A Celebration of Guilty Pleasures a.k.a Confession Time

I missed blogging on Monday. I'd love to say it's because of some fabulous event that swept me up and took my time and attention away from writing, but it wasn't. It was just guilty pleasures. With all the Magic Mike hype, guilty pleasures have been on my brain lately.

Vanessa has never looked like that ever.

I haven't hidden the fact that I watched the entire series of Gossip Girl recently. I can admit it was redundant. I wanted the characters to depart a little from their totally predictable natures. I also wanted the dramedy of erros to stop. If they just let each other finish a sentence, then half of the problems would be quickly resolved. But they are just so fun to look at! Gossip Girl and many other shows fall (for me) into the guilty pleasure category. They really don't add a ton of value or knowledge to my life, nor do they deepen my character. If anything, they feed something very superficial and...fun...in me. It's summer...it's hot...who wants to think!? In the name of true confession, here is where I've been instead of blogging.

Can we crop the "kid" out of this picture?

Last week I watched Cougar Town. I even ordered some legit wine (not Moscato, which according to my friend Joni, should be my most embarrassing guilty pleasure) so that I COULD watch Cougar Town. Seems like a pre-requisite. It struck me more as a suburban Sex and the City. You think it's gonna be about the romantic relationships but it's really more about the friendships. After the first few episodes, the title becomes very misleading, it's not at all about cougars (of any kind). It's slapstick but kind of hip in a really aware of itself being dorky way. For example, they have these moments where everyone says something in unison. Now, I have a lot of friends, and a lof of different groups of friends, and I can't remember the last time we chimed in with some kind of impromptu unison chant. Totally too fabricated, and yet, I like it! The only thing that I hate about it is the mother/son relationship. It's so inappropriate and borderline gross. In fact, I kind of just hate the son altogether. His a man-child with his pale pasty skin and weird attempt at facial hair, and oily hair, no way can I begin to believe that he came out of Courtney Cox.

They should have named them all after cheeses. 

The natural follow-up to Cougar Town, is of course, Desperate Housewives. I have just started it from the beginning. I can't really speak about the show yet, it's too soon. But I've heard that it has some rough and ridiculous patches. I will give you my verdict in a few weeks.

Learning is Funtastic!

Other recent dips into the pool of guilty pleasures have been, GCB. I talked about this one a while back. It hit ridiculousness too early and ended up being cancelled. I also watched Bad Teacher again yesterday. I pretty much just love Ms. Squirrel and want to watch more movies with her. But it only made me hate Cameron Diaz more. The internet here in China is full of guilty pleasure movies. I even re-watched The Hangover last week. I'll admit, I laughed out loud a few times. 


I've never been a huge Jersey Shore fan, but I do enjoy some Real Housewives. New Jersey is of course my favorite, but I like OC as well. I know, I know...total trash.

I should probably let this be a July thing and try to move on to more sophisticated entertainment in August to get my brain back in shape for school. But for now, it's just so fun!

Your turn for Confession Time!!! 

What's your favorite Guilty Pleasure? 

What are you watching this summer?

Indian Summer

One of my favorite, and maybe one of the most defining movies of my youth is Indian Summer. The movie came out in 1993 and stars the following: Alan Arkin, Kimberly Williams, Diane Lane, Bill Paxton, Elizabeth Perkins, Kevin Pollak, Sam Raimi, Vincent Spano, and Julie Warner. You might not recognize some of those names but you would recognize their faces. Side note: On Easter 2005, I sat next to Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams at Brentwood Baptist Church outside of Nashville. They are both tiny.

We are not nice people.

Indian Summer is about a group of people who receive invites to come back to a camp they attended as youth. It's 20 years later and their lives are complicated and complacent. They arrive reluctantly and begin to relive their memories at the camp; the good, the bad, and the hilarious. Alan Arkin, the camp director, reveals that his reason for inviting them back is because he can no longer run the camp and has to sell it. They are all devastated at this news, and try to figure out ways to intervene. In the process they have a ton of laughs as well as some moments that remind them of who they used to be and challenge them to change who they are.

