lead you away from THE most watched show in PBC history? Stevens insists he has other things coming down the pipe, some stage shows in New York, some writing opportunities, maybe a movie or two. He swears that he didn't want to be just the next big TV star. But my gut says he just put a nail in the coffin of his short-lived stardom.

The NICEST thing Fellowes could have done for him was to kill him off, because it keeps us sympathetic for him. Had Matthew left Mary, we would HATE him. Plot-wise it had to happen that way. Mary has a son, Matthew is practically Judas...serving his poetic purpose in a much larger story.

Ok, let's do this, I have to make a stop by Downton Abbey for what is basically becoming a British Horror Story.

Stevens' decision to leave goes directly against something I recently read from Tina Fey that I have adopted into my own guiding philosophy. Fey says:

The fun is always on the other side of a yes. Say yes, and you'll figure it out afterward. This has helped me to be more adventurous. It has definitely helped me be less afraid.

"We're offering you a job here at 'Saturday Night Live' -- can you move here within a week?"

"Ummm, yes I can."

"You know, you haven't been here that long, but do you want to move up and try to be one of the head writers?"

Feeling completely terrified inside, but saying, "Uhhh, yes, okay, yes, for sure."

"Do you wanna do 'Weekend Update' with Jimmy?"

Petrified. "Yes, thank you, of course!"

There are limits of reason to this idea of saying yes to everything, but when I meet someone whose first instinct is "No, how can we do that? That doesn't seem possible," I'm always kind of taken aback. Almost anyone would say, "It's Friday at two in the morning. We don't have an opening political sketch. We can't do it." Yeah, of course you can. There's no choice. And even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward. 

I remember observing the tendency people have to say "no" first when I was on staff at a church. No matter what was thrown out as a new idea, the fact it was new meant that there was built-in resistance. I was disgusted that our members and staff were investing themselves by thinking about the church and trying to make it better, only to be shut down around every corner. Fey's advice and experience resonates with me on a very personal level. Saying "no" guarantees one thing...that nothing changes. You stay as poor, as rich, as successful, as stuck, as happy, and as depressed as you are at that moment. A yes, guarantees movement every time.

Does this look like the face of the next big superstar?

Steven's might get by for a few more years on his floppy blonde hair and his sultry eyes, but I find it hard to believe that he will ever compete with the likes of Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling  on the big screen. I understand the concept of "leave 'em wanting more" but I also understand the concept of job security and being the most adored character on a super popular TV show. Ok...I don't understand that last part at all, but man...if I did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say no.

How long can Downton go on like this? Who will leave next? Why is this happening!? IS THIS REAL LIFE!!!???

 

The Following: Even Serial Killers Have Friends

If you know me at all or if you've read this blog, then you know I LOVE a good scare. But sometimes a movie or television show in this genre will reach into a dark place that feels...too scary, too real. Kevin Bacon's new show, The Following is pushing that boundary with me.

Can we just all agree that if we see someone wearing an Edgar Allen Poe mask, we run?

The premise of the show is as follows: Kevin Bacon is a former detective turned writer. Let me just stop there for a moment and reiterate a crucial detail that makes this show legit. Bacon is a FORMER DETECTIVE TURNED WRITER. This is not Castle. This is not some random fiction writer with no credentials helping to solve crimes. Nope. THAT show is ridiculous, and I will not stand for it. But THIS...this makes sense. Moving on...Bacon's character has to come back into the crime solving scene to face a former nemesis and serial killer who happens to have a cult following outside of prison. The story arc for this season is that the serial killer has had his ex-wife's (and Bacon's romantic interest) son kidnapped. Bacon and fellow officers are looking for him, but have very few clues to go on, as this crime has been well thought out and crafted over time. But the episodic formula is that each week someone close to Bacon is the victim of the cult followers. This of course is sprinkled with flashbacks of how each cult member came to serve the serial killer, as well as "random" members of society being victimized.

It's intriguing to say the least. Because you never know who is working for the serial killer. They could be policemen, teachers, nannies, students, even detectives. Pretty sure that'll preach.

Scariest pixie cut ever.

