Horrifying Hump Day: Real Villains

When it comes to scary movies, it's easy to think of the ones with monsters in them first. You know those villains who could never exist in real life. The Freddies and Jasons, vampires, ghosts, and zombies are easy targets because they look scary. But what about those villains who look just like you and me? Those are the ones who we really need to look out for. Here are some of the most evil and realistic bad guys out there.

Don't test me.

Hannibal Lecter-Silence of the Lambs
Anthony Hopkins
You had me at cannibalism. I remember realizing what that meant as a child and being horrified. Lecter is the stuff our nightmares are made of. And you'd think that his being behind bars would be comforting during the movie, but it's not. Even with Buffalo Bill out there killing plus-sized women and demanding they put lotion on, Lecter is still the most horrifying bad guy around. His intelligence, eerily seductive accent, and eating habits put him on the top of my list of people I want to avoid.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

Jack Torrance-The Shining
Jack Nicholson
You know what's worse than a crazy person? Not knowing someone is a crazy person. That's why Jack is so alarming. You think he's writing the next great novel, only to one day realize he is a broken record repeating the ominous phrase, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." His slow descent into madness and the fact that he carries an axe everywhere is reason enough for me to stay away.

You dirty bird.

Annie Wilkes-Misery
Kathy Bates
Women are scary. Because rather than just going crazy or being a sociopath, they bring an emotional element to the table. And what Annie brings to the table is obsession, delusion, and codependent attachment to a fictional character. All we know about Annie up front is that she's a nurse, and a big "fan" of the Misery books. She has a sweet little vocabulary full of phrases like "Mr. Man" and keeps her bangs pinned back making her seem innocent enough. But what we learn about her later is that she is not above kidnapping, drugging, and smashing ankles in a scene that STILL makes me cringe whenever I see it. Oh and also she burned some things and killed some people before the Misery incident, so there's that too.

This'll toughen you up.

Aaron Stampler-Primal Fear
Edward Norton
Maybe the only thing worse than a crazy person and not knowing someone is crazy is someone who pretends to be crazy. Aaron is the worst kind of villain because he is also a coward. He plays the victim, and lies his way through a murder trial, only to reveal in the last few moments that he is in fact perfectly sane. He avoids prison by manipulating the jury and his lawyer. I shouldn't even put him on the list with such legends like Lecter and Torrance, but I do think he's notable, because in all truth, he is the closest to the kind of "bad guys" you and I come into contact with on a daily basis.

I've killed a lot of people.

Patrick Bateman-American Psycho
Christian Bale
This movie has forever ruined me because now I think that any and every white collared, white male is probably a serial killer. This is why I can't vote Republican. But in all seriousness, Bateman is one of those men that you cannot look away from. His morning routine is fascinating and disturbing as is his obsession with the perfect business card (one of the all time greatest scenes ever). He juggles his double life as though he created the concept, and quite honestly, he probably gave birth to the concept of Dexter. And the worst part, I'm strangely attracted to him...that is when he's not carrying a chainsaw.

This is not gonna stop.

Alex Forrest-Fatal Attraction
Glenn Close
Again, women are terrifying. The great thing about Alex is that her obsession with the affair became a lesson to men everywhere not to cheat on their wives. And the movie is a very thorough lesson. This is the last person you want showing up at your house, messing with your family pets and threatening to end your life as you know it. I mean, he should have known by the hair. That is crazy woman hair!

I'm gonna outlast you.

Max Cady-Cape Fear
Robert DeNiro 
You could argue that either version of Cady is scary, but I prefer DeNiro's smirk in the remake. He's buff and tatted up and his Southern accent is somewhere between sexy and threatening. There's a rape scene in this movie that might be one of the worst scenes I've ever seen, and the way he seduces the daughter in the film makes him seriously creepy. Not to mention, this dude doesn't quit! He is sooo strong. But it's his dedication to religion that makes him memorable. Watching him speak in tongues as he drowns is one of those scenes that is forever planted in my mind.

I am the context.

Kevin-We Need To Talk About Kevin
Ezra Miller
While it's not a classic, and is actually pretty new, Kevin, is one of the more devastating villains on the list because...well, it seems he is literally born to be bad. I think it's every mom's worst nightmare that they might see something evil in their child early on and not be able to correct it. Kevin is that evil. Kevin also represents the now dozens and dozens of teenagers who have gone to school with intent to kill, making him all too realistic for enjoyment. A master manipulator, a brilliant mind, and a killer at an early age, he has a face only a mother can...well...something.

Who are you afraid of?