I love everything about this movie. I love the title. I love the scenery. I love camp. There are lots of silent moments that end up being very thoughtful or very funny. The dialogue is clever and forwards the story. The acting is great and it's a really sweet story. This movie made me want to be Elizabeth Perkins because she manages to have the funniest one liners in it. She is so cynical and yet a softy at heart. Diane Lane is so lovable in it, and Bill Paxton is hilarious! The movie celebrates all the greatest things about camp: traditions, pranks, and barely running water.

Uncle Lou! You know I hate boxing!

This movie is easily in my top 10, and I could watch it over and over. If you haven't seen it or haven't seen it lately, then watch it!

My Favorite Episodes Of The Andy Griffith Show

When I was in high school, every night my mom and I stayed up and watched reruns of The Andy Griffith Show. We would laugh and tear up and look at each other and laugh that we were crying. These moments were probably my first realizations that I was bound to be just like my mother. Even today I can barely get through a few heartfelt sentences without the tears flowing. I cry at reality shows, commercials, and of course, still, The Andy Griffith Show. I don't know how much Andy Griffith was like Andy Taylor in real life, but I can't imagine that he could play this part for all those years and not learn from it. In memory of the amazing Andy Griffith, here are some of my favorite episodes.


The New Housekeeper-The first episode ever is when Aunt Bee moves in to take care of Opie and Andy. Opie is not thrilled because the last housekeeper, Rose, could fish, play baseball and a lot more! Aunt Bee is a little older and can't do these things as well. Opie acts so hateful and Andy disappointed, says this gem, "And to think I was glad when you learned to talk!" Aunt Bee decides to leave, but when Opie realizes she is leaving he runs down to stop her, claiming that she needs him because she can't do ANYTHING!


I love this one because it's the first one, and it sets up so nicely the kind of father Andy is going to be in the show. He doesn't push too hard, but communicates his disappointment and it's enough. He goes on to do this throughout the rest of the series! 

I love when he would throw his head back and laugh.

Andy The Marriage Counselor-A couple in town is causing disturbances with all their fighting, so Andy decides to step in to help them be nicer to each other. As they make peace with each other they become combative toward everyone in town. Andy has to make the couple mad at each other again in order to restore peace to the town!


Andy is rarely the one learning the lesson, but this is one of those episodes that he doesn't know best. The idea that happiness and love are defined differently by everyone is a great lesson that I think we all struggle to accept.

No wonder Ron Howard ended up being so awesome!

Opie And The Bully-Opie is being bullied at school by Sheldon who is demanding his lunch money. Andy tries to decide how to handle the situation, whether to intervene or not. He decides to share his own bullying experience as a kid, and in doing so gives Opie the courage to stand up to Sheldon. The results are a black eye and a boost of confidence.


Another example is Andy's great parenting! He doesn't solve Opie's problems for him, but is vulnerable enough to let him know he's not alone, and without saying so, gives him permission to solve the bully situation in any way he needs to. It's called trust I think. 

So much wisdom in that smile.

Deputy Otis-Otis, the town drunk, has been using courthouse stationery to write his brother, and because of this his brother has come to believe that he works there as a deputy. Andy and Barney help Otis pose as a deputy to impress his older brother who is coming through town. In the end, Otis learns that his older brother is also the town drunk!


Sure, it's going a little far, but this just shows Andy's love for even the least of these. He is willing to do what he can to help Otis out. 

These three!

Mr. McBeevee-When Opie starts talking about his friend, Mr. McBeevee, Andy is worried that Opie has a make believe friend because his description of Mr. Mcbeevee is so hard to believe! Barney is skeptical at Andy's patient approach with Opie and says, "Do you believe in Mr. McBeevee." Andy replies, "No, no, no. I believe in Opie." Just when Andy starts to doubt Opie, he sees Mr. McBeevee and realizes that he is a telephone man, explaining Opie's strange description that he walks in the trees. 


I love the way Andy never jumps to conclusions but lets situations play out before acting. His patience and wisdom keep him out of a lot of bad situations. This is one of those. It also shows that he really does have faith in people, which is a quality that can lead to a lot of hurt, but also a lot of happiness. 