Anyway, all that is fine and dandy and not that different from any other crime drama. BUT...this one dances up to a line of sadism that is cringe worthy. The pain that is inflicted on the victims from week to week is surprising and drastic. Last week's episode featured electromagnets placed on a person with a pacemaker's chest. Eyes have been gouged, mothers have been stabbed, and my personal fear...a man was lit on fire. The thing is, the pain isn't limited to the victims. The cult followers are also susceptible to the torture. When one man ends up caught and in the hospital, he eats the gauze...let me repeat, HE EATS THE GAUZE around his wound until it chokes him.

Of course, maybe the most traumatic kind of pain is emotional. The three followers who are keeping the kidnapped child, have a strange threesome/romantic triangle thing going which creates its own kind of head games. But one of the three has never actually killed anyone. He allows a girl escape and the other two find out. Rather than killing her FOR him, they just bring her back and set her up again, slightly wounded and ready for him to try it again, to kill her. These types of mental/emotional challenges must be overcome to bring about the kind of devotion necessary for a cult to exist and succeed.

Why is it whenever I write about cults, I am reminded of a church I once attended?

The best revenge story since The Cask of Amontillado.

Anyway, The Following is really good. But it will push your limits. It will make you squirm and gasp at times. The show has the potential to go on for a long time. I predict ending this first season with a trade of some kind. Get the kid back for the wife. Or let the serial killer go free for the kid. Once that happens, the game will change, and new characters will come in. Whatever choices they make, I imagine that there is no end to the sadistic tactics that we as watchers will endure.

Are you watching The Following? What do you think?

Submitting to Valentine's Day

You guys know I'm not a huge Romantic Comedy fan. In fact, what I would really like to do is write a blog defining the Romantic Comedy. If I were to do that, some of my favorites would end up being Waitress, Eternal Sunshine, Garden State, and Lars and the Real Girl. But in honor of Valentine's Day, I submit to Cupid, Venus, Eros, and Hallmark to bring you my favorite Rom Coms. Enjoy this, it won't happen often!

1. While You Were Sleeping- This is my mom's favorite movie, so maybe it's her influence, but it's seriously a great movie. Sandra Bullock is adorable, and the side characters, in this case, the family, are perfect. Side characters are usually the "comedy" in Romantic Comedy, so they play an important role. I appreciate the interaction of this family almost as much as I appreciate Sandra Bullock's over-sized sweaters and the fact she works at a toll booth. By the time Bill Pullman declares his love for her, everyone else, both in the movie and the audience, is already in love with her.

You fell in love with me?

2. Return to Me- I've never been a huge David Duchovny fan, but Minnie Driver is wonderful. The premise of this movie is a heart breaker, literally. But again, it's the comedic relief of the elderly people who hang out at the restaurant that give this movie depth. Aside from their one-liners, they bring wisdom to the movie that Driver and Duchovny are in need of as they navigate what could be some tough waters. Plus, it has Bonnie Hunt who is like the key to success when it comes to Rom Coms. Which brings me to...

I wish this were Dylan McDermott.

3. Jerry Maguire- Don't judge me for liking a movie where Tom Cruise is the star. This movie is so much more than a love story. That's what it ENDS UP being about, but there is so much that happens before that and around that. If anything, it's about a man coming to terms with the dualities that exist within him. The formula isn't obvious, even if it does have a funny kid in it. Getting to the heart of the matter, this movie really captures the awkwardness of liking someone but not loving them yet, but wanting to secure your place with them, but not wanting to commit. The dialogue in the movie is classic, which we all know because it contains some of the most mocked and repeated lines in movie history. My personal favorite being...this one...

How much does the human heart weigh?

4. Roxanne- Look, if you haven't seen this, go watch it now. Based on "Cyrano de Bergerac," Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah are a super odd combination, but the movie just works. This was probably one of my first Romantic Comedy experiences, and I remember being so happy that someone who was less than perfect ended up with the girl! Steve Martin is amazing in this movie. There's a scene where people are making fun of his nose and he joins them. I love that use of humor to shame them and to show his brilliance and confidence.

I love your nose, Charlie!

5. Never Been Kissed-I like to think that I share a connection with Drew Barrymore. We have the same birthday, so there's something to that right? When I saw her in Never Been Kissed, I knew we shared a connection. She pulls off awkward and dorky waaaaay too well not to actually be awkward and dorky in real life. Unfortunately, the movie is guilty of what I consider to be one of the most annoying things about Romantic Comedies...the lack of communication. Most Rom Coms would only last about 15 minutes if just one line of dialogue was added to them to explain whatever misunderstanding launches the rest of the dramatic plot. But this one is just so fun. Michael Vartan is gorgeous, and even adult Josie finds herself giving into the peer pressure of acting a certain way. Plus...it has this line in it about Josie wearing white jeans after labor day, and someone responds, "I don't think you're supposed to wear white jeans after 1983." Boom.

