I was out for a walk today, listening to my most recently assembled playlist entitled "Wanderlust" when a song came on that I haven't heard in a while. It took me back immediately to a very defining moment in my life. I love how music does that. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to write about some of the music that's defined my life.
The song that played today on my walk was Linkin Park's "Waiting For The End." I discovered this song in January of 2011, which was the month before I left Fresno. It became the song that represented my move from California back to Alabama. The lyrics are great, and I sang them with tears pouring down my face as I waved bye to my three best friends and let my mom drive me out of the city. "So I'm picking up the pieces now where to begin, the hardest part of ending is starting again." Truer words have never been spoken.
There are a few artists that I could name as important at every turn, Sarah Mclachlan and Coldplay are two of those. Sarah McLachlan's album, Afterglow, became the album of my last six months in New Orleans for a variety of reasons. At the time, songs like "Push" and "Answer" seemed to fit, but looking back "Trainwreck," "Stupid," and "Dirty Little Secret" are much more applicable. The song that is the most representative is "Fallen." The lyrics say, "But it's one missed step and slip before you know it, and there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed." Oh the irony of feeling in desperate need of redemption as I graduated from seminary!
Maybe the best soundtrack of the past decade...or maybe ever, is that of Garden State. I think I played it every single time I climbed into my maroon XTERRA for the entire year I lived in Nashville during 2004-2005. It's a mellow album with lots of heavy songs, but lots of hope too. Iron and Wine's version of "Such Great Heights," Frou Frou's "Let Go," and Remy Zero's "Fair" are all incredible. It also features The Shins, Coldplay, Nick Drake, and Cary Brothers. But Simon and Garfunkel's "The Only Living Boy In New York" is my favorite, and for that time horrible year in Nashville, I felt like the only living person there, and that song (and soundtrack) gave me what I needed to get through it. "I get the news I need on the weather report...Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile."
In the fall of 2010 I was finishing up my MFA thesis. The thesis was basically the story of my developing (and at times, deteriorating) faith. I spent a few days on the California coast near Santa Cruz in a place called Capitola/Aptos. I spent the time writing like crazy trying to finish chapter after chapter, and the entire time I listened to the song, "Ocean" by Bebo Norman. I was introduced to Bebo in 2000 by my friend Leslie, and have been a fan since. This particular song was inspiring and worshipful and comforting for me, exactly what I needed for that project. But to this day, I cannot hear it without picturing the little town of Capitola and the thousands of words I put down during those days. "You are an ocean, and I can get lost in the first wind on my shore." Because of having it on replay for that time, it remains the most played song in my iTunes.
As I mentioned before, a Coldplay song could really be named to represent almost every turn, every emotion, and every event of my last ten years. This particular song has kind of become my anthem for forgiveness. The older I get, the more people let me down, or just flat out hurt me. I guess it's bound to happen as we grow and experience more. We just rub against each other in hurtful ways. My mom says this shapes me. She calls it "heavenly sandpaper." She's good like that. The worst part about being hurt is that the people who hurt you the most are usually the ones you don't get the apology from. It's a hard lesson, and one that forces you to find inward peace. The song, "Death and All His Friends" is one the song that soothes my anger and want for vindication more than any other. Not only is the music fantastic (of course), but the lyrics (though few) are perfect. "No I don't want a battle from beginning to end, I don't want to cycle or recycle revenge, I don't want to follow death and all his friends." It puts me at ease every time.
I will write a few more of these blogs in time, as there is no way I could limit defining music to just these! But I'll let you digest these few and consider your own defining music.
Is there a defining song that represents a moment or period of time for you? Tell me about it!
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