Can't beat Andy's brand of friendship.

The Clubmen-Andy is invited to The Esquire Club, an elite club, but brings Barney with him. Barney acts ridiculous trying to come across as polished and familiar with high society. The club offers Andy an invitation to join the club but not Barney. Andy declines out of loyalty to his friend. Barney never finds out of course, thinking that it is HE who has been invited, not Andy, and declines, also out of loyalty for his friend. 


The relationship between Barney and Andy drives me crazy if the truth be told. I always want Andy to put Barney in his place. But this episode is ONE OF MANY where Andy never really clues Barney into the fact that he has paved the way for whatever good thing Barney is experiencing. I suppose this is true friendship, though it could be argued that a little accountability could lead Barney to make better decisions. Still, Andy is perfectly supportive and sacrificial in every way when it comes to Barney. Giving him the benefit of the doubt and standing by his side again and again. 

Independence Day

Because it's only one of the best speeches ever.

Happy 4th!

10 Things That Will Destroy Your Marriage Before Magic Mike Does

Your marriage doesn't stand a chance.

I've been standing on the sidelines these last few days watching the controversy of Magic Mike unfold. I wasn't going to do this, but it keeps coming up, so of course, I have to share my thoughts.


I've seen Facebook posts like, "Girl's night out...Woohoo! Gonna get my Magic Mike on!" These posts are hilarious to me. I know these women. They cook spaghetti for their ungrateful teenagers and a husband who comes home later and later each night. I know they need a night out with friends, and probably a little eye candy too. 


Of course there are other posts too. They go a little overboard with what they'd like to do to Channing Tatum, and I can feel the heat coming off the computer. These women might be taking things a little too seriously. But I like to think it's just rhetoric. 


Maybe my favorite comment so far was from a very conservative friend who said, "Heck no, I'm not going to see Magic Mike until it's out on IMAX!" 


And finally there are these types of posts, "I will not go see Magic Mike! What a double standard! The Bible clearly states do not set before your eyes any vile thing. How would you like it if your husband went to see a movie like this about women!" 


Sigh. 


I have to point out that this is not the first movie like this! Both Striptease and Showgirls were hits all the way back in 1995 and 1996. Boogie Nights (less stripper more porn) objectified Marky Mark long ago, and the Full Monty...well does anyone remember what a full monty actually is!? Movies have been made about, and containing, strippers for a very long time. I will not even bother to do the work for you to prove my point, just go Google, "movies about strippers." And don't even get me started on the provocative characters in video games! And did you know there's no full frontal male nudity in Magic Mike, but there are boobs? So why is Magic Mike so upsetting!


I read a book once called Respectable Sins. It addresses the way we often react in extremes to the most obvious sins but rarely recognize those that plague us daily. I think reactions to Magic Mike like that last one I mentioned fall into the category of turning a blind eye toward the day to day struggles. I see a brief window of opportunity to address something that DOES in fact concern me.  It has very little to do with Magic Mike, and everything to do with the other posts I see everyday on Facebook. And Ladies, I'm mostly talking to you. 


Here are 10 things that will destroy your marriage before Magic Mike ever has a chance to! 

1. Obama-I mean, he gets the blame for everything else, why not this too!?

You can just tell... he's totally out to ruin marriage.

2. Money-No one has enough. Everyone wants more. To get more you have to work more. But working more means less time together. More time together without money to do anything fun makes you depressed and angry at each other. It's a catch 22. And then there's the matter of what you do with your money. You want a vacation, your husband wants to pay off a credit card. While it's probably true that opposites attract, the very thing that brings balance to your marriage is the very thing that drives you crazy. Pinterest helps a little with lots of frugal ideas for improving your home or saving money on food, but there's still no pin for growing a money tree. That constant uphill battle to make ends meet (especially while watching everyone else posts pictures of their dream cruise on Facebook) could mean trouble for you.