Josie Grossie!

6. The Wedding Singer-Speaking of Drew Barrymore, the best soundtrack to a 90's movie came from this one. When Adam Sandler leaves his over-the-top characters at home, he can actually act, and this movie is so sweet. From his teaching voice lessons, to epitomizing the 80's in all their glory, The Wedding Singer is a classic. I love the transition of these two people as they find themselves drawn together and how they both try to act with integrity in that. But mostly I love how many great lines and references this movie has in it. And don't get me started on the clothes!

Church tongue.

7. Forces of Nature-I'm the first to admit that this next one is not a classically great movie. But I love something about it. Maybe it's the free spirit in me. Maybe it's the combination of Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock (which doesn't even measure to Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal). But it just seems that the stakes are high in this movie or something. And I like the implication of the title, that some things just can't be stopped. And I really like the rain at the end of the movie. I think what I'm trying to say, is that in spite of Affleck's bad comedic timing, and a less than perfect movie with what some people call a bad ending, I like the theme. That the grass might be greener on the other side, but it doesn't mean you have to go live on that grass, you can just water what you have to make it greener.

8. Romancing The Stone-Remember when Michael Douglas was considered sexy? And Kathleen Turner, wow! This was one of my very favorite movies for a long time. I felt like it combined Indiana Jones with romance, and I loved it. I loved that she was a writer and he was a rebel. Consequently, I watched the "sequels" to this one, The Jewel of the Nile and arguably, The War of the Roses. There's not really any quality to this, it's just fun!

A hopeful romantic.

9.Can't Buy Me Love-Before he was McDreamy, he was Ronald Miller. Ronald. In my opinion, this is the movie that MOST teen/high school Rom Coms are based on these days. From the rise to popularity, the dishonesty behind it, the ridiculous dance at the prom, slow clapping, lunch room fighting, and inevitable shunning, this movie has it all. I like the way it shows Ronald's change from being a nerd to being popular, and how he has to abandon his friends to get there. Of course this leaves him alone, which is where you deserve to be after lying, abandoning friends, and trying to be someone you're not. The ending's good though. It also has Amanda Peterson in it, who really never acted in anything substantial again, even with her adorable dimples.

I 'll probably be out of the country.

10. Anything Julia Roberts-Listen...you might not like her lips or her laugh, but I adore her. I think she is pretty close to flawless when it comes to acting. In her real Hollywood life, she has had very few mishaps that have landed her in controversy. She is known for her grace, integrity, and honesty in a career that strives to suck those things from you. And there is really no fighting it...she is the queen of the Romantic Comedy. Don't talk to me about Meg Ryan (honorable mentions, You've Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle) or Sandra Bullock. And don't make me laugh at you by for mentioning Katherine Heigl. Anne Hathaway is on her way out of this genre, and Kate Hudson has about 50 more movies to do before she catches up with Roberts...not to mention, she needs to work on quality.

From Pretty Woman when we all pretty much fell for her, to Larry Crowne and (almost) EVERYTHING in between, she is my favorite Rom Com actress. My personal favorite is My Best Friend's Wedding because I think she is at her best in that movie. But a close second for me is Runaway Bride. The cast of that movie is so at ease, and it's full of Easter eggs for fans of Roberts and her past movies. Here's a little sampling of JUST her Rom Com listing. It is not extensive NOR does it include her brilliant roles that fall outside the genre. Conspiracy Theory, Stepmom, Pretty Woman, America's Sweethearts,Something To Talk About, Steel Magnolias, Mystic Pizza, Larry Crowne, Mona Lisa Smile, My Best Friend's Wedding, and Notting Hill. JUST TO NAME A FEW. My favorite scenes of her include The Notting Hill "I'm just a girl..." speech. Pretty Woman shopping trip and Pretty Woman "I say who!" speech. Runaway Bride scene with Joan Cusack where she makes the platypus face. And Mona Lisa Smile (which by the way has one of the most amazing casts of any movie ever) scene where she lectures them on the portrayal of women in advertising and contemporary art. (You can find the link at You Tube under "Mona Lisa Smile What For?")  Anyway, there's not much romance or comedy in that one, but you get the point, she's wonderful.