3. Escapism-Pick your poison...50 Shades of Grey, Farmville, Twilight, Pinterest, Glee, Nicholas Sparks (books and movies), and yes, I will go there, Karen Kingsbury. I don't care what your "drug" of choice is! Part of my problem with the Magic Mike fiasco is that it represents the same thing that women do all of the time in more acceptable ways! They escape from their lives through books, the internet, TV shows, movies and more! The problem with Magic Mike is that it actually looks threatening (well, one woman's threatening is another woman's HOT). And sure, there is thrusting involved. But you are lying to yourself if you don't think that reading fiction books about families who are more dedicated to the Lord than yours, doesn't lead you to a place of coveting. You want that kind of faith, that kind of man, that kind of child. Please hear me on this, I am not shaming you for anything you read or watch, I am only pointing out that escapism is escapism period. 

It's just a fling...that lasts 10 hours a day!

4. Facebook-You hear your baby crying, you know your kids are hungry, you just haven't gotten around to those dishes yet, because you have been playing on Facebook all day long. No judgment here. I live on Facebook these days. And research proves it's addictive. But while you connect with that high school boyfriend or live vicariously through that rich single woman who just went to Italy, you are missing out on your actual life. Facebook has become an acceptable escape from life these days. Even so, I would venture to say that a one time hit of Magic Mike would do a lot less harm than the 10 hours a day you stare at a screen. 




5. Parenting-Mom said "no" so the kids asked Dad. Dad was mowing the grass or watching the game, or tired from a long day at work and said, "I don't care." No matter who overrides who, this is an example of not being on the same page when it comes to the kids. And while it's the classic, "the kids played us" bit, it's only a symptom. You gave up on talking about parenting strategies years ago. And most likely Dad has taken the laid back approach, letting Mom make all the decisions. Because he could never seem to make any right decisions anyway when the kids were young. The result is a constant struggle with you wanting your husband to step up and parent, and relinquishing enough control to actually let him do it.

Look at me, now look at your husband, now look back at me.

6. Old Spice Commercials-You reposted the commercials of that handsome man with the rock hard abs. You know he smells good too. So is it okay to lust as long as it's done in 23 second increments?  


7. "Bad" Habits-Gaining weight, smoking, video games, sports, (to name a few) all of these are culprits for destroying your marriage if only one of you are doing them. It almost plays like an affair. The extreme dedication and loyalty to a habit can leave you feeling neglected and angry at that thing. If you're going to be unhealthy, it's better to do it together or else resentment could grow. If you marry a gamer you better learn live with it or learn to play. These habits and interests are ways for you both to connect with other people more than you connect with each other. 


8. Talking bad about your spouse-I know you think you need to vent, and venting is one thing. I have lots of friends who roll their eyes at their husband's snoring or inability to change the toilet paper roll. But if you are spending any consistent amount of time bitching about your husband's personality flaws to anyone without attempting to communicate these problems/frustrations to him, or better yet, going to counseling, then you are divisive in your marriage. Period.

You had me at prisoner

9. Negativity-In case no one's told you, negativity will destroy all of your relationships. Your constant nagging and view of the half empty glass wears on you and everyone around you. 


10. Scientology-It's a long shot to think that any of my readers are involved in this cult, ahem, religion. But just in case, I give you exhibit A: TomKat. 



Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go watch Mulan to gear up for my trek across China in a few weeks. Escapism indeed!

Come on, I know you wanna say something....

Once Upon A Time...There Was This GREAT Show!

I just finished the first (and only so far) season of Once Upon A Time. WOW!


Now look, you really have to put on your belief suspenders (not gonna lie, I stole that from my friend Romelle) to get into this show. But you watched Lost, or at least Castle, so I'm sure you can handle this one. It takes the fairy tales you have enjoyed all your life and mixes them together as though they all happened in one place. The characters intertwine and connect in ways you don't see coming. And it turns out (snapping my belief suspenders here) that all of those characters live in THIS world now but there is a curse on them preventing them from remembering anything about their lives before, in the fairy tale land. The goal is for the curse to be broken, and only one woman can do that. I know...I know...but you guys...YOU GUYS...just trust me. This is a great show. 

And they're dating in real life too! Awwww!

Because the Evil Queen isn't just evil, she has depth. She feels so deeply, she's been hurt before. I had a therapist once that said if you don't deal with grief when it comes then it will find you later in life and it will affect you and everyone around you. We come to find out this is true with the Queen and many other characters! We get to see the flaws in them, how they are always up for making a deal in order to "save" someone only to have that deal hurt them down the road. We get to see that good and evil are not so black and white. And part of the fun of it is predicting who will be what fairy tale character. 

Like a magical Brady Bunch plus some mystery minus the lisp.

I don't want to spoil this show anymore than I already have, but you need to watch it. Oh, and the acting is great! Ginnifer Goodwin is really the only main person you've heard of in it, but the others are excellent too. They are all beautiful and really buy into the roles. It's surprisingly smart and I am excited to see where they go with things next season! There are so many stories for them to play with! 


It's summer, it's hot, what else are you doing? Watch it!

Pop-Culture Attack

I slept 11 hours last night. It was awesome. Except that when I woke up, I woke up to a different pop-culture world than the one I fell asleep in. 


Adele is pregnant. I mean, yay! Except is Adele ready for a baby? I know, I know, no one's ever really ready. So will this change her career? I know, I know, it has to. Not even Adele can have it all. Or can she? 

Woah Baby!

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are divorcing. YAY! Have they only been together for 5 years? Cause it feels like 10 at least. I bet it felt that way to Katie too. I am shocked not because I thought their relationship was so great, but because I am surprised she was allowed out. I hear she is going to fight for custody of Suri. I think a paternity test should be in order. We all know Tom is a hermaphrodite and that is NOT his kid.  It appears that her filing was a surprise to him. Does that scare anyone else? Cause he's not rational. Can we get a security detail on Suri/Katie please?

She looks terrified.

Magic Mike is in theaters rendering all of my friends 14 year old girls. I am just jealous I'm sure. It will be months before I can enjoy this ab-fest. So if anyone wants to write a review or has something to say about the movie, by all means, let me know and we will get a guest post up in here.


Lindsay Lohan...sigh...apparently did a photo shoot where she held a gun to her face/put it in her mouth. COME ON LINDSAY! Didn't you read my letter!

"Great picture," said no one ever.

And lastly, Jennifer Lawrence was seen flirting with John Mayer, which in my book just means she's entered womanhood. But you know how up in arms everyone gets about John Mayer. Do you think he has a scavenger hunt list of women to be seen with? Like it's all just a game for him? Also why does everyone like the song, Daughters?

Mulligan!

I need a do over. 


A few weeks ago I made some claims about Carey Mulligan when I wrote this blog about the upcoming Great Gatsby movie. I was less than thrilled that she had been chosen for the role of Daisy, because I see Daisy as someone strikingly, almost breathtakingly beautiful in a very conventional plastic kind of way. I think I mentioned January Jones would have been better. 


Then I saw the movie Never Let Me Go. It's a dystopian movie about people who are cloned and born for one reason and one reason only, to serve as organ donors until they die. It's a quiet and devastating movie, but I loved it. Carey Mulligan stars with Andrew Garfield and Kiera Knightly in it. And when I say stars, I mean she is the star. She steals the screen in every scene. 

Windows to the soul.

I need to watch more of her movies, and I want to watch them now that I have seen her in action. She reminds me of Juliette Binoche in the way that she is able to communicate so much with a twitch of her mouth or slight raise of an eyebrow. And I think I understand why she was chosen to play Daisy. Because as shallow as Daisy might appear to be, she is deeply sad. And if there's one thing that Mulligan can portray, it's sadness. 


I pre-judged her, and I'm not afraid to say it. My newfound admiration for her has increased my excitement about Gatsby. I cannot wait.


Now Andrew Garfield on the other hand....I'm not ready to make nice on that one.

You Call THAT An Ending!?