If you love someone you say it. Right then, out loud. Or else the moment just...passes you by.

Ok...your turn! 

What is your FAVORITE Romantic Comedy and Why?

"We'll Put on a Performance Like They'll Never Forget!"

In case you can't tell from the title of this blog, I'm still hate-watching Smash. I've had it with the over the top drama that begs the question, does the content serve the form or the form serve the content? I mean, this IS a show about the drama of Broadway. Is the ridiculous drama meant to immerse us into that culture? Or could the show possibly be approached from a slightly different form that would allow us to appreciate the drama of the actual musical within the show. As it stands now, the scenes that are musical numbers seem LESS strained than the interactions between characters and bipolar plot twists. Talk about some high highs and some low lows...

How can these people afford to sit around and wait for Jennifer Hudson to save their show?

Glee has desensitized us from being turned off by characters bursting into song. Nashville has worked music into the drama of their show seamlessly. But Smash...well...it plays like...a musical. Which to some people is bad enough. Remember when you took your friend to see Evita and they were like..."What! There was no talking!" It happens. The thing is, I'm a person who loves musicals. But I like GOOD musicals. Smash is not too different from the off-off---OFF Broadway shows that it's referring to in the film. The only thing is that...those musicals don't get NEAR the attention or talent that is given to this one. It would never have such a "high-powered" financial backer like Anjelica Huston's character. Nor those writers with so much success under their belts.

You're gonna love me.

Now when I say talent, I am being very hesitant and even selective. I mean...Ivy. She is the only enjoyable part of this show. Watching Debra Messing with a perma-frown is no fun after her years as Grace...and where is her hair? Jennifer Hudson's appearance was simply to boost the show back onto our radar. And don't EVEN get me started on Katherine McPhee. Is there like a "Fembot American Idol Club" that she and Carrie Underwood are members of? You can be pretty all day long, but can you carry on a conversation? Can you raise your eyebrows in time with your emotions? Come on! I worry that someone like Idina Menzel is going to get pegged for this show...but I seriously hope she will remember her RENT days and jump over the moon, laughing at "the man" (the man being Smash) all the way. Of course, her level of talent might be what it takes to save this show. Do we want it saved?

Frenemies. More of this please.

Aside from the talent, the writers of this show should be ashamed of themselves. No one gets away with rhetorical dialogue without a laugh track or a Shonda Rhimes backing. Stop writing the obvious and throw us for a loop. Let Ivy lean into her badness. Let Katherine lose her ridiculous faux innocence that no one even buys because we all know in real life she's a bitch, and let's get on with this thing. Enough with the affair scandals. We want to see you focus on 2 things: The Musical and The Competition. And by the way, this season better end with the musical being on GO, so that next season (oh geez, I just said that...) can be about the drama of actually making a musical. And here's the thing...if the show will get it's act together...then I guarantee we could be seeing an ACTUAL SMASH MUSICAL on Broadway in a few years. Stranger things have happened. Right?

Look, I gave up on Revenge. I gave up on Once Upon a Time. Smash...you're next if you don't watch out. Now..get out there and give me a performance that I'll never forget!

Are you (still) watching Smash? What do you think?

Jennifer Lawrence Deserves an Oscar and a Hug

The other night, I watched Silver Linings Playbook. I'd heard that it was "my kind" of movie, and indeed it was. It was actually a lot funnier than I expected, and a lot sweeter. But it was also very raw in places. The best acting took place in facial expressions and exchanged glances between characters. The dialogue was...ok. But that's kinda how real life is isn't it? I mean, rarely am I having conversations using elevated language in my day to day interactions...except when I talk to Meredith...then all bets are off.

She's making homemades!

I've always struggled with Bradley Cooper. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's very nice to look at. I don't even mind his perma-sweat look that he sported in the Hangover movies.What I DO mind is the fact that he was actually IN the Hangover movies. We all make mistakes. Silver Linings was not one of them for Cooper though. He nailed the part, and if you've ever known someone with Bipolar then you know he nailed it. If you aren't sure if you know anyone with Bipolar, now you can be sure...just watch his performance.