It takes a lot to make a really good movie. It takes very little to ruin one. How many times have you been to a movie that you thought had great potential only to have the ending absolutely suck? I'm not referring to the obvious sad endings like Braveheart or Gladiator or even Titanic. Those endings are at least well thought out. I'm talking about those movies when someone decides to slap an ending on it that really makes very little sense with the rest of what you've been shown. I'm not sure why this happens, though I do have some theories about what must go through the minds of movie makers in these moments:

1. We're tired, let's just do this thing before we waste anymore time or money.

2. Everyone will want it to end this way, so let's just do it.

3. Everyone will want it to end this way, so let's do the opposite.

4. Everyone will expect it to end this way, so let's throw them a curve ball.
5. We have lost all touch with real audiences and have no clue what people want anymore.


Most movies that struggle in this area fall into the romantic comedy or suspense genres. I have all but stopped watching rom-coms, so that one doesn't bother me much. But suspense is my first love! I crave a movie that builds tension and drops in seemingly random things only to have them all come together in one unexpected swoop at the end. Some of my favorites off the top of my head are The Others, Se7en, Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Shutter Island, The Prestige, The Usual Suspects, and Primal Fear.  Each of these movies offer a shocking twist or at least a clever closed circuit that calls upon the most intricate details of the movie in order to deliver a truly great ending.


It's rare though. And more times than not Hollwood gets it wrong. Here are some movies that managed to be ruined in their final minutes. Oh and seeing as how I will be discussing ENDINGS, there will be spoilers ahead.

The aliens can't afford the rent on this side of town!

1. War of the Worlds
We stuck around through a terrifying alien attack and watched the way chaos turns humans into horrific animals. Tom Cruise was even bearable in this one, and yet suddenly when we should have been given no reason to hope, we find out that as long as you live in a brownstone in a high end area of a major metropolis, you'll probably survive. The ending is made worse by a voice over explaining the strangely optimistic "cure" in a matter of a few seconds.

And then the slinky attacked him...yeah...let's end it like that!

2. The Number 23, Secret Window, Hide and Seek, and many many more...
It's a tired trick. Psycho did it first and best. And while other movies have pulled it off, many have not. The main character is living some delusion, maybe has a split personality or something and is the culprit/killer/bad guy. The problem with the above three I've listed is that you don't expect the ending to be bad because of the actors who are in the movies: Jim Carrey, Robert DeNiro, and Johnny Depp. But in truth, all three are in a long line of lacking and sorely disappointing movies that claim this "trick" ending.

It goes downhill from here. 

3. The Village
It's true that M. Night Shyamalan has done some great things for movie making. I was his loyal fan until this one. And honestly, this particular movie did pull me in with all the right silences and colors and terrifying moments. But in the end, I felt ripped off. I don't find the paved road exciting, I just find it blah. Of course we all know that Shyamalan hasn't pulled off another decent twist ending since this attempt. It's too bad because when he was hot, he was on fire!

Can you just arrest him and call it a day?

4. Zodiac
I should have known better. I should have done my research. How horrible to sit through such an intense and scary movie about a serial killer only to never have a resolution. The only thing that's worse is that it happened that way in real life.

Dear Amanda, even Jennifer's Body will be better than this movie. 

5. Letters to Juliet
I don't even remember why I hate this movie other than the fact that this old lady kept brushing Amanda Seyfried's hair. Weird. I didn't bother refreshing myself on this movie, I'm just certain that I hated the ending.

What is your least favorite movie ending?

Our Obsession With The Beautiful and The Bloody

If there's anything at all that we can credit the Twilight series for (other than the opportunity to look at Taylor Lautner's abs) it's that it brought about the revival of "monsters" in our "literature." I use quotes to emphasize the fact that I am letting monsters be an all encompassing term and more importantly to emphasize the fact that I do NOT consider Twilight, to be literature.


It's hard to trace the origin of the growing obsession with zombies, vampires, and more. Or maybe it's not hard at all, maybe I'm just lazy. I speculate that each generation has its own introduction to the undead. Maybe a movie, a TV show, or a book breaks through to the mainstream and before long there's a full blown period of obsession. Even though these things come and go in cycles, I think it's fair to say that our most recent items in pop-culture have brought us face to face with a new level of obsession. Even in China, my students cannot get enough of vampires and zombies. We are infiltrated with The Vampire Diaries, The Twilight movies, Jennifer's Body, The Walking Dead, Zombieland, True Blood, The Cabin in The Woods, Dark Shadows, Daybreakers, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,
Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters, Resident Evil, Gossip Girl...oh wait...that's a whole other kind of monster.


Last weekend the movie, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter came out in theaters. Now of course, I haven't seen it, but I was surprised at how many of my friends seemed interested in the film. Our society is so ripe for it, that if this movie fails it will be simply because it takes itself too seriously or doesn't deliver a clever twist.

Just a sampling of the comments on my "how will i survive the zombie apocalypse in China" picture I drew recently.

I have some theories that are much too complex for this blog about how in times of uncertainty, bad economy, bad politics, polarized ethics, and war, our culture tends to embrace this kind of entertainment. We need a clear and common enemy. Vampires and zombies are about as clear as you can get. They will eat you and me and everyone we know...we must work together! It really is something we can all get behind. It's something that you can't help but think about if you are at all plugged into TV or Movies. Sure it seems silly and extreme, and maybe some of it is all in fun, but it never hurts to have a plan. There are entire websites dedicated to surviving the impending doom. Also, Bangor Maine decided to do this recently. We really are a culture obsessed.


So what is it about these monsters that gets us so caught up? I propose three things:
1. We are fascinated with the concepts of death and living forever. 
It's true, no one really wants to die. And if someone you love dies, it's a fabulous thought to consider that they might come back. We love ghost stories and hauntings. Our history is steeped in them. I think it's because no matter what our religious beliefs, ultimately what happens after we die is unknown. Vampires and zombies play on our greatest fears, because they are dead and yet undead. They are enemies yet we want to be them. They are mythical and have origins that go so deep into our past that it's hard to just pack them away in the name of "that could never happen" or "you know better" statements.

Bite me. No, really, please, bite me.

2. Vampires live the lives we want to live.
From perfectly pale skin and ruby red lips to glowing eyes, Vampires look good. Even before Edward sparkled, vampires have always been beautiful. It's one of the reasons they make our skin crawl. To see something so stunning react in such a primal way and end up with blood all over its face is a frightening image, and yet one we see a lot. They are so beautiful these days that my friends and I have joked in regards to Twilight and TrueBlood...I wouldn't mind having one of THOSE vampires bite me. Even the environments of vampires are better than ours. I saw Daybreakers yesterday and was very aware of the minimalist modern furniture in the home of the vampires. They have had hundreds of years to make money and they all seem to be rich. It's proven by the sleek lines and impressive technology that each vampire seems to have access to. Who doesn't want to live at the Cullen's house? And even digging back to Interview with a Vampire, Louis and LeStat live lives of pure glamour. And lastly, they live it forever. At first you might deny that you would be interested in life forever. But think about it. Say you get to be 25 forever and with access to all that money and those looks? You could do all of the things you never got to do. Admit it, it's appealing.

Suddenly your mother in law doesn't seem so bad huh?

3. Zombies make us like each other better.
We are not very likable at times. We think too much or feel too much. We piss each other off and hurt each other's feelings. We get jealous and betray each other. Sometimes the only thing we have going for us is the fact we are not trying to eat each other, and in recent weeks even that seems to be up for grabs. Humans suck. EXCEPT when faced with zombies. Then...we are the shit. Nothing makes you appreciate your fellow man (woman) more than being chased by a bloody mindless body with one goal, to eat you. As we've seen in The Walking Dead, Zombieland, and other zombie classics, people tend to pull together and the best in all of us comes out when there is a mob of the risen dead chasing you. It also teaches us to cut our losses and fast when we are watching zombie entertainment. So your boyfriend was talking to you about forever a few minutes ago then he got bit and now he's passed out. You know what you have to do. Sure it's hard to say goodbye, but ultimately it's just somebody that you used to know and it's time to shoot him in the head. No room for that kind of baggage. In the midst of a zombie apocalypse you will be thrilled to see your high school rival or Ann Coulter even. You won't mind snuggling up to that homeless man to stay warm. When zombies attack we have a common enemy, and that makes us all friends, right?