De Niro was great too, but I mean...that's like saying chocolate is good. OF COURSE IT IS.

For me the best performance was given by Jackie Weaver (not to be confused with Jamie Gertz's character on The Neighbors), who played the wife/mom of the family the movie centers around. Her lines were minimal, but spot on. Her mannerisms were...amazing. She nailed everything about her role...from accent to eyebrow raises to her nervously cautious but hopeful smiles.

Wait just a minute...when did Julia Stiles become an extra.

Even though Weaver was incredible, Jennifer Lawrence stole the show. Her presence on the screen is just so powerful. I would say that's the same for any movie I've seen her in so far. She's so into her characters that she makes everyone else look like they're phoning it in. She has a confrontational scene with Robert De Niro that blew me away. Not only did she hold her own, she was so clearly the best actor in the room. I was in awe of her the entire movie.

The other night I actually had a dream that J Law was my best friend. We were camping together and she was advising me what to wear to some party I was attending. I woke up with the sweetest most satisfied feeling...having J Law as a bestie would probably give you that permanently. So she was already on my mind this week, but seeing her performance just made me love her even more.

I wasn't gonna focus on this, but I have to say something. I don't get why her size is ever even talked about. Her face is kind of heart shaped like Mini Driver or Reese Witherspoon. But there is nothing abnormal at all about her body, unless curves are the new abnormal. Can we women just agree to stop praising stick figures who look like they are malnutritioned? In my opinion, the most beautiful women have curves. That's what makes us look like women instead of 11 year old boys. Here, someone hold my soapbox, so I can finish this blog.

Wait, what's wrong with the way she looks? Oh...you can see her hips? Dammit J Law...get your shit together!

The thing that I worry about more than anything for Jennifer Lawrence is that she will get hard. She's obviously a target for some people. Rather than choosing to believe the best about her when she accepted her Golden Globe declaring, "I beat Meryl!" (A line from First Wives Club), the media questioned her ego. Nothing about her screams ego to me. The media has even tried to perpetuate some crazy feud between her and Jessica Chastain, who commented recently that this is purely nonsense. She seems to be handling things well. But then, that's what happens to celebrities. They seem like they're doing ok then they shave their heads and start dating John Mayer. The last thing I want to see is Jennifer Lawrence giving a bitter, Jodie Fosteresque speech later in life about the impossibility of privacy in Hollywood and how hard it is to grow up in the spotlight. Until then, I think she's on her way to being a seriously timeless actress.

fun. is Just That.

I don't know how you felt about the Grammy's last night...but I loved them. It was like someone took the most listened to songs on my ipod from the last year and shuffled them. I was torn from category to category because so many of my favorites were nominated. In the end I was thrilled to see Gotye win for what might end up being his one-hit-wonder, but is seriously such a great song. I was of course happy for Mumford and Sons winning for Babel, seriously a great album. And having become a recent fan of fun. I was really happy to see them get some attention. They are like Styx meets Queen. Their tight harmonies and creative music combined with really good lyrics have put them at the top of my list this month. Their music is thoughtful, inspiring, and...well, fun.

Carry on, fun.

What blew me away about the show last night, was the talent on the stage. I love the direction that music is going. With the exceptions of: 1. Taylor Swift who should NEVER BE ASKED TO PERFORM LIVE AGAIN. She's just not good live. And was she trying to channel Lady Gaga? Alice in Wonderland? Ugh. and 2. Fembot Carrie Underwood, who must be related to Romney...can't dance or even move to the beat so they gave her a glowing dress that did all the work for her. I thought everyone else blew it away.

Hold on, Alabama Shakes. Your turn is coming.

Mumford and Sons is just INCREDIBLE. I love that Kelly Clarkson is still around and nailing it. She can sing and she has personality (take notes Underwood). Bruno Mars and Sting were super entertaining. I loved Elton, Ed Sheeran, Alabama Shakes, Maroon 5, Alicia Keys, The Lumineers, Justin Timberlake, and fun. The performances were beyond entertaining, but what I was the most encouraged by is that music, at least according to the Grammy's, seems to be moving to a place where you have to actually be musical again. Vocals matter, instruments are back. It's not hard to see based on last night that this alternative/folk/grassroots sound is pushing out those performers who hide behind lights and dancers. And as a music lover, that is thrilling!

What did you think of the Grammy's? 

What was the best performance? 

Was there anyone you couldn't stand watching?

Did You Hear...Katy Perry Likes Garbage Snacks.

Have you ever seen that SNL skit on Weekend Update where Bobby Moynihan plays the "Second-Hand News Correspondent" and doesn't get anything right ever?  Here's the clip if you wanna see it.

Anyway, that was me in my last post.

Here are the things I got wrong:

Jennifer Aniston isn't married yet. I think I messed up on this because such a huge deal was made out of her ring, and then they had that party around Christmas...and somewhere in my slight disinterest, I just made assumptions that this thing was full on go. So when I heard they'd started counseling only after a few months of marriage, I got snarky. I am all for counseling, but the timing seemed strange. Now of course, it makes perfect sense...though I might stop referring to it as "Marriage Boot Camp" if I were them.

I'm not sure where I read this next mistake, or maybe I dreamed it. You know, dreams are made up of like 80% of your deepest desires. And so I was under the impression last night that Adele and Barbra Streisand were going to do a duet on the Grammy's. It made perfect sense to me given the Elton and Sting appearances. But as the credits rolled, I sat there with my mouth open in frustration. Not only was I very aware that I'd have to make corrections in this blog, but I'd kinda held back my excitement waiting for this epic performance that never happened. Sigh. I did read that both women will be performing at the Oscars...but that's all I'm gonna say about it for now. I hate being wrong.

In other "how did I miss this" news...I thought Katy Perry and John Mayer had broken up. Oh well...at least one there's no mistaking one thing...

 

Katy Perry has boobs.

There Are Things To Say...Weekend Fat Is Back.

Upon my return to the States, I thought I might enjoy a little break from blogging to give me time to  adjust into a new routine....and I did. But now there's just too much to say. So I'm back. Now, let's dive in...

Last night I saw a new trailer for the Gatsby movie, and I'm pretty sure I squealed. I still have my doubts about a few things. Will it be too Moulin Rouge-ish? How did they get Leo to look even younger? Can Carey Mulligan play aloof? Why isn't Tom Hardy in it? But overall, I'm pretty excited.

Can you repeat the past? We're certainly gonna try!

Adele and Barbra Streisand are performing a duet at the Grammy's this weekend. Babs hasn't performed there in 36 years; which means my mother wasn't even old enough to drink when she last took the stage. I hope she finds a respectful and encouraging audience at the show, which shouldn't be a problem since she's singing WITH Adele. I'm sure Adele can adele Streisand's career for this generation, since she's a superhero and all.

A star is born.

Maybe it was the Absinthe in my Sazerac, or maybe it was the fact that I was completely bored by the Superbowl (didn't know they still had Superbowls when the Saints aren't participating), but somehow I missed the fact that the lights went out for...apparently, a while. What I did NOT miss that night was the disgusting sound of a nerd kissing a supermodel, the irony of a farmer appreciation commercial in a country that wants to crack down on immigration laws, and the overwhelming feeling to throw my hands up when Destiny's Child performed.

Angel style.

My friend Julie's gonna hate me for this, but I have to pick on Jennifer Aniston. Did you know she and her new husband are already in counseling? They want to get some of those lingering things from past relationships dealt with. Look, I'm ALL FOR counseling. But maybe do that kind of counseling BEFORE you get married??? Also, when is she gonna announce that she's having a baby already? We all know that's what this is all about. Rumor has it that Angelina's pregnant again. Take that Aniston.

Glowing.

In other news, Anne Hathaway's hair is growing back out. Thank goodness we don't have to hear her whine about this anymore. We will know whether or not she's serious about being a "real" actress based on what she does with it from here on out. It's kind of an understanding that unless you're Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, or Jennifer Lawrence, you'd better keep your hair short to avoid those Rom-Com roles. Of course, if she lands an Oscar maybe that's enough to get her into the "people in Hollywood we can respect" club. It does bother me that she's been heard "complaining" about all the attention surrounding Les Mis and the Oscar nominations. She says she's stopped going to lunch. How devastating. So here's the deal...half of me likes her for being authentic even if it is authentically ridiculous. But the other half of me really wants someone to teach her something about being graceful. Did you know there are actually people called, "Hathahaters?"  In spite of it all, I'm actually rooting for you this time around Anne...

Oh geez.